


Cas and the Cradle

by dontcryMasha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Angel Orgasms, Awkward Castiel, Baby Sam, Bobby Deals With Idjits, Bobby's House, Bottom Castiel, Cas learns about sex, Castiel Cooks, Dean goes soft, Dean in Denial, Destiel parenting, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Drama, Family Drama, First Time, Fountain of Youth, M/M, Sam is a jerk, Semi-Public Sex, Spiritual, Tearjerker, Top Dean, Wing Kink, jizz hoarding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:11:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1975524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcryMasha/pseuds/dontcryMasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quest for the Fountain of Youth goes awry and leaves Sam a little shortchanged, so Dean is forced into coping with the results. Turns out he's no better at being a dad than his own. Turns out Cas might save the day as he takes on a "mom role". Mid season 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forever Young

**Author's Note:**

> This was my very first Supernatural fanfic. I admit the first chapter is a little bit boring, but just go with it. The details are important, but it gets WAY better. A lot of my readers adore this story. I'll update as quickly as I can read through it all (I've written it all already). I'll add more tags as I go through!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious disappearances of elderly people in Florida. Long story short, someone has apparently found the Fountain of Youth. It turns ugly and Sam gets a major booboo.

_“Really? A couple old farts pop off the radar and you think it’s worth investigating?”_

_“Hey look Dean; any time there’s a pattern I think it’s worth looking into. And besides, when was the last time we went down to Florida?”_

_“Oh yeah, Florida; capital of the elderly. Where’s the party bus? Where’s the party bus?”_

_“Enough.”_

_Dean made a stupid face and kept driving. “Yeah okay. We’ll check this out. What else do we know?”_

_“Well, apparently it was six old guys. Seems like they knew each other but I’m not sure how much. But then four months ago a few others disappeared, too.”_

_“There’s two groups?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“What d’you think it is?”_

_“Could be anything at this point.”_

_“Better be something for us. I swear if it’s just some fucking cult I’m gonna go ape shit.”_

_Sam chuckled a little. “Whatever you say.”_

_“And hey, maybe when we’re done we can take you to Disney World?”_

_“Shut up,” Sam quipped, rolling his eyes._

* * *

“Mrs. Shea?”

“Y-yes?” An old woman popped her head between the door and the screen, peering at the two tall men in suits. “Can I help you?”

“Agents Anderson and Ames,” Dean said as the boys flashed FBI badges at the woman. “We’d like to ask you a few questions about your missing husband.”

“I don’t understand; I just spoke to the police about it on Monday.”

“We have a couple follow up questions,” Sam added. “If you have a few minutes.”

“That’s fine,” the woman said. She lead them inside to an embroidered sofa in the living room. “Please take a seat.” Dean plopped down heavily.

“Thank you,” said Sam. “So Mrs. Shea, when did your husband disappear?”

“Sunday night.”

“Did he say anything before he left?”

“Yes. He went out with some of his friends,” she said.

“That something he normally does?” asked Dean.

“Well no, not exactly,” the woman continued, looking down. “That’s what I find so odd about it. He has friends of course, but there was this new social group or so he had been spending time with recently. They were so excited about this ‘excursion.’”

“Did they tell you where they went?”

Mrs. Shea went on to describe how this Pendleton fellow had been organizing so called “meetings” or “excursions.” Mr. Shea attended every Sunday but for some reason he kept quiet about the details. His wife wasn’t allowed but he was extremely excited to attend, particularly on the day that he disappeared.

Once they got everything they needed, Dean and Sam wished her well (or whatever) and went on their way.

“Pendleton, huh?” Dean said.

“Yep.”

“Sounds like the best lead yet. What do you think he’s up to?”

“No idea.”

They went to a phonebook and looked up any Pendletons in the town. There was just one; Xavier. Cautiously the boys proceeded to the mystery man’s house. From the outside it appeared normal, but as they stood around the front door waiting for a reply to their knocks, something seemed off.

“Something seems off,” Sam said in a hushed tone.

“Yeah but what?” Dean replied, just as quiet.

“I dunno.”

Obviously nobody was home so they wandered around the outside for a bit, peering in through the windows. A room near the back appears to be a study.

“Yo Sam, check it out,” said Dean, pointing at one of the windows he stood before. Sam stepped beside him and looked in as well. There were maps and scrolls plastered all over the walls. Things had been scribbled all over them, and old newspaper articles were strewn about the place.

“Fountain of Youth?” Sam said under his breath.

“Oh this has fishy written all over it,” Dean said. “Fuck it.” He jumped up onto the windowsill and slid the window up. A big smile ripped across his face when it opened without a struggle. “C’mon, Sam.”

“I dunno if we should just…” Sam’s voice faded as his brother disappeared into the house, leaving him no choice but to climb in as well.

“Okay, now do your little nerd stuff, Sammy,” Dean said with a quiet chortle, pointing at the papers all over the mystery man’s desk. Sam sighed to himself and started to read.

“Uhhh Ponce de Leon, right right; he looked in Florida for the Fountain of Youth.”

“You don’t think this guy’s found it, do you?”

“I’m not sure.”

Right as Sam picked up a magazine clipping, slow footsteps followed them into the room.

“Didn’t realize I had company today,” someone said. The boys looked up and saw a young man grinning at them. Without giving them the chance to explain, the stranger raised his hands with a smile. “It’s alright,” he continued. Dean and Sam exchanged suspicious glances. “I see you’ve discovered my discovery.”

“What is this?” Dean asked, taking a more relaxed stance.

“Can’t you tell? I’ve found the Fountain of Youth. Do you want to come see it?”

“Is that where the other men are?” Sam asked. “Did you take them there, too?”

“Yes, I’ve given them,” the man narrowed his eyes with a smirk. “Eternal life. Won’t you come? I’ll take you to them.”

Dean and Sam agreed and with their hands on their revolvers, they followed the man outback and down into the woods.

“I guess you’re Xavier then, huh?” Dean asked as he trudged along behind their weird guide.

“That is correct,” the man said. “I’ve been tracking the place for years and now I’ve finally got it.”

“Where did the men go? The ones that you took to see it?” Sam asked, but Xavier didn’t answer.

Soon they came to a small clearing surrounded by thickets of deep brush. Within the middle was a big, marble fountain. It felt somewhat unbelievable at first but then they realized everything else they had seen recently and Dean basically shrugged it off. But the weird thing was that a whole bunch of slime and slop was slathered all over the ground. It stunk.

“What the hell is going on here?” Asked Dean. Xavier stood at the side of the fountain and looked over his shoulder.

“Funny you should ask,” he said quietly, a thin smile spreading across his lips. “You know the fountain wasn’t naturally like this. No, not at all. In fact it’s not the water or the fountain that makes it so special.”

Sam narrowed his eyes and peered into the basin of the fountain as best as he could. There seemed to be some sort of inscription painted along the bottom. “It’s a spell,” he said beneath his breath.

“A spell? Sort of,” Pendleton continued. He put his hands in his pockets and smiled. Dean glared at him. “The fountain produces an elixir that, went drunk in moderation, gives you eternal youth. But it requires life to create such.”

“You mean, all of this goo on the ground…” Sam mumbled, looking down.

“If you bathe in the fountain long enough, you’ll turn the clock back until you’re fetal. And then you die. I just drink a little sip and I’m good to go.”

“You killed all these people,” Sam huffed.

“It was for a good cause,” Pendleton insisted, smirking. “The only problem is that it’s always old people who _want_ to come, but I need _more_ of them to give the desired effect.”

“You can’t do that!” Dean shouted all of the sudden.

“Why not? It keeps me looking and feeling great.”

“So you’re just going to keep lying to people? And bringing them here to their death?”

“They’re old anyway. They won’t be missed.”

“Why are we here?” Sam asked now, narrowing his eyes at the man. Dean stood his ground with his hand gripping the gun in jacket.

“Oh, that’s easy,” said Xavier. “Strong young men like you are _best_ for the fountain. You’re like an energy drink for me.”

“That’s messed up!” Dean yelled. Sensing impending doom, he fired a shot at the man. It struck him straight on in the chest but did little to even move him. “What the heck?”

Pendleton smiled and dipped his pinky in the water of the fountain. “Did I forget to mention it makes you immune to basically everything?” He said, tasting the water gently.

“You can’t die?” Sam asked as he raised his eyebrows.

“In theory if I fell into the fountain I would, but well, you know. _I’m not so clumsy_.”

“I don’t know what the heck you are; if you’re human, demon, I don’t care. You aren’t gonna run around killing people like this!” Dean shouted and ran at the guy.

“Dean, wait!” Sam gasped. He was thrown back a bit by Dean’s rash behavior. But Dean lashed at Xavier and knocked him back to the edge of the fountain, smacking his head into it.

“Idiot!” Pendleton yelled, trying to wrestle Dean off of him.

“You sick son of a bitch!” Dean shouted in protest, slamming the man’s head repeatedly into the edge of the fountain.

“It does no good!” Xavier cried out, almost laughing. He pulled an arm free and slugged Dean in the jaw. Now Sam jumped in and managed to pull the guy out from Dean’s loosening grip. Xavier struggled and fought hard, but Sam overpowered him and tossed him straight into the fountain.

Quicker than they had imagined, Pendleton began to grow younger and younger. His skin firmed more and his skeleton shrunk. Dean got to his feet, adjusting his jaw and wiping a bit of blood off as Sam stood by the edge of the fountain and watched the man run the clock backwards.

It was a little too hypnotic, which you certainly can’t blame Sam for. He stared at Xavier but failed to see that he moved closer to the edge and suddenly, _shoom!_ A small hand reached out and pulled Sam backwards into the fountain as well, and then with a big splash he was deep in the water. Still large enough to grab on, Xavier dug his fingers into Sam’s shoulders and held him under the surface of the water.

“SAM!” Dean yelled. He ran to the fountain but slipped in some of the fetal goo on the ground. Once he managed to get to his feet and up to the fountain, Xavier was just a floating glob of placenta and Sam was, well…

 

“ _A baby?”_ Bobby reiterated in disbelief over the phone.

“Uh. Yeah,” Dean said, looking over at the gurgling infant on the passenger’s seat, sloppily strapped into the belt.

“ _How’n the heck didja manage that_?”

“Long story, Bobby. But listen, I need you to watch him or something until I figure out how to reverse this.”

“ _Oh right, like you’re gonna be able ta do that on your own_.”

“No, that’s why I need you to watch him.”

“ _Dang it, boy. You know what I mean.”_ Dean didn’t answer. _“The research, son, the research. The smartest half a y’all is a baby and you expect to fix somethin’ I ain’t ever even heard of?”_

“I dunno what else to do!” Dean bitched.

“ _Cool yer jets, Dean.”_ Bobby said with a sigh. “ _Just get out this way and we’ll take a look at what’s goin’ on.”_

“Alright. Thanks.” Dean hung up the phone and looked over at his brother, who was now fast asleep. _Great_.


	2. Damn it, Sammy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean comes back to Bobby's house, Bobby is less than pleased with the situation presented to him; but Dean is also surprised to find Castiel there. Baby Sam is difficult for Dean to handle, but Cas has an easier time. He has questions, though.

 

Dean carried baby Sam gawkily in his arms as he went up to Bobby’s door. Sam clung to his brother’s shoulder making little popping noises with his lips. “C’mon Sam, be cool.”

The door opened up and Bobby wheeled up to the threshold, staring. “Dang it, Dean.”

“Good to see you, too,” Dean rolled his eyes and invited himself in.

“This’s the worst possible time fer you to be throwin’ babies ‘n stuff at me,” Bobby said as he shook his head, turned around and headed to the study. Dean followed but stopped in his tracks when he came into the room.

“Cas?” Dean asked, widening his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

Before Cas could answer, Bobby rolled in between them and said, “It ain’t his job to keep you informed! I need ‘im for somethin’.”

“ _Somethin’?_ ” Dean sputtered. It was almost like he was jealous. Sam gripped the collar of Dean’s coat and pulled it into his mouth.

“Bobby requested my help in a case,” Cas said, keeping his eyes fixed on a book.

“Oh great, great,” Dean groaned. “So you guys are palling around together and I’m stuck with my god damn baby brother!” Sam started to cry. “Aww come on Sam, not now, not now!”

Cas looked up at Dean and observed him attempting to calm down his brother. And failing. Badly.

“Cas don’t bother with ‘em right now,” Bobby said, coming back around to his desk. “They can wait. Won’t hurt Dean ta learn a little somethin’ about takin’ care a babies. God knows it’s all I’ve ever done with ‘em.” Dean glared at Bobby’s retort but immediately went back to rocking Sam or something. He really didn’t know what to do and the baby just kept fussing.

“I believe this would be your best option,” Cas said to Bobby, pointing at something on the page in front of him. Dean kept glaring.

“Alright. Think ya could take me there?” Bobby asked.

“I can send you, but it’s far too risky for an angel to tread that close.”

“Wait wait wait,” Dean interrupted, causing Bobby to groan loudly.

“Dang it, Dean!”

“What are you doing?” Dean asked in a hiss. “That sounds important and I want to know.”

“Not everythin’ involves you, boy,” Bobby sighed. “Y’know I _do_ work cases without ‘cha.”

“Oh, right; cases that are too dangerous for Cas but not too dangerous for you and your wheels?”

“I would say the level of danger for a human is low,” Cas remarked, looking at Dean. “And Sam has thrown up on you.”

“What?!” Damn!!” Dean bit down on his tongue and glared at the mess Sam was making on his jacket. “God damn it!” He paced around the room briefly then ran to Cas and held the baby out to him. “J-just hold this a second!”

Cas froze and stared at baby Sam, who sort of eyed him but then looked away. Dean presented him and Cas had no choice but to take the baby. His hands slipped underneath Sam’s tiny arm pits and he held him far from his body. “Hello Sam,” Cas said in the usual monotone. The baby blew a spit bubble and giggled. “I am not familiar with this method of communication.”

“It’s just baby babble,” Bobby said grumpily as he starting to pull a rucksack together, meanwhile Dean was being a diva in the kitchen, rushing around for paper towels to get his jacket looking perfect again. He cursed at himself a few times, always followed up by Bobby shaking his head.

Cas kept his eyes fixed at Sam, trying to read him. “This is impossible,” he said.

“What is?” Bobby asked.

“His thought processes are almost nonexistent. He requires food but he cannot even express it.”

“Well then feed the damn boy,” Bobby grunted. He threw the bag into his lap and wheeled closer to Cas. “But send me on m’way first.”

“Woah, Bobby, wait a second,” Dean interjected from the kitchen. He came around the corner, dabbing his jacket dry with a towel. The older man closed his eyes in frustration. “You’re going out somewhere alone?”

“I never said I was goin’ alone. I’m meetin’ people there.” Bobby glared up at Dean. “Don’t get yer brother killed, alright?”

“I don’t plan on it,” Dean grumped, rolling his eyes. Bobby copied the expression then turned to Cas.

“Git me outta here before I gotta watch Dean do somethin’ stupid.”

“Right.” Cas looked up at Dean and held baby Sam out to him. “Please hold this infant again.” Dean stepped in and snatched his brother once more, then with his free hands Cas touched Bobby lightly on the temple and he vanished.

“You made the wheelchair go, too?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“Okay then.” Dean shrugged it off and took a seat, keeping Sam propped up in his lap. “So Cas, you got any idea how to make Sam a big boy again?”

“No.”

“Helpful today.” Dean said as he shook his head.

“I will need more details on how Sam became young.”

“Oh, right. Well it’s like this Fountain of Youth thing that he fell into. The dude was drinking from it to make him young and strong, but he had to kill people in the water to make it effective. You know anything about that?”

“No. But I can check.”

“It was in Flor-“ Before Dean could answer, Cas vanished. He sighed heavily to himself and looked down at Sam, who smiled back at him. “You know you’re really useless like this.” The baby gurgled and reached out his hands to him. “But I gotta admit you’re cute. At least cuter than normal.”

Then a light _swoosh_ and Cas was standing right in front of Dean. “I have checked a few places but they don’t know,” he said.

“Wow. Great.”

“I was unsuccessful at obtaining the information you requested. I don’t see how that is ‘great.’”

“You’re hopeless,” Dean chuckled to himself and rocked Sam a bit.

“Dean,” Cas began.

“Huh?”

“Sam requires food.”

“Okay, uh, great. What do babies eat again?”

“I don’t know.”

Dean frowned and glared down at the baby. Sam’s face started to turn red. “Ohhh no, no, no.” Despite the desperate pleas, Sam began to cry. “Ah, damn it Sammy! C’mon, c’mon.” Dean hopped up to his feet and tried to cradle and rock Sam gently. He felt like an idiot, especially since Cas just stood there and stared at him.

“He requires food,” the angel repeated. “That should cure his irritating method of communicating.”

“What the heck do I feed him?” Dean groaned. “Oh, wait. Milk, right?”

“I told you, I don’t know.”

“They drink from tits or something. Duh. Right. Of course. Hey Cas you don’t have tits, do you?”

Cas looked down at his own chest then slowly back up to Dean. “No,” he said calmly.

“Bobby’s gotta have something,” Dean said in a rush. He dashed to the kitchen and started to fumble around with one arm. He pulled open the fridge and spotted a half-gallon bottle of milk. “This should work. Right Sammy?” The baby looked at his brother, still fussing quite a bit, and watched him as he did his best to rig an empty beer bottle with a bit of plastic stretched across it all to make some sort of nipple. “Don’t choke on it or anything, okay?”

Sam happily took the bottle into his mouth and began to suckle on it. He closed his eyes and drank away. Dean smiled a little as he kept the bottle propped up in his hand.

“I don’t think you are the best person for this job,” Cas said. He stood directly behind Dean now.

“You gotta keep doing that?” Dean snarked.

“Doing what?”

“Popping up behind me. Startling me might, I dunno, upset Sam or something.”

“Sorry. Force of habit. I’ll do my best to use my legs around Sam.”

“Thanks,” Dean said quietly, twitching his upper lip.

Baby Sam finished off the milk and started to fall asleep, so Dean put the bottle away and carried him off to the sofa. Cas followed.

“So where did Bobby go, anyway?” Dean asked Cas quietly.

“I have given him my word that I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“I cannot pass a human through my bowels, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Right, right,” he groaned and lay back on the sofa, keeping Sam on his chest. The baby fussed. He wriggled about and whined. “Sammy, can’t you sleep? Aren’t babies supposed to sleep more than anything else?”

Sam ignored his brother and kept fussing. His legs kicked out and he started to cry. This put Dean a little more on edge. “Damn it, Sam! You already cried! Seriously?! You’re going to cry again!? You can’t be hungry. What the heck!”

Cas came over to the sofa and put his fingers out to Sam, which upon contact made him sleep immediately. Dean sighed in relief.

“Ahh,” he hummed with a smile. “That’s better.” Then he pointed up at Cas and said, quite sternly, “You stay right here.”

* * *

“I cannot walk away from this,” said Cas. “If anything happens to Sam, I will only blame myself.”

“What? Why?” Dean groggily groaned, still popping in and out of sleep on the sofa. Sam clung to him and dozed peacefully.

“Clearly your child attending skills are severely lacking.”

“Oh yeah,” Dean spattered. “Like yours are so good? Do you even know where babies come from?” The angel stood still and stared at Dean for a moment, digesting his question. Dean rolled his eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“Where do th—“

“I’m not telling you!” Dean barked. “God damn.”

“I see no reason to be defensive. I was merely asking a question to broaden my knowledge of human behavior.”

“ _Right_ ,” the human chuckled. “Well there’s no way I’m telling you about human sexual behavior.”

“Human sexual behavior? That is related to the reproductive process?”

Dean glared up at the angel. “We aren’t talking about this,” he insisted.

“Why is your face turning red?” Cas asked.

“We aren’t talking about this!” Dean cried out again. He hugged little Sammy and pretended to fall asleep once more.

“Very well,” agreed Cas. Dean looked back at him but saw he was gone.

“Damn it Cas!” he cursed, then his voice fell softer and he muttered, “I need you.” He sighed heavily to himself then looked down at the baby. “This is a real pain in the ass,” he said to his infantile brother, who obviously did not hear since he was fast asleep. Dean scoffed a bit then managed to doze off as well.

But it was short lived. About an hour later, Sam woke up and immediately began fussing. Dean opened his eyes slowly and saw the baby’s face bright red and tearing up. “Oh fuck me,” Dean groaned. He sat up on the sofa and tried to coddle Sam out of his fussiness. “Sshh, Sammeehh. I’m the one who should be crying dude, be cool.”

Sam cried and cried, scrunching up his little face as tears rolled down it. As frustrating as the whole thing was, Dean was also pretty torn on this inside because after all, it was his brother.

“Hang in there, Sam. It’s gonna be okay.” Dean spoke to him in a gruff, quiet voice, bobbing the baby up and down on his knee, but it did little good; Sam kept fussing and crying and shaking his little hands about. “I don’t know what you want! Can’t you speak up or something?!” He stared back at the baby and sighed. “Right, right. Okay. Well I guess we gotta see what the internet says about taking care of babies.”

Dean rolled his eyes a bit as he got up from the sofa, propping Sammy against his chest with one arm as he teetered over to the laptop. He flicked it on, grumping and grouching to himself, then easily found a plethora of nauseating websites.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean muttered to himself as he scrolled through page after page of brightly colored text with pictures and sayings so horrifying that he did all he could to block it out of his mind. “Please tell me I was more badass than this when I was a baby.”

Sam sniffled a little and put his head against Dean’s chest. He popped his lips a few times and giggled.

“What’s funny,” Dean mumbled and Sam stopped making noise. He wriggled precariously atop the muscular leg with his eyes wide open. His brother looked down at him with an appalled face. “I guess you need a, a, a _change_.”

Sam glanced up at his brother, staring silently. It creeped Dean out because it almost seemed like Sam knew what he was talking about.

“You are so dead when you get back to normal,” he huffed. “And if I _ever_ have to buy diapers for you again…” His thought process shut down once it occurred to him what he had just said. He had to buy diapers. “CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!”

A heavy sigh fell from Dean’s chest after his cry for help and he closed his eyes in agony. Sam continued to wiggle about on his leg.

“Yes.”

Dean looked over his shoulder and saw the angel now standing there, staring out in his general direction. “I need you to watch Sam while I go…” Dean struggled to get the words out. “ _Buy_ … _diapers._ ”

“If I must,” Cas said with a nod. “Give me the child.”

Dean leered at Cas suspiciously then slowly, slowly handed Sam over to him. Cas took the baby awkwardly and held him out in front of himself. “Hello Sam,” he said rather plainly. Sam stared back and gave him a little baby frown.

“I just can’t have him in the car,” Dean said. “I don’t have a seat for him or whatever, and the last thing I need is Sammy getting his skull cracked open because I suck as a father.”

Cas took his eyes off of Sam for a moment and looked at Dean. “But you are his brother, not his father.”

“You know what I mean,” Dean dismissed quickly and stood up. Before Cas could retort with “No, I don’t” Dean whisked by the angel and over to the front door. “Just make sure he doesn’t kill himself or whatever babies try to do. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

The door slammed shut and Cas put his eyes back on the baby. “Hello Sam,” he said once more. Sam looked frustrated. He wriggled in Cas’ grip uncomfortably, obviously not enjoying his company one bit. “I am under specific instruction to prevent you from attempting suicide,” the angel explained. “If you need emotional counseling, I suppose I can do my best to assist.”

Sam gawked at Cas and drooled. “I don’t understand your method of communication,” said Cas. “I need a clearer command.”

“Gwuuh,” Sam gargled.

“I don’t understand,” Cas sneered back at him, glaring with his eyes quite thin. “You are annoying.” The baby tried hard to kick at the angel, but his small stubby legs prevented him from reaching any kind of success.


	3. Chicks Dig Guys With Chicks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns that having a baby can get win you some points with the ladies, but Cas is still hard and pressed to learn about where babies come from. Some interesting dialogue is exchanged, and Cas gets more familiar with handling baby Sam.

 

“Alright, uhhh let’s see…”

Dean headed down the baby care aisle with a twisted, abhorred look on his face. The very notion of pastel colors and fluffy teddy bears made him want to puke; getting it all for _Sam_ made it even worse. But why were baby items so bloody complicated? Size 4, size 5, toddler, newborn, stretch fit, ergonomically designed, organic, what the fuck? He sighed loudly and picked up a bundle of diapers with an angry frown. Then someone came up behind him and asked, “First time dad, I guess?”

He turned around quickly and saw a young woman whose clothes dictated that she worked at the store. She had a friendly face, narrow figure and a nice uh, name tag sitting atop her, ahem, curvaceous bust.

“Oh, no-no-no-no,” Dean said quickly. “I’m not a dad. It’s for my brother.”

“Aww!” the girl cooed. “You’re taking care of your baby brother? That’s so sweet!”

“It is?” Dean inhaled. Then his face softened and his lips thinned into a flirty smile. “I mean yeah, _it is_ , uhhh, Amber.”

“You look a little lost. Do you need help?”

“That’d be awesome,” Dean said smoothly.

“How old is he?”

“He’s tw- uh, he’s like a year old?”

“Oh alright. Let’s see…” Amber went to the shelves and started pulling things down. “Diapers and what else?”

“Basically everything,” Dean continued, taking the diapers from the clerk and putting them into his hand basket. Amber turned to the side and stared up at Dean with concern.

“Your parents didn’t leave you anything?”

“No uh, our parents aren’t really, well, they’re-“

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I asked.” Amber put her hand on Dean’s arm and squeezed lightly. “It’ll be okay.”

Dean wasn’t crazy about the sympathy but he was totally okay with her touching him. He wet his lips and tipped his chin. “It’s rough,” he said. “But me and Sammy are gonna do alright.” Amber nodded and kept putting item after item of baby crap into the basket.

“You’re very brave, uhh-“

“Dean,” he told her coolly. “I’m Dean.”

“Well you’re very brave, Dean.” Amber flashed a pretty smile and dropped another plastic bottle into Dean’s basket. “You should bring him in. I’d love to meet your little brother.”

“Oh yeah? When do yo-oou--,” Dean narrowed his eyes and made a little smile. “When do you work next?”

Amber tore a bit of paper from a pad in her pocket and scribbled down her number. She handed it to Dean with a slight wink. “Just call me.” Dean took it silently and went to the check out.

* * *

Back at Casa Del Bobby, things were going fairly well for Cas. He was sitting stiffly on the sofa with Sam in his lap, sleeping like a…well…baby. He snoozed and snoozed, propped against Cas’ chest with his tiny thumb in his mouth.

“You are still annoying,” Cas said quietly to basically no one. “But this way you are slightly more tolerable.”

Sam didn’t answer of course, he just lay there sleeping heavily. The angel touched the back of his head and held him gently. The human baby was a very interesting thing. It was amazing to think that they all started out like that; brought into the world as helpless morons, and helpless morons they remain. But how were they brought into the world? Somehow this had never really occurred to Cas before. He had an idea that the females held the fetuses within their bodies, not unlike a parasite, for a certain amount of time until it was somehow extracted from the host. But what actually created the baby? Where did it come from? Was it injected somehow?

“ _Cas? What d’you need?_ ” Bobby’s voice asked through the phone.

“I have to ask you something,” said the angel.

“ _Anything, shoot_.”

“I need to know where human babies come from.”

 _“…what?_ ”

“I need to know where human babies come from,” Cas repeated rather seriously, but Bobby found it pretty funny. He laughed and laughed.

“ _Dang it, Cas!_ ” the man chortled. “ _I’m out here riskin’ my ass on a job, an’ you got nothin’ better ta do then ask me about_ fuckin’ _?”_

“What is _fuckin’_?” Cas asked, causing an even louder torrent of laughter to build in Bobby’s chest. “Bobby please answer my questions. I believe this information is necessary for blending in with your kind.”

“ _Ask Dean_ ,” Bobby bubbled. “ _He knows aaaaaall about that sorta thing.”_

“I already asked Dean. He didn’t want to tell me.”

“ _Figures_ ,” the man answered in his usual grumpiness. The laughter faded.

“Why? Why does it figure?”

“ _Listen Cas; I ain’t got time ta talk about this. Y’know what I’m dealin’ with. Just keep askin’ Dean. He’ll tell ya sooner or later.”_

“I’ll try,” Cas sighed stiffly, but Bobby had already hung up. The angel set down his phone and looked back at Sam, who continued to sleep peacefully on him. “If you were still an adult, you could answer my questions. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to learn how humans reproduce.”

Sam wiggled a bit in his sleep and gurgled his mouth as Cas watched with great interest. _Where_ did they _come_ from?! Still wondering, Cas leaned back into the sofa a little more and held Sam in place. It was quite perplexing.

Just in time, the front door opened and someone walked in. “ _Cas?”_ Dean called out. His voice woke up little Sam and he began to cry, much to Cas’ disappointment. He wrinkled his face and stared down at the baby.

“Thank you, Dean,” the angel grunted.

“What, you finally understand sarcasm now or something?” Dean said with a laugh as he came into the study, arms full of grocery bags.

“I’ve been learning from you,” said Cas.

“That’s great,” Dean chuckled as he set the bags down on the floor. “But get this – I just found the friggin’ key to the lost city of women.”

“I haven’t heard of this city,” Cas stated and Dean groaned loudly in annoyance.

“Not an actual city,” the man huffed. “I mean being single and having a kid is like dangling the sweetest bait out there.”

Cas’ hands patted Sam all over, slowly. “There is some discomfort in his rear.”

“Cas! You aren’t listening!”

“Your brother is unhappy yet you continue to blather on about some lost city. Where are your ‘priorities’?”

Dean groaned again. “He needs a diaper change.”

“What is a diaper?”

The guy bent down and scooped up a pack of diapers, then chucked them at Cas and folded his arms. “Those.”

Looking the package over curiously, Cas narrowed his eyes wet his lips inquisitively. “I still don’t understand. What is this?”

“They’re diapers. They go on babies’ asses to keep their shit from falling out. But you gotta change ‘em and they’re seriously gross. I guess. I don’t know. I’ve never done it. And now I gotta see my brother’s shit _and_ dick.”

“You’re saying that neither of us know how to use these?” Cas asked, peering up at Dean. Luckily Sam had settled down a bit.

“I know theoretically,” Dean replied. Now he took a seat next to Cas on the sofa and snatched his fussy brother away from him. “How ya doin’, Sammy?”

“He has been sleeping.”

“Cool,” said Dean. “Now let’s uh, figure out this diaper thing.” He picked up Sam and carried him over to a table. “I think we gotta lay him down. And then uh, well, uh.”

“What is the purpose of this ritual?” Cas asked, staring at Dean with a tiny furrow in his brow.

“Dude, it’s not a ritual. It’s just changing a diaper.” Dean reluctantly put his hands over Sam’s little pants and frowned. The baby glanced up at him blankly, wiggling his body.

“Why are you changing the diaper?”

“Because it’s full of shit.”

Cas glared at Dean, focusing his eyes carefully. “Do you mean not credible,” the angel muttered. “Or actually overloaded with fecal matter?”

Dean laughed. “ _Fecal matter?_ Really?”

“Isn’t that what you call it?”

“Some people yeah maybe; not me. Now come on, help me with this.”

“How can I help?”

Sam kicked his legs up into the air at Dean, but he caught them and stopped any further movement. Cas took a few steps closer. He looked down at Sam then up at Dean.

“What is difficult about this, Dean?”

Dean groaned. “When I take his diaper off, I’m gonna see his _everything_. You think I wanna see that?!”

“It appears to be a necessity, not a desire.”

“True, but it doesn’t make me wanna do it anymore. Can’t you give it a try? C’mon Cas, save the day and change little Sammy’s diaper.”

“Do you wish me to do this for you?” Cas asked, staring at Dean seriously.

“You will?”

“Yes.”

Dean raised his eyebrows and his hands let up off of the baby. “Really?” He asked, prompting a slow nod from Cas. “Sweet. Then uh, get to it.” He quickly walked away and pushed Cas to where he had been standing. The angel put his hands on Sam’s pants, just like Dean had done.

“What do I do?”

“Take down his pants,” Dean said rather annoyed. He turned away from the table and put his hands in his pockets. “Take off the diaper, then I dunno; wipe off the shit and put on a new one.”

“I will do my best,” Cas said. He took of Sam’s little pants and then peeled off the diaper. It was nasty but Cas didn’t even care. Sam bubbled his lips as the angel cleaned him up nice and neat. Dean kept his back to Cas the whole time, frowning to himself but also smiling at Cas’ willingness to help.

Finally, the angel announced that he was done. He picked up Sam and held him out to his brother. “It was easy.”

“You think so?” Dean asked. He came back around and looked at Sam and Cas. A little smile flicked across his lips.

“What is it?” Cas asked. Sam wiggled about within the angel’s hands like a freshly caught tuna. Dean blinked a couple times then walked to the kitchen. “Dean.”

“Yeah just hang onto him a little longer,” the man mumbled. He scooped up one of the grocery bags and took it with him to the kitchen, where he dropped it on the counter and started to fix a bottle. _Dean Winchester making bottles for a baby_ , he thought to himself, shaking his head. _What the fuck happened to me_.

Cas took baby Sam back to the sofa and sat down with him. Even though he was nice and dry, he started to fuss.

“Sam, please don’t,” said Cas. “This is annoying.”

Then Dean came bouncing back into the study with a green plastic bottle grasped in his palm. He sat down next to Cas and handed it to him. “Try this,” Dean said quietly. Cas silently took the bottle then held it out to Sam. “No, you gotta put it in his mouth. He can’t feed himself, remember?”

“Oh. Correct.” The angel actually made a tiny smile and pressed the nipple of the bottle to Sam’s mouth. He took it gently and began to suckle. “This stops the fussing well. I wish he could express his desires better.”

Dean sat back and folded his arms. “Uh, thanks,” he said quietly.

“You’re welcome,” Cas replied.

“So about the whole chicks dig guys with kids thing,” Dean continued smoothly, but Cas looked unpleased. “What? Why you got a bug up your ass about this?”

“There is nothing up my ass,” Cas huffed. “Just many questions on my mind.”

“Liiiiike?” Dean raised his eyebrows as he watched Cas coddle Sam in his arms.

“How humans reproduce.”

“Damn it!” Dean shouted. Sam stopped sucking the bottle and looked at his brother briefly before gurgling a milky laugh. “Oh yeah, real funny.”

“What is so difficult about explaining this to me?” Cas asked.

“Because it’s a weird thing for a dude to talk to another dude about, okay?”

“I’m not a _dude_. I would prefer if you addressed me as—“

“An angel of The Lord, right, right I know and I’m sorry. It’s just weird. Trust me.”

“It appears to be human biology. What is _weird_ about human biology?”

Dean began to grow a bit testy, not to mention his cheeks flushed read behind the field of freckles. “Don’t you have somebody else you can ask!? Or something!?”

“I inquired with Bobby but he told me to ask you. He mentioned something about _fuckin’._ ”

Now Dean’s face turned even hotter and he looked away. “Don’t say that word, Cas.”

“Please explain the meaning of it and why I should not use it.”

“It doesn’t sound right when you do. You shouldn’t know that kinda stuff.” The guy kept his arms tightly folded and his vision locked in the opposite direction.

“Dean,” Cas said, sounding pretty calm. He set Sam down on the sofa, in the crook betwixt the armrest and the back cushion, then leaned over to Dean and lightly touched his arm. “Dean.” The man slowly turned his head back to the angel and looked in his eyes. “Please tell me?”

Dean’s lips wiggled a bit in difficult thought, then he wet them and blinked heavily a few times. His voice, while still gruff and gravelly, was reduced to a whisper. “People make kids by having sex.”

“What is sex?”

“Ugh,” Dean moaned. “Don’t you learn this stuff at some point?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“You’ve never watched a couple doing it? Never curious ‘bout what’s going on in the bedroom?”

“My curiosity is expanding but you still have not told me what this sex is and how one has it.”

“Uh, okay. Look. See,” Dean whipped out the crumpled up note in his front pocket and held it before him. Cas let off of his arm and took it. As the angel looked it over, Dean continued. “This is from a chick at the grocery store. She gave it to me ‘cause she wants to bo--- have sex with me. People have sex for making kids but they also have sex for fun.”

“Then you are having a lot of this sex,” Cas said, still reading the numbers over, then he peeked up at Dean again and wrinkled his forehead in worry. “Right?”

“Not as much as I want.”

“And what exactly is it?”

This sucked. Dean cracked his back and tried to settle into the sofa a bit more, looking for comfort in a very uncomfortable situation. Cas’ eyes wiggled expectantly.

“You may have noticed you have a dick,” Dean went on, feeling like an idiot as he spoke very clearly to hide his shame. Cas narrowed his eyes but before he could ask, the man interrupted. “The thing between your legs? The, ahem, dick and balls? You saw them on Sam, too, as much as I hate to say this.”

“I suppose I have noticed. Yes. Humans have very inconvenient extremities.”

“Riiight. Well chicks got other stuff down there.”

Cas blinked and looked off to the side. “They have more pieces, or simply a different kind?”

“Different kind. It’s like aaaa, uhhhh, it’s like aaaa I dunno. But it’s _awesome_. And the dick goes- Jesus Christ I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the dick goes inside the lady parts.”

“They merge?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“That makes sense,” Cas said. He sat up straight and retreated into his spot on the sofa once more. “Yes. That makes sense. Humans merge souls to create more. How very profound.”

“It’s not totally like that,” Dean said quickly.

“But wait,” Cas added. He narrowed his eyes once more at his friend. “Why do you merge souls so frequently? And with different women?”

“Because it feels great, man. You have no idea.”

“So the sex having is about pleasure? Or reproduction? Or…love?”

“Both? All? Just one? I don’t know. Come on, Cas. I told you what you wanted and I’m really, really done with this discussion now.”

“Fair enough,” Cas said, almost sighing. He picked Sam up again and held him in his lap. “Do you want to take your brother now?”

“I dunno. He seems to do alright with you.”


	4. Humans are Very Complex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas begins to get the hang of baby care and uses the experience to learn more about humans in general. Meanwhile Dean needs to hit the books, as much as he hates to, and try to figure a solution to get this nightmare over with before it all blows up.

 

“Where’s Sam when you need him,” Dean grumped behind a big leather-bound book. He sulked back into one of Bobby’s chair, behind Bobby’s cluttered desk, with an uncomfortable face; one that said “I hate reading and my brother should be doing this for me.”

“Here’s right here,” Cas responded in a very calm tone. As Dean flipped through boring page after boring page, the angel walked in slow circles with Sam in his arms. Clearly the baby enjoyed these motions.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure I do.”

“I mean I need normal Sam so he can do all this crap work for me.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas said quietly.

“Not your fault. But uh, you still don’t have any leads on how to fix it, right?”

“Correct.”

“Damn.”

Dean furrowed his brow and went back into the book. Findings on the Fountain of Youth were extremely scarce; it would seem that good old what’s his name was the first guy to officially find the thing. That is, provided it really was the fountain and not just some witchery set on a random basin. Either way it was extremely frustrating, not to mention the whole Sam being a baby thing was putting a crazy damper on their struggle to fend off the apocalypse.

“You know what?” Dean said out loud. Cas turned to the man and watched silently. “Maybe if Sam stays a baby, he can’t be used as Lucifer’s plaything?”

“It’s a possibility,” the angel said.

“Or, wait wait; what if I was also a baby? Then maybe we can’t play a role in this apocalypse shit at all?”

“Dean,” Cas said sternly, taking a few steps closer to the desk that the Winchester docked at. “Are you suggesting we raise another child?”

“UH,” Dean’s eyes sharply widened and he cocked his head to Cas. “Don’t say it like that.”

“What?”

“What you’re implying.” Dean struggled to say, gesturing his hands tensely before him. “Is that we are raising children together.”

“Sam is currently a child and we seem to be sharing the responsibility of his caretaker.”

“Yeah but we aren’t caring for him together.”

“What you are saying doesn’t make sense,” Cas argued. His voice grew slightly heated. “If you and I are giving Sam the care that he needs in his state, then we are caring for him together.”

“You don’t understand,” Dean muttered. “Just don’t say that.”

“Very well.”

The angel continued to make circles on Bobby’s floor, coddling Sam and rocking him gently. The baby tugged at Cas’ necktie with both hands as he closed his eyes slowly, being lulled to sleep. Dean grumpily continued to flip through the books, but he occasionally peered over the top and saw Cas handling his brother. He felt shitty on the inside because he couldn’t be that gentle with him. Losing control of Sam was so devastating, and right now Sam couldn’t even run away or make decisions for himself yet Dean was pretty much useless. Cas was taking care of him. Fucking Cas. Cas who doesn’t even understand the most basic concepts in life, like making friends or being in love. Or being friends and making love.

Research continued well into the night but Cas remained with Sam in his arms. The house creaked and cracked with Cas’ soft yet weighted footsteps, carrying the baby and doing his best to give Dean any additional help he needed. The Winchester baby did a good job at staying asleep for the first few hours, but somewhere around 11pm he woke up fussing loudly.

“Sam,” Cas said calmly to the child, who practically ignored him as his face turned red with unknown sadness. “What do you need?”

“He’s not talking, haven’t you figured that out already?” Dean grumped behind a glass of whiskey, still at Bobby’s little desk in the back of the room. He set it down loudly and replaced his hands with Common Folklore in Florida.

“I am aware,” Cas said to Dean. “But he occasionally hears me and I can receive a slight desire in his thoughts.”

“Yeah whatever.”

Now Cas picked up his head and glared at Dean. “I would assume you cared more about your brother than to say ‘whatever’ over his anguish.”

“He’s a baby,” Dean grouchily gurgled. “They cry, they fuss. It doesn’t mean he’s suffering and I have to save him.”

“But you still prefer to have me take care of him?”

“Because,” the man slouched in the wooden chair and sat back a little bit. He poured another shot of amber alcohol and downed it quickly. “Because I trust you to. And I’m crap at it.”

“But I am no more qualified to handle him than you are,” Cas explained as Sam continued to sniffle. He bounced him a few times but to no avail. “If you would only try, I’m sure you would find yourself a suitable caretaker as well.”

“You don’t understand,” Dean replied. “I just can’t handle it.”

Sam’s cries grew louder. Much louder. Infuriatingly loud. He started to scream and ball his tiny fists up.

“DAMN IT!” Dean shouted. He pushed himself out of the chair and charged to where Cas stood. His achy hands pulled the baby out of Cas’ grip and he held Sam close to his face. “SHUT UP, SAMMY! JUST SHUT UP!”

“Give me the baby, Dean.”

Sam cried more. Tears streamed down his cheek and his tiny voice wailed incessantly. The sound was so earsplitting and fucking painful that Dean could barely handle it. He needed to be studying, which he hated to do, and even worse he was studying all because of some stupid thing Sam did. Now Sam was ruining that. “DAMN IT TO HELL!” Dean screamed.

“Give me the baby!”

Cas whisked himself in the blink of an eye before Dean, took Sam, then popped up over in the kitchen. Dean kicked the floor hard then collapsed onto the sofa, tense and angry. In a soft voice Cas asked Sam, “Do you require food?”

Dean leaned against the cushions and rolled his head upwards. He stared at the ceiling, biting his lower lip in frustration. Babies were annoying as fuck but it didn’t change the fact that it was his brother. Something about that crying really set him off without thinking.

“I’m sorry,” Dean called out, then Cas immediately fluttered next to him on the sofa, holding a bottle into Sam’s mouth.

“Are you apologizing to me or Sam?”

“Both, I guess.”

“I forgive you, and I’m sure if Sam understood he would too.”

“Thanks,” Dean grumped. He closed his eyes and sighed quite loud.

“Do you require food?” Cas asked gently.

“He’s already eating.”

“I am asking you, Dean. Do you require food?”

“I’m fine.”

“But I detect some of your hostility is based on extreme hunger. It’s interesting,” Cas hummed to himself with a bit of humor. “I’m taking in a significant understand of adult human beings based on this baby. It appears to me that you all never truly grow up.”

Dean leered at Cas with his eyes narrow. “Right,” he huffed.

“I see,” Cas said.

“See what?”

The angel looked at Dean and held his brother out to him. “Please hold this for me,” he commanded with gentleness.

“Sure. He is my brother after all.” A nervous laugh ran through Dean’s voice as he took the baby back. He held the bottle up and watched Sam drink slowly. “Atta boy, Sammy.”

Sam finished off the bottle shortly thereafter and Dean set it down on a cluttered end table, then when he looked over to the rest of the sofa he noticed Cas was gone. A small sigh blew out of Dean’s nose as he lay down on the sofa, keeping Sam propped on his broad chest. The baby went to sleep right away, but Dean stared at the ceiling with his eyes wide open. Of course he wondered where Cas was, and of course he was starving. Oh well, he thought. The hunger pains seared and pinched at his tummy but he sat there and held Sam to his body anyway. His brother was comfortable like that and he couldn’t bring himself to really move. “We’ll fix you, Sammy,” he cooed as he turned to face the back of the sofa, keeping Sam propped between with his arms around him. It was a little difficult for Dean to move, but Sam fell into place easily and slept with a beautiful steadiness.

Then a quite swoosh and Cas returned. Dean kept his eyes fixed on the fabric of the sofa, not turning to look at or anywhere near the angel, and raised his index finger to his lips to keep him quiet. Then he pointed at the baby, hoping Cas would understand. A couple soft footsteps crackled besides the sofa and Dean felt Cas kneel down. The angel whispered, “This is for you.”

Dean looked over his shoulder and saw Cas’ face was just a few inches away. He startled on the inside but didn’t move, particularly since in the angel’s hand was a bag marked Macho Taco.

“Thanks but I’m not-“

“You are lying,” Cas said. He reached in the paper bag and pulled a slim wrapped up taco. Careful to be as quiet as possible, he peeled back the paper wrapping and held it out to Dean’s face. “Eat.”

“You’re not gonna feed me, Cas,” Dean grumped, rolling his eyes. He then pressed his lips together. “I have hands.”

“They are bound to Sam. You are being like the baby. You need to eat.”

“You’re not gonna feed me!” This time he was louder and Sam stirred. The little baby hand absentmindedly fingered a button on Dean’s jacket. The man glared down at Sam, eyes wide open, then back behind himself to Cas who still had the taco in his hand. Dean puffed out a ball of air and glanced side to side. “Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” he whispered.

“Who would I tell?” Cas asked. The taco advanced further to Dean’s face and he opened up for a bite. The processed cheese and mystery meat felt so good in his jaws. He kept eating. “Is it really so difficult?”

“No,” Dean said with a mouth full of taco. He smacked his lips and swallowed. “Really not. Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Cas insisted. He unwrapped the last taco and fed it to Dean. “Once you relax and get some sleep, the improvement of you mood will be thanks enough.”

“Whatever you say,” Dean mumbled. He chewed up the remainders of his dinner, then folded back into the nook of the sofa with his infant brother and promptly fell asleep.

~*~

Five hours was the most sleep Dean had gotten in a long time. In fact he couldn’t even remember the last time he had that much, and it felt great. It could have been a bit longer, but Sammy came to and started fussing. Dean rolled onto his back and groaned loudly, waking up just barely. “I think he needs a diaper change,” he grunted. No response. “Cas? Damn it.”

Fussy little Sam in arm, Dean got to his feet and slouched around through Bobby’s house. Over in the kitchen, Cas was propped up against a counter with a magazine in his hand.

“Home and Baby? Really?” Dean chortled as he looked at the reading material Cas was holding.

“What is the issue?” The angel peered innocently over the top of the magazine.

“Home and Baby?” Dean repeated.

“I inquired at a local magazine stand for something that would assist me in raising a child,” Cas said. (“I’m sure that went well” Dean thought immediately.) “They handed me this. And those.” He pointed to a stack of four other colorful magazines sitting upon the counter.

“Whatever,” Dean scoffed. “Maybe put your reading to some use and change Sam.”

“Yes, of course,” Cas nodded and put down Home and Baby, then took Sam from the older Winchester’s hands. He put Sam down on the table and went about his business while Dean looked away. He stepped over to the counter and paged through the stack of magazines. Today’s Toddler, Homelife, Baby Mom and Kitchen and…

“Cosmo? Seriously?” Dean chortled.

“I didn’t pick them out,” said Cas. He pressed the tabs of Sam’s clean diaper together then picked him up and walked back to Dean. “Is there a problem with the choices?”

“No-o,” Dean said, still laughing. He quickly saw a blip on the magazine cover that read, “How to keep your man happy every night.” A chill went down his spine and he quick flipped around to face Cas and Sam. “Great,” he said.

“These articles will help me understand this lifestyle better,” Cas explained. “And if I understand this better, I believe I can understand humans in general better.”

“Awesome,” Dean sighed. Rubbing his hands together and bringing a smile to his face, he suggested “Why don’t you bring Sam to the grocery story with me? So I can show him off to the babe I met last time?”

“You would take advantage of Sam’s unfortunate predicament to gain the popularity of a woman?” Cas asked.

“Sure would,” Dean said with a grin. “Didn’t you hear anything I told you yesterday?”

Cas was frustrated, but he didn’t quite understand what Dean was trying to do, so he just sighed as they shuffled off into Baby and went down to the grocery store. Sam sat in Cas’ lap, happily looking out of the window as they drove. Upon arriving at the store, Cas continued to carry the baby as Dean lead the way, searching for the girl he met before.

“Hey,” Dean called out. “Amber?”

The woman turned around quickly and smiled once she saw who it was. “Dean, right?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, relaxing his brawny shoulders. “I uh, want you to meet my baby brother.”

Then Cas stepped up and brandished the baby for Amber to see. “Aww!” she cooed. “He’s adorable! And who is this?”

“My friend, Cas,” Dean said quickly.

“I am an ang-“

“Just my friend,” he interrupted and Cas made an awkward face, still holding onto the wriggly Sam. “My uhh special friend.”

Amber froze. “Oh,” she said softly. A nervous smile grew on her face and Dean obliviously frowned.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I didn’t realize you were,” the female swallowed stiffly as her cheeks turned red. “I just didn’t realize you were, you know.”

“I was what?” Dean asked, furrowing his brow. Cas was just as confused.

“You and him,” Amber said, pointing to the both of them. “And the baby. I see. I’m sorry Dean. Sorry if I led you on.”

With a flustered jerking motion, Amber darted down the aisle and away from them, leaving Dean even grumpier than before. He suddenly realized what she thought.

“God damn it,” he sneered.

“I don’t understand,” Cas said, looking at Sam. “What bothered that young lady so much?”

Dean leaned in close to Cas and hissed, “she thinks we’re a couple.”

“A couple?” Cas asked loudly and Dean winced for him to be quieter.

“You know, a couple,” he whispered angrily.

“A couple would be two people. Any bystander would assume that is what we are.”

“No, no,” Dean groaned. “A couple! Like a family! Like a mom and a dad raising the kid!”

“Neither of us are Sam’s parents,” Cas explained. “How can that be assumed?”

“Fuck!” Dean shouted. Some shoppers started to slow down and observe them, and Dean promptly snatched Cas by the arm and dragged him from the store. Walking back to Baby, Dean continued to explain. “You don’t always need to be the actual blood parents to be like parents.”

“What does that mean?”

“Okay, okay. I hate talking about this but listen; you know how a man and a woman get jiggy with it to make a child?”

“In relation to the last conversation that made you tense in this manner? Yes. I recall.”

“Sometimes,” Dean winced sharply. “Sometimes two men or two women do the same thing.”

“Is that physically possible?”

“They can’t make kids but they can still, you-know-what, and then they take care of the kid like it’s theirs.”

Cas shook his head. “Humans are very complex.” They got back in the car and started to go back to Bobby’s. “Then this Amber woman from the store, she thought we were two men raising a child?”

“Yeah basically,” Dean said as he stared at the road unfolding before them. The whole excursion had been a disaster. Inside he was embarrassed.

“But that is sort of what we are, isn’t it?”

“Not like that,” Dean huffed. “We’re just two people that happen to be taking care of a kid who happens to be my brother, caught in stupid magical spell bullshit.”

“What is the difference?”

“Two people raising a kid together do it ‘cause they, well, they-- l-love each other,” Dean stuttered at the words, afraid they might rot his teeth.

“Love,” Cas whispered.

“They have affection for each other and they do the stuff in the sack as like uh, like an act of love. Some people like having sex because they care about each other.”

Cas’ eyes opened wide now. He nodded slowly. “Humans are very complex,” he stated. Sam tugged at his necktie and put it into his mouth.

“It’s just how we are,” Dean said shortly. “But I’m not into that. I just do the nasty because it feels good.”


	5. Gender's a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of his reading begins to pay off, and Cas is convinced he's figured out how to keep humans, infantile and adult, happy. But it gets a little awkward when he realizes how to express his feelings for Dean.

 

The rest of the ride home was silent, save for Sam’s occasional gargles and grumbles. Once they made it and back inside the house, Cas took Sam to the study, sat down on the sofa and quietly said, “I’m sorry.”

“’Bout what?” asked Dean. It was unfortunately time for him to resume his attempt at research and possibly give Bobby a ring.

“Ruining your chance to express feelings for that woman,” said Cas.

“It’s not expressing feelings.”

“Then…?”

“Just getting rocks off. I _told_ you. Some people have sex because they love each other or whatever, other people do it with strangers because it’s fun and totally awesome.” Dean smugly pulled a book up to his face and started to do what he called “reading.” Cas on the other hand stared down at Sam with a bit of a frown. The house was so quiet.

“Then all of these women,” he stated. “They have all been for _fun_?”

“Eeeeyep.”

“How does the woman feel about that?”

“Cas, I don’t know,” now Dean slammed the book shut and pressed his eyes together in frustration. “I’m not a woman, I can’t answer this stuff. But I guess since they’re cool with it, they like it as much as I do.” He poured himself a large shot of alcohol and took it one sip.

“If I understand correctly, your soul has gone inside them all.”

“I _guess_.”

“Then it must have a profound impact on them,” Cas said.

“Try not to worry about this, okay?” Dean said with a sigh and poured another shot.

“I am trying but it is difficult.”

“Try harder. I’m gonna call Bobby.” Cas stood up and carried Sam to the kitchen while Dean dialed out to his surrogate father. “Yeah, hey Bobby, how’s it going?”

The angel listened a bit to the conversation as he prepped a bottle for Sam. Things were really coming together in the baby department. What first seemed so impossible now made a lot of sense to him and he even enjoyed it. Baby Sam was almost nicer than adult Sam. Sure there was the fussing and the shitty diapers, but it was a refreshing break from the usual. The aspect of particular interest to Cas, in regards to babies, was how their needs were so basic and yet extreme, though easy to remedy once the pattern was discovered. They would throw such large tantrums; desperate cries that likened to a deathly plea. But all they needed was a bit of comfort or something to eat. Then by that same token, provided adult humans never change much, grown-ups like Dean would operate on the same system.

Cas looked around the corner of the threshold and watched Dean as he spoke with Bobby on the phone. He was grumpy, tired, and miserable looking. “Would be nice if you could tell me where you are,” Dean groaned and made an angry face. Cas stared down at Sam in his arms, who was happily feeding on his bottle without a care in the world. To humans, food meant comfort and happiness, and Cas’ goal suddenly became clear.

With Sam in one hand, the angel went to his stack of magazines and starting flipping through them with one thing in mind; recipes. If he could figure out the dynamic of raising a child, he could absolutely learn how to cook. Since food did not have appealing qualities to him, Cas picked out the first one he saw and tagged it’s place in the magazine. Then he went back to the study and held Sam out to Dean.

“Please watch him for me,” he said.

“Wait, why?” Dean asked. He was off the phone now and back to the books, taking down a few annotations. It seemed it got sidetracked with the apocalypse shit again.

“I need to go for a brief moment and I believe Sam will only get in the way.”

“Uh, alright. Sure. Come here, Sammy.” Dean took his brother from the angel and put him into his lap. “Cas taking good care of you? Huh? God I sound like a moron.”

It didn’t take very long and Cas returned. He had a few things in his arms but Dean didn’t manage to see what they were.

“It would be beneficial to me if you could watch Sam for slightly longer,” the angel called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah that’s fine. I mean he’s my brother after all.”

“Yes.”

Dean rolled his eyes and went back to a papyrus in front of him. Sam put his hands on the desk and started to slap at it.

“Whatcha think, Sam? You wanna figure this crap out for me?” the older brother laughed and Sam giggled as well.

Eventually the baby fell asleep in Dean’s arms, but he continued to plow through books. Some time passed and then there was a smell in the air. A good smell.

“Hey Cas? What are you doing?”

“Important tasks,” was all the angel replied. Something clattered.

“Are you…” Dean slowly rose up from the chair, holding Sam close but careful not to wake him, and stepped over to the kitchen. There he saw Cas moving about the counters with a strange, urgent swiftness. “Dude are you…”

“I have prepared a meal for you,” Cas said, turning around quickly. He held out a plate with some sort of noodle thing on it. “It is called a tuna bake, I believe.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “You _cooked_?”

“Compared to the recent tasks I have accomplished I would say this is the least astounding. Clearly humans spend their entire lives cooking and this is only my first attempt.”

“Uhh, uhh, thank you?!” Dean didn’t know what to say. First he got sleep, now he’s being fed homemade meals? The last time he experienced anything like that was with…

He sucked in a sharp breath of air and held it for a moment, trying to keep the feelings away. Cas was just trying to be nice, he didn’t want to fill Dean with bitter nostalgia.

“Is everything okay?” Cas asked, still holding the plate of food out to Dean.

“Y-yeah,” he swallowed. “Could you uh, take Sam for a little bit?”

“Yes.”

They swapped out the baby for the food and Dean took it to the table. He sat quietly and started to eat. “Oh man,” he cried out. “This is _awesome_. Jesus Christ, Cas. How’d you make it so good?”

“I followed the recipe exactly and nothing more,” the angel stated. He took Sam out of the kitchen and started to make some noise in the study. Dean wondered for a moment, then shrugged it off and kept eating happily.

“You should’ve tried cooking way before.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Yeah.”

“I appreciate your sentiments, Dean.”

Something slid, shifted, clonked and clinked. Now Dean’s attention was set on it. He finished up the food then went into the study, only to find that Cas had set chairs, pieces of wood and even a bit of chicken wire fencing up in a square to fit Sam inside.

“This is similar to a bed,” Cas said as he tossed a few blankets into it, then put Sam in the middle. “It is secure enough to hold him inside. But I will still monitor him constantly.”

“You don’t have to watch him constantly,” Dean said. “I can look after him you know.”

“But you also need to sleep.”

“Cas, I run my life on 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night. It’s nothing new.”

“Yes but _Home and Baby_ suggests that both parents take steps to ensure more sleep than usual.”

“We aren’t parents,” Dean insisted. “So it doesn’t matter.”

“You have been more hostile than usual,” Cas explained, walking away from the makeshift crib. “I have just fed you and now I believe you should sleep. The dynamic of a baby is little different than an adult.”

“I know, I know. You already told me that.”

“Dean.”

“What?!”

“I strongly encourage you to sleep, even if it’s only a few hours. I am positive it will improve your mood.”

“My mood is fine!” Dean snapped. His chest filled with air and he stared at Cas who simply responded with, “please sleep” in a tiny, quiet voice.

The angel inevitably won, as he was correct and Dean did need sleep. He needed more than usual since having a baby around was so different and stress-inducing that it really did make him grumpier (which Cas found out _was_ actually possible).

So the man stretched out on the sofa and caught a couple winks while Cas stood watch over Sam. At one point the baby stirred and had to be fed, but once he was full he went back into the shoddy crib and fell asleep once more. Cas took advantage of the downtime to get back to his _literature_.

“Ummff…” Dean groaned in his sleep. His weight shifted up to his shoulders and he arced his back in a stretch, sighing loudly. Sleep felt so good. It was inviting and warm and comfortable. But the happy tranquility was broken when a certain angel whispered in his ear, “Dean.”

“Huh? Wha?” the man shot awake and opened his eyes wide, only to see Cas staring down at him. “What’re you doing?”

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah I guess,” Dean rubbed his eyes and yawned. “As comfortable as I can be with you hanging over me like that.”

“Are you enjoying the sleep?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Do you need anything else?”

“What is this, 20 questions? Since when are you so concerned about how I feel?”

“I always have been, but these magazines are teaching me how to express it better. I am learning to harness my emotions and channel them into their physical equivalents.”

“Oh. That’s good I guess, right?”

Cas nodded slowly, still staring at Dean very seriously. Then he reached out and lightly cupped his hand around the crotch of Dean’s pants.

“WOAH! CAS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” Dean suddenly jumped and stared at the angel with nervous, wide eyes.

“I am expressing my feelings for you,” he answered very plainly, rubbing the fly in slow circles. “Is this bad?”

“Do you realize what you’re doing!?” Dean huffed as his heart began to race.

“I believe the goal is called _performing fellatio.”_

“No! No no! You’re not gonna suck my dick!” Dean cried out. Funny though, he didn’t move away from Cas’ hand.

“You don’t want this?” Cas asked sadly. His shoulders dropped and he looked very disappointed. “Dean, I have told you we share a profound bond. Now I have a physical expression of this bond. I have learned how to communicate my feelings to you in a human way.”

“Cas! Stop!” Dean whined.

“What’s the problem?” The angel’s hand withdrew from Dean’s body. “Do you…not share these feelings?”

“I, I,” he stuttered, looking desperate as his eyes searched around the room, always avoiding Cas. The angel stood up and stared down at him sadly.

“I don’t understand,” he said. “You will find women whom you do not even know, and you will merge souls with them with no intention of reproduction or love; strictly pleasure. Yet you deny me the ability to show my true feelings for you?”

“It’s not like that,” Dean said. “Cas, come on. You don’t understand.”

“I’m giving you everything, Dean,” the angel frowned. “I am willing to give you more. Since I pulled you from perdition I have been searching, yearning for a way to express the sensation I hold within myself for you. I have found it but now you deny me.”

“Cas,” Dean sighed. He got up from the sofa and walked behind the angel. With a “I can’t believe I’m going to say this” roll of his eyes and slumping of his back, he continued; “It’s not that easy. See, I’m a guy and you’re uhh, you’re physically a guy. You’re basically a guy. You aren’t a girl.”

The angel turned his head around and stared at Dean. “What is the issue?”

“I’m a dude and I like _chicks_. I don’t like dudes.”

“If I had chosen a female as my vessel, then you would allow me to perform fellatio?”

“Well, yeah,” as the words came out of Dean’s mouth, he actually felt like an idiot for once. The logic was dumb.

“You are less intelligent than I originally thought,” Cas stated and Dean frowned sadly. “If a person truly loved you yet they were male, you would deny them the chance to be a, what did you call it? A couple? Strictly on the premise of their genetic makeup?”

“I guess,” Dean said quietly, looking down.

“Forgive me if I do not see gender,” Cas huffed. “Forgive me if I see you as a beautiful soul that I care about.”

“Cas, I’m sorr—“ But Dean fixed his eyes upwards and Cas was gone.


	6. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tries to get some perspective on his feelings for Dean, but he just gets angrier and more confused. Will Dean finally understand what the profound bond is about?

“I don’t understand men.”

“…come again?”

“Men. I don’t understand them.”

The bartender, a nice looking middle-aged woman, leaned over the counter and got real close to Cas. “Honey, if I didn’t know better I’d say you _were_ a man.”

“Right. Of course.” Cas blinked into his empty glass. “It is other men that I don’t understand. May I bother you with a question?”

Now she replenished his drink and put her hands on her hips. “You can bother me with as many questions as you want.”

“Is there such a thing as true love; you understand this concept, correct? Two beings that were destined to thrive together?”

“Oh, darlin’. That’s the million dollar question.”

“I don’t understand.” The angel took a sip of alcohol and stared up at the bartender, who smiled back behind dark lipstick.

“People think they’re meant to be. People fall in love, fall out of love. Life’s a real pickle like that.”

“Pickle…?”

“You’re a literal sort of guy, ain’tcha?”

“I suppose I am.”

“So what exactly happened to you?”

“There is a man that I am convinced my destiny lies with. At least, this portion of my existence shall comingle with his. Yet,” Cas winced as if the words physically hurt him. “He seems to reject this truth because I resemble a man and he is also one.”

“Resemble a man? Babe, you _are_ a man, ain’tcha?”

“R-right. Of course. We are both men and he has shown that this makes him uncomfortable. Yet…I know there is a great bond between us.”

“That’s certainly a problem,” the bartender said. “And I’m afraid I can’t help you out too much with it. If a guy ain’t gay, he ain’t gay.”

“Gay?”

“Two fellas likin’ each other. It’s called gay. You didn’t know that, didja?” She shot a strange look at him that was somewhere between confused and amused.

Cas shook his head. “I am positive that there is a significant connection between the two of us. I wish nothing more for him to see this, too. I sense that he understands in his heart, but his ego currently overrides the truth.”

“Big words, babe.”

The angel looked at her very seriously, as usual, but his eyes welled up large. “How can I show him?”

“Oh honey, you can’t convince anybody that sorta thing. If it’s gonna happen it’s gonna happen, but you really can’t force it.”

“I see.”

“That good enough for ya?”

“No, it does not suffice. But I appreciate the attempt.”

“Heh, sure thing. You ready for the check now?” She quick-flipped to the register and turned around with a piece of paper in her hand, but Cas had already vanished. “What in the heck?”

* * *

Dean paced across the study with Sam in his arms. His face was scrunched up with worry as his feet moved back and forth. “What are we gonna do, Sammy?” he muttered to himself, sighing heavily. The floor creaked lazily with each step but Sam held onto his chest happily. Aside from Dean’s breathing and the occasional coo from Sam, Bobby’s entire house was silent.

So Dean had even more on his plate now; bringing Sam back to his real age, solving the Michael-Lucifer-Apocalypse conundrum, and Cas. Cas was a problem, but Dean couldn’t help wonder if he was partially at fault as well. What was up with this profound bond? Cas had eluded to it numerous times but now he seemed determined to make it about, well, love. Was Cas trying to confess his undying love for Dean? It was a rather unusual way to go about it but then again Cas was rather unusual. Dean tried to see what human life would be like through the eyes of an angel, and for what it was worth it _would_ be difficult to translate love, sex and all that other shit into non-human terms. Carnal desire was likely a human-based thing. Dean started to feel bad for Cas, but he also considered that he might be onto something; Cas of course would know more than Dean, so if he recognized some sort of love between the two of them, who was Dean to say he was wrong?

“Damn it, Cas.”

He kept pacing while holding Sam securely against him. His thoughts were starting to buckle, loop over each other and get seriously complicated. Through the craziness and horror of his Hell memories, he wanted to remember actually meeting Cas. What happened then? Were there any feelings he had left out? It was impossible; fleeting. Perhaps the memory would never return (naturally the bad ones stuck around consistently).

Then a quiet fluttering behind Dean and he knew that Cas had come back. Without looking, the man said, “Where were you?”

“Seeking answers I could not find,” Cas said quietly. Dean looked over his shoulder at the angel and frowned. Sam started to whimper.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” Dean mumbled grumpily.

“I forgive you,” answered Cas. “Perhaps I was wrong to assume you would make lifestyle choices, simply because of a silly little thing like destiny.”

“Jeez Cas, when you say it like that it pins me to be the bad guy.”

“No, I claim all responsibility. But we must put aside this argument and consider the reality at hand.”

“What d’you mean?” Now Sam began to cry, clutching at Dean’s jacket in desperation.

“We must continue taking care of Sam and we must solve this issue quickly. Why is he crying?”

“I dunno, ‘cause he’s a baby?” Dean went to the sofa and plopped down, keeping Sam supported on his thigh. Cas followed and sat beside him.

“Has he eaten?” the angel asked.

“No.”

“Why haven’t you fed him? I read that babies have relatively consistent schedules. He is due for another feeding.”

“Well then _you_ can feed him,” Dean groaned and shoved the baby over to Cas.

“But he is _your_ brother,” Cas snapped, suddenly sounding a bit brash. “You have assumed responsibility over his life and yet you are incapable of providing minimal care.”

“Wooaaah, hold on there man. I never wanted him like this. It was an accident. You think it’s fun for me?”

“It is not fun for me either,” Cas quipped and took Sam securely in his arms. He popped away and reappeared in the kitchen while Dean remained on the sofa, rolling his eyes.

“You’re just being a little bitch about it since you won’t stop reading those stupid magazines.”

“Excuse me?” Cas asked. He began to fix a bottle for Sam then pressed it into his mouth.

“The magazines! They’re garbage! You aren’t a housewife, you’re a fucking angel. An angel stuck in some messed up sense of responsibility.”

Cas didn’t answer. He remained in the kitchen, feeding Sam quietly as Dean came to his feet and fixed himself a generous glass of whiskey. He took a sip and bared his teeth. “Silent treatment now, eh?” Dean said.

“I am not treating anything,” Cas replied stiffly. He appeared on the sofa now, rocking Sam just a little while he finished up the bottle. Dean set his glass down and stared at the angel with a little flare of hostility on his face. Cas looked at him. “What?”

“I don’t get you,” Dean said.

“No mortal is capable of that. I am not surprised.”

“Uggggh.”

“What is the problem, Dean? Please talk to me. It is…important to talk about your feelings. How does it make you feel?”

“You’re copying shit right out of the magazine,” Dean groaned.

“Perhaps. But there must be something positive within them as they are highly successful.”

“Yeah, it’s called pure, un-granulated bullcrap,” Dean rolled his eyes once more and kept nursing his glass of whiskey.

“You are very difficult,” Cas said plainly.

“Thanks. I definitely see how much you love me.”

Cas paused. He stared at Dean deeply. “What?”

“You’ve basically been trying to say you love me, right?” Dean winced.

The angel didn’t respond. He looked back down at Sam and removed the now empty bottle, set it to the side then held the baby close.

“Hit the nail on the head, huh?” Dean chortled.

“It’s funny to you,” Cas muttered.

“No.”

“I sense humor in your voice.” Cas suddenly stood up and put Sam down in the crib he made. He folded his arms and looked down.

“God damn it Cas, why are you being such a fucking crybaby? When did this happen? The fuck changed?”

“I’ve learned more about human emotions, that is what changed,” Cas said sternly. His body tensed but remained staring at the floor with a blank face. “I have finally come to terms with my affection for you and yet you _turn me down_. I am confident that destiny plays a great role in this and yet you _turn me down_.”

Papers on Bobby’s desk rustled. A small, bitter wind blew through the room and Dean stood his ground. He swallowed tightly. “Uh, Cas?”

“I saved you,” the angel continued. Every lamp in the room began to flicker. “Out of the goodness of my spirit. I did everything to raise you. I have sacrificed much and I sense I will sacrifice even more, all for you. You are special to me, Dean, but because you are _so arrogant and selfish_ you will not accept our fate. You refuse to acknowledge my affection because I happened to choose a male body as my vessel. I wish I could hate you for your ignorance, but my will to care about you is so overwhelming it prevents me.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “You want to hate me but you can’t?”

“Currently I hold no room for negative feelings towards you.”

The room settled down and the lamps remained steady, but there was still a thickness in the air that felt bad. It was sour. Scary, almost. Dean stepped forward a few times and came right up behind Cas. “There really is something here, huh?”

“I am positive of it,” Cas said in a quiet voice. “There is little other explanation.”

Slowly, Dean reached out towards Cas’ back and laid his hands upon each shoulder. The angel’s body relaxed. He turned around. He looked Dean in the eyes. “There is something about the infantile Sam that brings different feelings within me,” Cas said softly.

“Like what?”

“I can’t find the words to explain.”

Dean swallowed. His chest heaved heavily with solid, slow breaths. This was weird but it also felt right. Maybe he knew all along that their interaction would eventually build to this moment.

“Can you find movements or something?” Dean asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Anything uh, physical? Something you can _do_ instead of _say_ that captures how you’re feeling?”

Cas didn’t respond. He kept his eyes fixed on Dean, staring with that same, serious face as usual. But then he slowly leaned in and laid his lips upon Dean’s. Their closed mouths touched with a sweet, quiet tenderness that was so desperately wanton it seemed it would never really happen. But they were there now and it felt good. Despite the outward discomfort of kissing a man, Dean’s heart felt warm. There was a true happiness to be found within that tiny kiss, and _that_ was the feeling of Cas raising him from perdition.

Dean didn’t move much and when Cas pulled back, just an inch or so, he looked at the angel seriously. “That?” Dean asked and Cas nodded. “That’s what your body drives you to do?”

“I-I don’t know,” Cas whispered. His eyes narrowed and a bit of redness appeared in his cheeks. “There is a desire to perform things but I cannot grasp what such things are.”

“I get it,” Dean said, nodding a bit. His body rocked nervously. As he looked upon Cas, he saw more than just an angel in a scruffy meat suit; he actually saw something sort of, well, beautiful. There was this sparkling innocence in Cas’ ocean blue eyes that Dean never noticed before, but as he quickly chewed his thought process over (in that weird way you can have a million thoughts all condensed into a few moments) it occurred to him that maybe it was always there, but this stupid act of being the “big man” prevented him from seeing it. He felt this inside him since he came back from Hell and had been seeking it ever since. It seemed funny that it was there the whole time. Wow, Dean _had_ been arrogant.

“You do?” Cas asked.

“Oh, Cas,” Dean sighed suddenly. He gripped his fingers tightly into the angel’s shoulders and backed him against the wall with a _thud_. Cas didn’t resist but his movement was stiff and awkward, as expected.

Dean forcibly smacked his lips over Cas’ and kissed him hotly. His hands ran underneath the tan trench coat and slowly slipped it off so that it crumbled upon the ground. The kissing continued, led by Dean, but Cas did his best to respond. His arms clumsily reached up and wound around Dean’s shoulders, holding lightly in a very preteen sort of way. Their bodies touched and pressed against each other’s like coming home. Really, like coming home. Then Dean pulled his mouth away and stared back at the angel, panting a bit. A big boner grew within his jeans and prodded against Cas.

“Damn it, Cas,” Dean whispered.

“Why are you damning me?” the angel replied in a hushed tone. His arms remained locked around Dean’s shoulders and his body wiggled a bit with shaky breathing.

“This feels wrong.”

“The sensation is quite acceptable to me. What aspect feels wrong to you?”

“You’re a dude.” Reality overwhelmed him but Dean’s ego still fought to prove he was straight.

“I am not actually ‘a dude,’ Dean; I don’t have gender. Do you love me regardless?”

“What?” Dean’s eyes narrowed. “Why would you think that? I said I thought _you_ loved me, I never said I did. I never even suggested that.”

“When your tongue reached inside my mouth,” Cas explained, making the kiss sound as unappealing as possible. “I felt your soul. It touched me and it said that you love me.”


	7. Do Angels have Orgasms?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean realizes how badly he wants Cas. They begin to indulge these feelings, but once Bobby gives them a tip on helping Sam, they're back on the road. That won't stop them from experimenting, though; and Dean really wants to know how to get Cas off.

 

Dean did not recall ever putting that _L-word_ to Cas’ name. Not consciously, at least. “Do we have to talk about this?” he stuttered.

“It’s not required, but neglecting how you truly feel can’t be healthy.”

“Yeah well,” Dean moved back from the angel and relaxed his shoulders. There was still some shame inside, even though Cas was totally right. “Whatever.”

“Whatever? That’s really all you can say?”

“What am I supposed to?”

Cas frowned and stepped closer to Dean once again. He reached down to the man’s pants and lightly touched the bulge beneath his fly. “Is this ‘whatever’?”

“It’s a boner.”

“I thought human males didn’t have bones there.”

“Not really a bone, just what they call it. It’s a hardon.”

“This is a sign of love?”

“It’s a sign of arousal. Love’s got nothing to do with it.”

“Dean.” Cas stared up at the man with sad twinkles in his eyes but Dean looked away. “I heard you. I sensed it. You said that you love me. You remembered the moment I pulled you from perdition. Do not pretend I am unaware.” Dean sighed but remained silent, still refusing to look Cas in the eyes. “It felt right. It felt as if you were finally returning home. Is that correct?”

“Y-yeah,” Dean said softly.

“Then why do you continue to shun the truth? Your soul yearns for ego’s acceptance.”

“I don’t know what the fuck that means,” Dean grouched.

“It means you are lying to yourself,” said Cas. His hand went from Dean’s pants up to his face, where he lightly touched the man’s cheek. It was clear to Dean that Cas was actually showing signs of nervousness. The very touch made him shy and that caused Dean to come to a sudden realization.

“Cas?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

Finally Dean’s eyes fell back to the angel. The green globes wiggled with a soft intensity which was usually reserved for reminiscing over his father or having a falling out with Sam. Cas knew this and he appreciate it.

“You’re having a fight inside too, huh?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” the angel said quietly. “That is true. I have been harboring these strong feelings for you yet I am unsure of how to express them. Now I have some guidance but it still gives me, I’m not sure how to call it; nervousness?”

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Dean said. If he treated it like he was Cas’ first crush, which he seemed to be, it put it all into perspective. “It’s okay.”

“When our lips touch, this is a sign of affection?”

“Yeah.”

“Then we will do this again.” Now the angel closed his eyes and leaned into Dean once more. Still he didn’t move much, but Dean held the ropes and sucked Cas’ mouth hotly. Touching him like that made a switch inside Dean flip; once contact was established he suddenly wanted Cas and nothing more.

“I need something,” Cas cried out after he moved back just a bit.

“What? What is it?” Dean whispered.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Um. What does it feel like?”

The angel started to breath heavily. His hands grasped Dean’s shoulders tightly and he pulled him close, staring. “It feels like we need to move fast. Something is aching within my vessel and it needs, oh, it needs to be _scratched_ I think.”

“You need sex?” Dean suggested, raising his eyebrows.

“I don’t know. How is it possible? Males and females engage in these acts with penetration of the penis into the vagina, if I’m not mistaken. But we both possess penises and neither vaginas.”

“I never thought sex could sound so _un_ -sexy,” Dean groaned. “But uh, you know two men can do it.”

“How? Please tell me how!” A sudden sense of urgency grasped Cas as he hooked Dean closer. So many emotions and feelings welled up within him yet he was completely ignorant as to what they were and how to manage them.

“You ummm,” now Dean started to blush. He never, _ever_ thought this sort of conversation would come up between the two of them, let alone anybody! “The dick goes into the butt.”

“The butt? You mean this depository hole at the end of the intestines? _That_ is a portal for intercourse?”

“You gotta talk about it like that? Jesus.”

 _“_ What am I supposed to say?”

“I dunno. But uh, yeah. Dick in butt makes sense. It doesn’t make kids but it definitely makes sex.”

Hunger flushed over Cas’ face as he grew hot, intense. He leaned just a few centimeters away from Dean’s lips and begged, “Then do this. Make the sex with me, Dean.”

“Right here? Right now!?”

“Please,” the angel whined. His body quivered.

“Okay uh, go over to the sofa.” Dean was also pretty nervous. The more he touched Cas the less he could deny that desire to fuck him.

In a flash, they disappeared and came back on the sofa, so that Cas was lying on his back and Dean was on top. The angel spread his legs but looked confused. “You will have to help me as I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s fine. Here, um, just…”

Dean bit down on his lower lip as he unbuttoned, unzipped and finally pulled down Cas’ pants. At first it was a little painful to see the genitals since Dean always considered penises to be closer to the unattractive side of things, but once he adjusted his eyes to really see Cas through it all, the vessel became appealing. Even the dark nest of hair that peppered the whole area seemed inviting.

“Okay, just, well, you need to lu-“

“I don’t care,” Cas barked urgently. “Just insert yourself. I need this. We need this.”

“But-“

“Please Dean, please.”

“Well alright.”

Dean unleashed his serpent from the front of his jeans and pressed it against Cas’ hole. It seemed impossibly tight. “I’m not one to judge personal taste and whatnot,” Dean mumbled. “But it’s really supposed to be lubed up.”

“Or else what?” Cas asked. His chest heaved violently with desperate, needy breaths. It was amazing to see the angel in such a state.

“Or else it’s really gonna hurt.”

“It does not hurt me. Please just make the sex. Please.”

“Don’t say ‘make the sex,’ okay?”

“It doesn’t matter. You are aware of what must happen. Please do this. _Please_.”

Dean inhaled deeply and began to push himself inside. Cas showed no signs of pain, instead he rolled his head back, closing his eyes real tight and groaned.

“Oh! This is, this is incredible! Dean!” Cas cried out loudly. His body shook violently as Dean started to thrust his cock, working his abs with a slow, hard, rhythm. “Th-this is what humans experience? Like this?”

“Yeah,” Dean moaned. Once he was fully inside the angel he leaned down so that their chests pressed together. His hands cupped Cas’ face and he kissed him several times, knowing that Cas would be able to read all of his thoughts. They were pretty much beyond the point of holding things back. Yes, Dean; finally beyond the point of holding things back (tsk tsk).

“Increase the velocity!” Cas cried. “I believe we will both benefit from this! Oh!”

“Damn,” Dean cursed as he fucked the angel harder. Huffing and sweating against the crook of Cas’ neck, he moaned deeply.

“D-Dean,” Cas groaned. “I have never experienced such intense sensations. Your penis is of a substantial size, and the g-girth is magnificently satisfying.”

“Cas?” Dean huffed.

“Y-yes?”

“Shut up.”

The angel resorted to moans and cries instead of words, even though he didn’t understand what the problem was. But Dean’s will was Dean’s will and he agreed regardless. The huffing, straining, sweating and grinding continued for a brief period until Dean suddenly sensed an impending orgasm.

“Are you going to cum?” Dean groaned. Beads of sweat splattered onto the angel’s face.

“I-I don’t know. Where is that?”

“Ugh,” the man grumbled. “Orgasm. Are you gonna orgasm? I’m really close, don’t think I can—unf--hold back much longer.”

“What is orgasm?”

“Damn it!”

Despite his best efforts, Dean tensed up and unleashed a massive load deep within Cas. His back stiffened and he collapsed into Cas’ neck, groaning something fierce.

“What happened?” Cas asked, sounding a little bit concerned.

“It was—ugh—an orgasm. I—ugh—climaxed.” Dean did his best to catch his breath as his cock deflated. His heavy body laid upon Cas, heaving and huffing with great shakes.

“What is that? It has left many small pieces of you inside of me.”

“It’s sorta the point of sex. You go at it until you cum. Then it feels seriously awesome and then you sleep. Are you saying you can’t cum?”

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Dean sat up and looked their bodies over. Lo and behold, Cas had shot a load out. There was a fine opaque rope of cum against the strip of stomach bared by his crumpled shirt.

“Dude,” Dean said. “You _did_. You came. You had one. Didn’t you feel it?”

Cas shook his head. “I noticed nothing special.”

“That’s so fucking sad,” Dean said. He shakily got off of Cas and stood on both feet. “So what good is sex for you?”

“I don’t know.”

Before Dean could analyze angel sexuality any further, his phone went off. It rang and it woke up Sam, starting him off with a sudden bout of tears.

“Ahh shit,” Dean cursed and took his phone out. “It’s Bobby. Can you do something with Sam? And put your pants back on.”

“Yes.” Cas nodded and sat up, got dressed then went to the crib to tend to Sam. He picked him up and tried to rock him back to sleep.

“Hey Bobby,” Dean said into the phone.

“ _You alright, boy?_ ”

“Yeah why?”

“ _Y’sound a little outta breath._ ”

“I uh, left my phone in the kitchen so I had to run to get it.”

“ _You’re in terrible shape_ ,” Bobby grunted. “ _But listen, I think I got a lead on how ta fix Sam’s problem._ ”

“Oh yeah?”

“ _There’s a guy who might know a cure fer it. And lucky you, he’s local. Probly take ya an hour ‘r two ta git there._ ”

“Awesome. You got the address?”

Cas listened to the phone call as he prepared a bottle for Sam. A conflicting emotion inside he said he preferred Sam as a baby, yet destiny would call for the reversal of the spell. He put the nipple into Sam’s mouth and the baby began to drink.

“Cool. Thanks, Bobby. I’ll talk to you later.” Dean hung up the phone then went to the kitchen to see how Cas and Sammy were doing. “How is he?”

“Sam?”

“Yeah duh.”

“I believe he is hungry but that is all. Bobby has found someone to aid us with this problem?”

“Yeah, and we gotta head out real soon. I can’t handle this much longer.”

“Of course. Are you also requiring food?”

“Cas, I’m always ‘requiring food.’” Dean laughed and went over to his pile of crap to get ready. He packed the usual necessities and slung his duffle bag over his shoulder. “Alright let’s—Damn it!” Cas was gone. But then he came back right away and he had a bag in his opposite hand.

“I didn’t have time to cook so I brought this for you,” the angel said and forced the bag onto Dean.

“Er, thanks,” Dean said. He snatched it away and looked inside. There were two burgers and a big box of fries. “Oo, double thanks. But now we gotta go.”

* * *

“Son of a bitch. Where is this guy?” Dean groaned as the two and a half men stood before the door. They had an easy drive out there, but now, no dice. It was cool out and the rickety porch creaked under their feet. Dean knocked again but still no answer.

“He isn’t home,” Cas stated.

“Yeah no shit. Ahh fuck.” This was disappointing because it took almost three hours to get there, and they really needed Sam to get fixed soon.

“Dean?”

“What.”

“Dean, I am having an issue.”

“What’s wrong?”

Cas looked more awkward than usual. He shifted the baby in his arms, leaned close to Dean and said, “I am having a boner for you right now.”

“I’m not surprised. If you can’t experience an orgasm, are you ever gonna be satisfied?”

“Dean,” Cas said. “Dean please. I need something.”

“Ugh. What do you need?” Dean put his hands in his pockets and turned away from the empty house.

“I need to, what did you call it again?”

“Have sex?”

“Yes. I need to have sex with you.”

“Okay, I tell you what; let’s nab a motel close to here and stake it out all night so when this dude show’s up we’ll be first.”

“Alright.”

They returned to Baby and did just as Dean directed; they stopped at a very nearby motel and set up for the evening. Lucky them, they even got a room with an actual crib.

“Be good Sammy, okay?” Dean whispered to his brother as he lay him down in the baby bed. Sam bubbled his lips up at Dean and smiled a little. “Yeah, there you go. Do you wanna sleep with Mr. Holster? Yeaah, you wanna sleep with Mr. Holster!” The closest thing to a baby toy was a soft leather holster than Dean was willing to put out of commission for the infantile Sam. The baby took it gently from Dean’s hand and held it close, putting the edge of its strap in his mouth.

“Dean,” Cas said loudly.

“What.”

“Come here.”

Dean turned around and saw Cas standing with a six-pack of beer in his hand. “This is for you.”

“Well thank ya, Cas. That’s what I call room service.” He swaggered over to the angel and plucked to six-pack out of his grasp, took one beer out and cracked it open. After a long chug, he wiped his lips and grinned. “Smooth.”

“That makes you happy, right?” Cas asked.

“Yep, sure does.”

“I want to make you happy.”

“You do.”

“Good. Then I am doing well.” Cas probably should have smiled right then, but that was still a bit out of his ability. Instead he stepped awkwardly close to Dean and stared.

“You need something?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. Sex.”

“Right, right. Uh, listen Cas; you don’t really set appointments for sex. It has to just happen.”

“Just happen?” Cas sighed. “Like this?” He reached out and placed both hands on Dean’s chest. He rubbed in slow circles. “Does a massage increase your desire for sexing? It is supposed to.”

“Y-yeah,” Dean said. He finished off the beer and set down the empty glass. “It does, but uh…”

“What?”

“I dunno. You can try other things.”

“Such as performing fellatio? ‘Making out’?”

“Uh, yeah. Both. Both work.”

Cas slipped his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. He was already getting better. Their lips smacked together and Dean started to ease into arousal once more. Feeling the angel was a good, steady reminder of what love was really underneath it all.

“Penetrate me, Dean,” Cas said weakly.

Without an answer, Dean slammed the angel back against the wall of the room and fumbled his pants. They dropped to the floor and he lifted his legs up around his own waist. Somewhere in the mess of clothes and kisses, Dean took out his cock and positioned it between Cas’ ass cheeks. The angel stayed with his legs upon Dean, supported between the man and the wall, staring up at him. His eyes grew big and hungry.

“Alright,” Dean whispered. He pushed himself into the tight pucker hole and started to thrust. Cas furiously ripped at Dean’s shoulder with his hands, digging and digging into the fabric. Then Dean began to pound him harder, smacking his head into the wall. Cas cried out in deep, throaty moans of ecstasy while his hands started to wander all over the man. He went beneath the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up, revealing Dean’s sleek and firm body. Momentarily the man let off the wall so that the shirt could come off entirely. It dropped to the floor and Cas put his hands back on his body. He touched the smooth skin all over, still shouting and crying in pleasure as the rod slammed him hard. It was so good. So satisfying. Dean’s cock touched him in such strange and beautiful ways that he barely knew what to do. Cas’ hands moved to each of Dean’s shoulders, and the right one fell in line with the burn mark.

“Damn, damn!” Dean screamed. He felt his orgasm building up but he desperately wanted to go further. “You gotta be able to cum, Cas!”

“I-I don’t know!” Cas responded. He stared wide-eyed at the man as his ass was slammed rigorously by the sweaty body before him.

Once again, Cas had a useless orgasm. This time Dean saw it; the vessel’s penis throbbed bright red then shot a weak load out. Cas didn’t even respond in the slightest, just continued to rock his hips towards Dean’s torso. It was really weird, even for Dean who had basically seen _everything_ in the sack.

But then Dean worked harder. He growled, bit down on his lower lip and fucked Cas at an incredible rate. The angel screamed loudly; so loud that he almost started to go hoarse. The wall thump-thump-thumped with their love making, echoed by grunts from them both. Cas’ hand gripped tightly into the burn mark as well as the opposing bicep.

“C-cum, Cas; you g-gotta cum!” Dean winced between heavy breathes as he power fucked the poor angel.

Cas screamed out in the throngs of ecstasy, loud and wild; but the mortal moans faded and slowly a shrill tone replaced them. That high, ear-splitting scream of angel communication flushed out of Cas and filled the room. Dean cried out loudly, half in pain but half in pleasure, the sonic wave searing his ears. But he kept humping, he kept fucking. He slammed Cas through the sharp ringing and it continued to get louder. Then all at once – POW POW POW! The lights in the room exploded and everything shook. Cas’ hole clenched tightly around Dean’s cock and then he heated up. His body turned white hot and Dean released his load within. He closed his eyes and Cas clung to him desperately as the room filled with a tingly, tense air. It all came to a head and Dean hugged the angel close.

He was thrown back. Dean was pushed with a crazy strong might to and across the floor. His head banged into the foot of one of the beds and he almost lost consciousness.

“Uggh, damn,” Dean moaned. He opened his eyes slowly, now that everything had settled, and focused on Cas, who had collapsed onto the floor. “Cas!”

He crawled over to the angel and shook him. “Hey! Cas! You okay? Shit.” But he was out of it. Still breathing, but somehow asleep.

“What the heck?” There was a strange, fine powder all over Cas. Dean ran his fingers through it and noted it resembled that sort of dust that you get from touching a moth. Then he looked up and noticed it was falling everywhere in the room. _Then_ he looked at the wall and saw there were two big, giant imprints of wings smeared where Cas had been railed. Dean touched it to reveal it was the same powder. Luckily it was just pressed there and not burned on.

“Damn,” Dean said to himself as he hoisted Cas up into his arms then laid him on the bed. The angel remained asleep. His cheeks were bright red and he snored softly. He looked over at the crib briefly and saw that Sam was still somehow asleep. How lucky was that? Dean smiled a little and rested beside Cas and thought, “an angel’s nut is serious business.”


	8. Daydream Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys get to Bobby's referral to find a potential fix for Sam's baby problem, while Dean is stuck with his head in the clouds, considering what life -could- be like.

 Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Coffee…

Coffee?

Dean opened his eyes slowly and stared at the wall. He peered up at the clock by the bed and saw that it was already 9. Woah, he slept late.

“Good, you’re up.”

“Cas? _You’re_ up?”

The bed jiggled a bit. Dean slowly and tiredly propped himself up on his hands and saw that Cas was sitting on the mattress, holding a cup of coffee and a newspaper. He held them both out to Dean.

“Uh, what’s with the newspaper?” Dean asked. He took the coffee and sipped it. Nice and hot.

“I was watching television circa 1957. It appears to be the ideal time for the model housewife. Is this pleasing?”

“Pleasing? I _guess_.” Dean slowly took the newspaper and looked it over. “You uh, you remember what happened last night?”

“I do. Every second.”

“You okay?”

“Yes.”

Dean took his eyes off the paper and glanced up at Cas, who still sat on the bed with an expectant face. “First orgasm I’m guessing?”

“If that sensation is called an orgasm then yes; I have not experienced anything akin to that before.”

“Like it?”

Cas sucked in a deep breath of air. “I enjoyed it.”

“You wanna do it again sometime?”

“Yes.”

With another sip of coffee, a smirk spread on Dean’s face and he sat back against the headboard. Cas hesitated momentarily, then slowly extended his hand and clasped it around Dean’s thigh. The angel closed his eyes. “I feel happy that we can finally express our feelings like this.”

“Yeah,” muttered Dean.

“You’re still being distant.”

“Well I’m sorry. The whole thing is still just a _little_ weird.”

“I should be apologizing,” Cas said and withdrew his hand from Dean’s lap. “Did I force this on you? Perhaps I’m not thinking clearly.”

“No, no, it’s not like that,” Dean explained. “It’s just how I gotta get used to uh, pounding ass instead of pounding cooch.”

“Then it’s only the physical aspect that is causing conflict for you?”

“I guess?”

Cas looked somewhat relieved. He narrowed his lips and breathed out slowly. “You have come to terms with your feelings for me?”

Dean swallowed stiffly and stared back at the angel, then he set down the cup of coffee, leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips. “Yeah,” he whispered. For a tiny, brief moment after the kiss, the furniture in the room wobbled as if a small sonic boom flushed out of Cas. “But you gotta stop that,” Dean warned.

“Stop what?”

“The blowing shit up because you’re happy.”

“But I have little control over it.”

“Little means there’s some. You can work on that, right?”

“I suppose I can.”

“Cool, ‘cause I can’t have you—“

Sam must have woken up, since a soft whimpering grew louder and louder from the crib. “Aw, hell,” Dean cursed.

“I will handle him. Don’t worry.” Cas got up quickly and walked over to the crib (hooray! He wasn’t popping around) and looked down at the baby. “What is the problem? What is your issue?”

“You still haven’t learned that he won’t tell you, huh?” Dean laughed. He got out of bed and dragged himself to the bathroom, where he briefly washed and dressed for the day. “But it might be our last morning with him like that,” the man continued, slipping a shirt over his chest as he swaggered out of the bathroom. His eyes immediately fell on Cas’ backside, bending over into the crib. Dean looked away quickly and adjusted his pants. “If this dude can help us like Bobby said.”

“That would be positive,” Cas mumbled from the crib. He must have been changing Sam’s diaper like that. “Then we can continue progress in stopping the apocalypse.”

Dean sighed at those words. It felt crazy and he denied the conscious acceptance of it, but for a moment he thought how nice it would be if that shit wasn’t really going on and maybe he and Cas could actually raise a baby together; a real baby, not just some time retarded Sam. Dean had a regular job and Cas was just a regular guy, and they got married and--

“Dean?”

“Huh?” He flashed out of his train of thought in an instance. “What?”

“I asked if you were ready to go.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah I am.”

* * *

Everything they needed was packed up and they headed over to the guy’s house once more. Dean went ahead and knocked on the door, but this time someone answered. The door opened just a bit and a nose stuck through. “Who is it?” a male voice hissed.

“We’re friends of Bobby Singer,” Dean explained quickly. “He told us to come here, said you might help us with our little problem.”

The door opened all the way and revealed a short and scrawny middle aged man. He was dressed casually and had a couple piercings in his ears which went well with his comb over. Dean rolled his eyes and looked back at Cas, moreso Sam, and made a “Can you believe this guy?!” look. Baby Sam giggled and they headed inside the very plain house.

“Marco,” he said, extending his hand to Dean.

“I’m Dean, this is Cas, and he’s holding the baby formerly known as adult Sam.”

Marco began to lead them inside but he stopped when Cas passed over the threshold. He quickly turned around and stared. “You’re an angel?”

“Uhhh,” Dean spurted out. He thought very quickly. “I-is that a problem?”

“No,” Marco said. He leered Cas strangely. “I’ve never seen one before, that’s all. I expected them to be more…magnificent, intense.”

“Hey!” Dean interjected, giving Cas no say in this whatsoever. “He is _too_ magnificent and _too_ intense!”

Marco raised both hands up. “Sorry, sorry,” he said quickly. “I was just saying. Didn’t realize you two were an item…assuming that’s allowed…”

Dean pressed his lips together tightly and stared back at Cas, who looked as oblivious as usual. Sam kicked his legs out.

“Um, at any rate,” Marco said awkwardly. “What exactly happened? To Sam, I mean.” He took them over to his living room and offered them a seat. Everything was cluttered with books and the walls were lined with many, many inset boxes; much like a Chinese herb doctor (if you’ve ever been to one. Look it up, their system is boss).

“There was this dude, and he apparently had a Fountain of Youth, right?” Dean said down on a rickety chair and put his elbows on his knees. “He was killing people in the fountain, then drinking it to stay young. But Sam accidently fell in and I couldn’t pull him out until he already turned into a baby. Oh, right; sitting in the water made you get younger and younger. You know what? Why didn’t the dude just sit in the water for a little bit?”

“Because the youth inducing qualities come from the bodies that die within it,” Marco said. Dean raised his eyebrows.

“You know about it?” he asked.

“Indeed,” Marco nodded. “You won’t find anything on it if you search for the Fountain of Youth, since it isn’t that.”

“Okay, then what is it?” As Dean asked all the questions, Cas’ eyes darted back and forth between the two men. Sam did the same.

“It’s a basin of water that’s been worked over with a spell by Hebe.”

“Hebe?”

“The Greek Goddess of youth.”

“That makes sense,” Cas noted.

“So how is it reversed?” Dean asked.

“Lucky for you all, I’ve dealt with this same problem before. So I’ve already done my research. There’s a serum I have to fix.” Marco suddenly walked off to his kitchen.

“How long’s that gonna take?” Dean called out.

“Oh, not long, not long. Give me a few minutes is all.”

Through a series of clatters and clangs from the kitchen, Cas stepped over to Dean, leaned down and whispered loudly, “Why did he call us ‘an item’?Doesn’t he realize we are two separate entities?”

“Yeah he does, that’s not what he meant.”

“What, then?”

“An item is like a couple; two people dating.”

“We mark many dates together.”

“No, no, not like that,” Dean’s whispers grew harsher with a bit of frustration. “Like being married or whatever. You know. Boyfriend, girlfriend stuff.”

Now a very serious look on Cas’ face as he asked, “Are we? Is that us? Is he right?”

“Cas, I—“

“Here we go,” Marco’s triumphant return broke the angel away. Dean’s face turned bright red. “Was I interrupting something?”

“All good,” Dean grumped and sat back on the chair more.

“Right. Anyway, here it is.” Marco handed a mason jar of clearish, viscous fluid to Cas and smiled. “You’re the one handling the baby matters I see.”

“That is mostly correct, though Dean helps out occasionally.”

“Shhh,” Dean hissed. “Don’t make me look like the bad guy here, c’mon.”

Marco laughed politely behind his hand. “You both are funny. You’ve got it down to the T.”

“What T?” Cas asked. He looked at the jar curiously and shook it slightly. “This? Is this tea?”

“No, no,” Marco said. “I mean your marriage. You’re arguing like it’s been decades. Oh, how long has it?”

Dean suddenly stood up. “Thanks for the juice,” he said stiffly. “But we gotta get going.”

“Mmm,” Marco pressed his lips together and hummed. “You’ll want to give him one tablespoon of that, every day for a month.”

“Wait, a month!?”

“Well, yes. Dose for a month, and then after another month he should come back to normal. But mind you, that second month will be brutal.”

“Brutal? Is he going to attack us?” Cas asked, while Dean watched angrily, muttering “Two months?! Two months!?” over and over.

“Oh no, goodness no; but he’s going to grow up in that time. It will be very unnatural and very painful for him, so make sure you two are set up to watch him constantly and give him everything he needs.”

“This is doable,” Cas agreed with a nod. “Dean?”

“Two months?!” was all the man could say.

“You want it fixed or not?” Marco sassed.

“God damn it,” Dean huffed then snatched Cas by the arm.

“I don’t see why you have to drag my father into this,” Cas said as he was pulled out of the house.

* * *

“Bobby home, sweet Bobby home!” Dean sighed happily as he flung open the door and brought his ass inside. “When’s Bobby gonna _be_ home anyway?”

“I’m not sure,” Cas said, following Dean closely. He branched off to the kitchen and set down the jar of antidote.

“Two more months,” Dean groaned.

“It could be worse,” Cas said as he measured out a tablespoon of medicine, then fed it to a very unhappy Sam. “The wait time could be two years.”

“Ugh, don’t even say that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“Fair enough.”

Dean cracked his back then lay down on the sofa with a sigh. He could have wished for the nightmare to be over, but which?

“Are you hungry?” Cas asked.

“Dude, he isn’t going to answer you,” Dean called out.

“I was asking you, not Sam.”

“Oh. Well yeah, I told you I’m always hungry.”

“That’s right,” Cas told himself. “I will return promptly.”

“Hey, wait!” Dean turned his head to the kitchen and saw that they were both gone. “Why you gotta take Sam with you?! Damn.”

He groaned real loud and cuddled into the sofa more. Cas was so weird about things, but what could he do? _He’s trying to be a housewife_ , Dean thought. _Embarrassing but somehow cute._ And that was very true. Gender just didn’t affect Cas at all; once he found a suitable niche, he stuck to it. Dean smiled to himself and let his thoughts carry him away again…

What if Cas _was_ his wife and they had a family? It would be weird, but then again not being a hunter would be weird, too. From the outside, someone might expect this to be an unusual thing for Dean to fantasize about, but in reality it wasn’t too far off. Sure, it was “a hunter’s life for me” always, but deep down he yearned for some normalcy. It didn’t sound too bad and it certainly wasn’t him going soft. Dean always acted so rough on the outside but he had no problem admitting there was sensitivity within. Okay, maybe not openly admitting it but he accepted it mentally. He wasn’t afraid to cry. He wasn’t afraid to kiss Cas on the lips and smile at how beautiful he looked. _Ugh_ , Dean thought. _Really? Beautiful? I think a man is beautiful?_ That’s love, Mr. Winchester. It’ll do that to you, so you might as well buckle up and dive in headfirst.

Presently there was a little flutter and Cas returned, though Dean kept his eyes shut and almost fell asleep on the sofa. He listened to the angel moving about in the kitchen and imagined that it was their own house. How would Cas and Dean decorate? Dean would of course want a room to hang all his weapons; a showcase of militia. But what did Cas like? Did he actually own things? Was there a space somewhere in the universe where Cas had possessions? He probably enjoyed small, subtle objects that reflected certain feelings, or showed the hidden handiwork of God; a rock, a feather, a scrap of paper. Actually that question was really interesting to Dean.

“Hey Cas?” he asked, still with his eyes shut.

“Yes?”

“Do you own things?”

“What sort of things?” Clatter, scrape. Something moved about over a countertop as Cas spoke.

“I dunno. Anything? Like, do you have stuff?”

“Some.”

“Like what?”

There was a tiny clacking and then squeals from the oven door opening. “Relics. Of course I _have_ to keeps objects occasionally, but strictly speaking for my own enjoyment I do have a few small tokens of life. It’s only natural when you’ve seen as much as I have.”

Now Dean turned over and sat up. He looked over through the kitchen threshold and saw Cas’ back as he moved his hands about on the counter. Sam was tucked into the makeshift high chair (which consisted of a couple books and an old, disembodied seatbelt) and shaking the leather holster around happily. Dean watched for a moment, not saying anything. He didn’t have an eye for art, but it seemed to him that it would have made a nice picture.

“What are you thinking about?” Cas asked, still with his back turned.

“You, I guess,” was Dean’s quiet admission.

“What of me?” Cas turned around just a little so that he looked at Dean.

“N…nevermind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Dean sulked a bit and glanced towards the floor.

“I will forget it, then.” He went back to the counter and fumbled things around once more. Dean brought his eyes back up to the kitchen and watched Cas. He took a tray filled with something and stuck it inside the oven, then he laid his hands on the outside and it glowed a bit.

“What’re you doing?” Dean asked. He got to his feet and wandered over to that room.

“It says to cook them for almost three hours. I can’t let you wait that long.”

“Divine intervention, huh?” Dean chuckled and stuck his hands into his pockets. Something started to smell amazing. “So what are they?”

Cas released his hands and opened up the oven. A flourish of tangy, meaty aromas soared from the tray and he pulled out a big rack of ribs.

“Holy shit,” Dean gasped. “You made fucking _ribs_?”

“They seem favorable for men of your…stature.” Cas placed the tray down on the counter and transferred some of the ribs to a plate.

“How did you know I like ribs?! You’ve never seen me eat them.” Dean, practically drooling, went to the table and sat down, then Cas put the plate in front of him and got real close to his face, staring.

“There is a restaurant bouncing around in your head a lot,” Cas said, narrowing his eyes at Dean as he clearly read him. “Fat Mack’s Rib Shack. You think about it often.”

Dean glared back. “I can’t keep any secrets from you, huh?” He pulled a rib off of the rack and sucked the meat right off the bone, letting out a small moan. “Unff, how did you do this?”

“I followed the recipe. It’s simple. Little more than a mathematical equation.”

“You know,” Dean said with his mouth full of rib meat. He set down a bone and picked up another, all the while Sammy watched with big eyes. “It’s really nice having someone cook for me.”

“I enjoy it,” said Cas. “I feel well when you do.”


	9. Some Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam begins to grow up. Cas takes Dean's advice on learning how to talk dirty. Dean starts to feel more comfortable with his feelings for Cas.

 

Dean woke up in a big, messy fluster. He shook his head terribly, terribly so and struggled to get off of the sofa. Through the foggy memory of his dreams, he walked through the house and followed the faint sound of music. In the kitchen, Cas was sitting at the table with a radio on in front of him. It appeared that Sam was still sleeping in his weird crib. When Dean came into the kitchen, Cas looked back at him. “You’re awake,” he said softly then stood up, turning around with yet again a cup of hot coffee and a newspaper. Dean took both but tossed the paper on the table.

“You don’t have to do that every morning,” he grumbled.

“But I prefer to,” Cas said and sat back down gently.

“Whatever gets you through the night, pal,” Dean shrugged, sipping the coffee. “You give Sam his meds yet?”

“I’m trying to keep it punctual. I will administer the serum at four-twenty-three this afternoon.”

“Okay then, Mr. OCD.”

“I don’t have a last name.”

“Just being funny.”

“I see no humor in it, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Dean joined Cas at the table and looked at the radio. “So uh, whatcha been listening to?”

“There are a few songs with sentiments I enjoy,” Cas said. He looked happy.

“Like what?”

“One that they called _I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing_.”

“Aerosmith. Niiice.”

“I can relate to the notions.”

Dean sat back in his chair and sipped the coffee. “You’re a nut.”

“No, I am an angel.”

“Right, right,” Dean rolled his eyes and started to laugh. “So I had this crazy dream last night. You won’t believe it.”

“Why would I think you were a liar?”

Ignoring Cas’ literal nightmare, Dean closed his eyes, still chuckling and continued; “You were in a wedding dress.”

“That is interesting. Is it customary?”

“Heh, not exactly. Men wear suits and the chicks wear dresses.”

“Why would you have such a dream?”

“Beats me. Pretty freaky though. Please don’t wear any dresses. Ever.”

“I currently see no reason to do such a thing, however I cannot find an argument not to. I’m afraid I can’t make a promise like that.”

“How reassuring,” Dean grumbled. “I’ll keep my dreams to myself.”

“As you wish.”

Dean finished off the coffee and slid the mug to the side, then he reached across the table and touched both of Cas’ hands lightly. The angel looked down at them. “You know I wish you could sleep with me,” Dean said quietly.

“I’m sorry. I can try?”

“It’s not the same. Actually having to sleep together versus you forcing it, that’s just, ugh, it’s lame.”

“Again, Dean; I’m very sorry.”

“You gotta stop apologizing,” said Dean. “You can’t help what you, well, what you can’t help.”

Cas nodded. “I would like to kiss you,” he said quietly.

“You don’t need to ask permission.”

“Alright.” The angel applied pressure to Dean’s hands then leaned over the table and kissed him on the lips. Dean smiled into the kiss and opened his mouth just a bit, smacking their lips together. Cas sighed dreamily, closing his eyes.

“Do you like that?” Dean whispered.

“The sensation is pleasant, yes,” was Cas’ timid reply. Dean pulled away from the kiss. “What?”

“You gotta learn how to talk dirty,” the man insisted.

“Talk dirty? What is that?”

“Like, it’s like, sexy things you say when you’re having sex. I dunno how to explain it but you are _terrible_ at it.”

“I am?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Before they could get any further, a little noise came from the crib. “Ehh! Ehh!” it squeaked.

“…is that Sam?” Dean asked and immediately got up. He went to the crib and saw Sam, awake, reaching his hands up. “Hey! Sammy, look at you!”

“Ehh! Ehh!” the baby struggled.

“Are you trying to talk, man? Is that it? You trying to talk?”

Cas got up and followed Dean to the side of the crib as well, staring blankly down at Sam. “It seems the antidote is already speeding up his development.”

“Yeah or maybe he’s just growing up? When do babies start talking?”

“I don’t know any more than you.”

“EHH! EEHH!” Sam cried out.

“Aww Sammy come on, you can do it,” Dean coaxed. He reached into the crib and hoisted his brother out. He tried to hold onto him, but Sam held his arms out to Cas instead. “No, no. You wanna stay here with Dean. You know, your brother. Sammmehh come on.”

“EHH!!!”

“He is attempting communication,” Cas said, staring at the baby.

“Say ‘Dean,’” Said Dean. “Or ‘Sam.’ But ‘Dean’ would be way more awesome.”

“Eeeeehhh, eeeehhhh!”

“You can do it,” Dean cheered. “Just say, ‘Deeean.’”

“Eeeeehhhhnnngguuuull. Eenngul. Enngul. Aaangul.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dean snorted. “Angel? Your first damn word is fucking angel?”

“Aangguull,” Sam whined, squeezing his fingers at Cas.

“I admit that is rather cute,” Cas said. He took Sam out of Dean’s grip, leaving the older brother looking rather downtrodden. “What’s wrong, Dean?”

“He likes you better,” Dean grouched.

“To be fair I have been doing most of the work,” Cas said.

“You’re right,” Dean sighed, watching the two of them. Sam hugged Cas a bit and mumbled, “aanngull” a few more times, smiling. “You know what? I should probably spend some time with him. I mean, this is my one chance to give him a better childhood.”

“That’s very wise,” Cas agreed. “Would you like to take him now?”

“Yeah, I would.” They swapped holders of Sam once more, even though the baby wanted to be back with Cas, and Dean walked a few steps away. “I think I’ll take him out for some baby stuff, whatever that is.”

“You don’t want me to come?” asked the angel.

“Nah, nah. You got homework to do.”

“Homework?”

Dean went over to the desk in the study, flipped open the laptop with one hand and pointed to it. “You need to learn how to talk dirty. Watch some porn.”

“How do I find some porn?”

“Just search for it in the internet browser. There’s plenty. Okay?”

“I will attempt this.”

“Great. Then we’ll see you later.” Dean whisked Sam away, despite his angel babble and desperate grasps for Cas.

“Search for it in the internet browser,” Cas repeated to himself. He sat down before the computer and stared at the screen. Once he managed to locate the internet icon and bring it up, he clumsily typed in,

**Porn**

**Dirty**

[Enter]

Immediately his eyes widened at the amount of results. “Interesting,” he muttered.

* * *

“Alright Sammy, time to see what a brother is good for.”

Smiling hopefully, Dean put Sam down into a baby swing and began to push. They were at a nearby park, surrounded by other people and kids, all yelling and screaming as they went about their day. Dean leaned down to Sam and whispered, “We aren’t really on par with these punks. Just ignore ‘em.”

Sam sat in the swing with a pouty little face, but as Dean began to push him more he perked up. Soon he was all smiles.

“Hey, is that your kid?” a woman asked from behind. Dean turned around and saw a pretty young thing pushing an empty stroller.

“Oh, no, no. He’s just my brother.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” she cooed. “He is really adorable.”

“Thanks I guess.”

The woman giggled and blushed just a tad. “I guess you don’t have any yourself, right?”

“Nope.” Dean kept pushing Sam on the swing as he spoke. The woman gestured to the stroller.

“I’ve got one. She’s three. Right over there.”

“Ah,” Dean said, basically just being polite. Honestly he didn’t give a rat’s ass about other kids.

“It’s been really hard on her, with the divorce and all.”

“Must suck.”

“It does, it really does.” Now the woman flipped her blonde hair back from her face and smiled cutely. “You know if you ever need help with your brother, we could…”

“Hey that’s great and all,” Dean interrupted quickly. He flashed a courtesy smile at her. “But I’m sorta seeing someone.”

“Oh,” the woman peeped, clearly embarrassed. She withdrew suddenly and looked away. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s okay,” Dean said, but she had already walked away. “Jeez, tough crowd. Right, Sam?” When he peered back at his brother, the baby had settled down and looked at him very seriously. “What’s up?”

“Deeeee,” he whined. Dean’s face lit up.

“Yeah? Yeah?!”

“Deeeeeeeeee…”

“’Deean’. Say ‘Deaaaan’! Come on Sammy, you can do it.”

“Deeeeeeeeeeeeeemons.”

Dean sighed loudly. “Great,” he groaned. “Figures.”

* * *

Back at home base, Cas had gotten his fill of porno movies and decided to move onto bigger and better things. The internet was appealing in a strange sort of way, not just to find weird stuff but also useful things that could help him in further understand human life. He sat in front of the empty browser, pondering what he could use. Then inspiration struck.

**How**

**To**

**Make**

**Pie**

[Enter]

“This seems rudimentary,” Cas considered. “If this ‘busy mom’can make a pie at home, an angel of the Lord certainly can.”

He read over the recipe and stored it in his memory, necessary ingredients included. Then he recounted a few lines he had learned in the movies earlier. Hopefully this would satisfy Dean. If not, what was he to do?

Not long after, Dean and Sam came home. They burst through the front door loudly. Dean seemed upset.

“Dean, you seem upset,” said Cas.

“Sam had another word,” Dean moped as he put Sam down in his crib. The baby was pretty tuckered out from his day out and went to sleep quickly.

“His development is making milestones,” Cas noted. “Is this something to be upset about?”

“I don’t understand why he won’t say my name.”

“What was this second word?”

“Demons.”

“I think that is rather appropriate, isn’t it?”

“It is, but I’m his brother. I’m his fucking brother. I’ve always been there for him and he can’t even say my name?”

“He is a baby,” Cas reminded. He got up from the desk and walked over to Dean slowly. “You cannot expect him to have the fully developed brain of an adult.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah what?”

Cas stood before Dean with the usual serious face. “I believe I have been bad,” he said.

“ _Bad_? What are you talking about?”

“I have been bad and I need to be spanked, daddy.”

Dean burst into laughter. “Whaaaat? Whaaaaat?! Cas what!?”

The angel frowned. “I am doing what you asked me.”

“I’m not your daddy, or anybody’s. What are you talking about?” The chuckles continued but Cas didn’t find it very amusing.

“I have observed several porn movies on the internet and I am copying the dirty talk that was used. Now would you please split my twat in half, as I have a strong desire to be wrecked.”

Dean kept laughing. He laughed and laughed and ended up having to hug Cas real tight.

“Is this pleasing? Do you enjoy my dirty talk?” Cas said.

“Ohh man, Cas. You, you’re a lost cause.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fiiiine, chill.”

Cas stepped back from Dean just a bit and looked him in the eyes. “I am trying very hard to please you.”

“I know. I appreciate it. Shit, you’ve done more for me than anybody has in my entire life.”

“Then this is an accomplishment.”

“It is,” Dean said. He leaned into Cas and kissed him on the lips, but Cas backed up and kept staring.

“Do you still find me attractive? Even if I cannot dirty talk in the manner you would prefer?”

“Shh,” Dean hissed and put a finger over Cas’ lips. Then he moved it away and replaced it with his lips once more. Cas tried his best to put a lot of effort into the kiss and he was doing alright. A little moan slipped out while they wrestled tongues, breaths increasing rapidly. Dean ran his hands underneath the collar of Cas’ trench coat and slowly pushed it off his shoulders, dropping it to the ground with a frump.

Suddenly they blinked away and reappeared on the sofa. Dean towered over Cas with his hands on his shoulders.

“I told you not to poof around like that around the baby,” Dean whispered.

“I thought it would be easier this time.”

“It’s alright,” Dean said. He kissed at Cas’ neck, growling softly through his heavy breath. Cas closed his eyes and rocked his head back. Tiny moans slipped out between his lips.

“Dean,” Cas mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“I like to say your name while you touch me.”

Dean hummed. “I like it, too.” He bore his teeth down hard into Cas’ neck and moaned loudly. The angel’s arms shakily reached up underneath Dean’s shirt, clawing across his back as their bodies began to grind together. “Caaaas,” Dean moaned.

“I wish to have intercourse with you,” Cas whispered.

“That’s good,” Dean answered with a little smile. He put his hands on the angel’s tie, lightly touching the knot with his fingertips. Slowly he untied the navy fabric then took out button after button of the shirt, exposing Cas’ pale chest. “You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes,” Cas hummed. “I want that very much.”

Dean began to unbutton Cas’ pants. The intensity of arousal started to sneak up on them now, turning the thin space between them hot and sticky. Once he managed to slide the angel’s pants off entirely, Dean removed his own. They pushed and pulled until both of them were stark naked, pressed together chest-to-chest on the sofa. Dean lifted Cas’ legs up and put them around his waist.

“You ready, Cas?”

“Y-yes, Dean. Please, fuck…me. Fuck me, Dean.”

The man smiled real wide. He pinned Cas down hard by the shoulders and pressed his boner against his tight hole. The angel gasped a few times, tensing his fingernails in Dean’s flesh and let a moan bubble out between his lips. Dean’s abs tightened as he started to push his way inside.

“Ohhh f-fuck!” Dean gasped. The head of his dick pressed inside the ring of muscle and both of their bodies ached tenderly. “Feels so good!!”

“Dean!” Cas moaned. His hips rocked back against Dean’s pelvis, swallowing the cock almost in its entirety. His asshole tightened and clenched hotly as pleasure engulfed them. Dean began to thrust, slowly at first, but as Cas gripped the flesh of his back more, he picked up the pace.

“Oh fuck, Cas. You are so tight. You are _so_ damn tight.”

“Dean!”

The angel bucked back wildly, a deep, fast rhythm building between the two of them. Dean’s breath choked and gasped as he plowed Cas hard. It was hot and intense. The sofa rocked loudly, creaking and squeaking with Dean’s fast fucking. Beads of sweat rolled down Dean’s back, one after the other, leaving small wet smears as they ran. Some dripped off his chest and splattered onto Cas. They steamed.

“Cas are you close?” Dean huffed.

“I am right here,” Cas muttered, gasping as he arched his back.

“No I mean,--unf—orgasm. Are you go-gonna cum?”

“That intensity? Yes, it is almost here.”

“You gotta—umm—you gotta control it.”

Dean’s abs worked hard, slamming into Cas’ ass with a hot fervor. His hands, sticky with sweat, held onto Cas’ shoulders as he bear down. Then Dean collapsed so that their chests pressed together. Their tight muscles, slick and shiny, worked and pulled with the rapid increase of speed. They both groaned and moaned loudly in unison. Just before Dean felt his orgasm approach, Cas began to heat up. His body shook and shivered, bloating the air around them with an intoxicating thickness.

“D-damn it, Cas!” Dean shouted. He hugged the angel real tight but continued to hump him rigorously, working his core.

“Dean! Dean!” Cas cried out desperately. His fingers clutched Dean’s back so hard that he began to bleed. Then Cas’ moans turned into that piercing shrill. It rang out like a loud, eerie scream in every direction of the room. The glass of the windows started to shake and Dean cursed himself.

“CAAAASS!” He screamed.

Then in an instant, Cas’ face flushed bright white and the scream reached an even higher tone. Dean closed his eyes tightly and clung to Cas as hard as he could.

**POW!**

Dean was ejected off of Cas again. He violently flew across the room and slammed into one of Bobby’s bookshelves. “No, no, no!” He cried out, flinging his arms up and trying to stop the books from falling. His chest heaved with choking huffs of air, then he struggled to stand up. His legs were so achy it was difficult to walk, but he made it over to Cas, who had collapsed on the sofa and was out cold. Dean put the back of his hand against the angel’s cheek.

“Damn it, Cas,” Dean whispered. At least he didn’t break any windows this time.


	10. He's My Cherry Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas domesticate more as Sam's vocabulary quickly grows.

 

The angel’s naked body was crumpled in a heap on the sofa, breathing heavy yet slowly as streaks of dust settled around the outlines of his wings. Dean leaned over and brushed some of the powder off the back cushion but it sent it soaring into the air, so a cloud of dust hung around. He tried not to inhale (what even _was_ it?).

“Cas,” Dean said. He shook him by the shoulder. “ _Cas_.”

Apparently if an angel manages to fall asleep, there’s no way to really wake them up, so Dean shrugged, got dressed, draped the trench coat over Cas’ body then walked over to check on Sam in the crib. Somehow the baby managed to stay asleep through the reckless sex romp, just like before. That was definitely quite curious as the sounds of Cas’ real voice was violently deafening.

Then the baby stirred a little and slowly opened his eyes. His body wriggled as he stuck his arms out to Dean. “Ahh! Ahh!” he forcibly cried out.

“Alright Sammy, you wanna come out?” Dean smiled as he spoke and bent over into the crib, snatching up his brother so that he could hang out on in his arms. “You doing alright?”

“Mmmmhh,” the baby cooed. He looked at his older brother and frowned.

“Yeah I know, I’ve kinda sucked at this whole big brother thing lately,” Dean confessed. He walked over to the kitchen and attempted to slap together a bottle of formula. “For some reason it’s just been hard, I dunno.”

“Aan-gull,” Sam peeped quietly.

“No, no. I’m gonna take more responsibility now.”

“Aan-gull!” Sam insisted. He touched Dean’s face with his tiny, warm hand and smacked him a bit.

“Hey! Stop it, Sammy!” Dean pulled the baby away just a little and looked at him. “Don’t slap me, okay?” But then he saw that Sam held his palm out to Dean, smiling.

“Aan-gull!” he repeated. His fingers were coated in that powdery crap, which must have built up considerably on Dean.

“Sammy, Sammy; don’t worry about that.”

“Mmmhh,” was a little disappointed noise that followed. The baby shook his hand and sent the remains of powder into the air. “ _Angul_ ,” he whispered, watching it float off. It seemed to sparkle a bit, but Dean couldn’t help but wonder “what the fuck is it!?”

“Alright, here ya go.” Dean fixed up the bottle and offered it to Sam, but he just stared back at him. “Oh, you still can’t feed yourself?” He basically answered his own question, so he then held the bottle securely in his hand and popped it inside Sam’s mouth. The baby took to it immediately and started to suckle. “That’s it, Sammy.”

As he nursed on the bottle, Sam started to close his eyes. Dean rocked him a little. It was embarrassing at first, but then again it’s family so you do what you have to do, and eventually it felt right. By the time the bottle was empty, Sam was almost asleep. He took him over to an arm chair and sat down. “Don’t worry,” he said to his brother. “The medicine is gonna make you better. Then everything will be back to normal and you can, uh,” here did Dean’s face grow solemn. “You can hopefully not let Lucifer ride you.”

Now for a brief moment, Dean looked down at Sam’s face and he sighed with a great deal of sadness. Once again, that domestic fantasy came back; only this time he wished that the baby remained Sam, and that he could give him a normal life. Well, as normal as being raised by his brother and a gay angel. But even that would have been better than what they really had. It’s like they always say; a gay angel is better than no gay angel (who says that? Awesome people, that’s who. Are you laughing? No, probably not. I’m bored. Ugh, stop wondering when it’s going to get sexy again. Just keep reading!).

Sam and Dean both fell asleep in that chair. They remained out for several hours, rocking just a little bit. But when early morning came around, Dean woke up when he heard Cas talking to himself quietly.

“ _You don’t want to make a mess, do you?_ No, I do not. Thank you. That makes sense.”

Dean opened his eyes a little bit and saw the outline of Cas moving in the kitchen. There was a lot of noise.

“ _Now set the oven to 350 degrees_. Alright. It is done.”

The man grumbled from Cas’ talking and closed his eyes again. He didn’t want to deal with all that raucous so early in the morning. Sam was still sleeping in his arms so he decided to follow that path. Sleep overtook him once more. Delightful, delicious sleep…

But then a fabulous smell woke him up. It was probably an hour later or so, and now the sun was almost up. Dean opened his eyes again and saw that Cas was still moving about in the kitchen. _What is he doing_ , Dean grumpily thought to himself. He looked down at Sam and noticed he was starting to wake up as well. The baby retracted his fingers into fists and made tiny whining sounds.

“Ahhh, Sam,” Dean said in a tired, gravely whisper. “Guess we’ve had enough luck with sleep.”

Cas must have heard him talking quietly, since the angel immediately appeared before them. Dean jumped, and not because he had popped up in front of them, but from how Cas was dressed; he put everything back on except for the trench coat, and he added something.

“Why are you wearing an apron?” Dean asked, rubbing his eyes. Sam turned over and started to reach out from Cas, whimpering “angel, angel!”

“Because _you don’t want to make a mess, do you_?” Cas said very plainly.

“…what?”

“They are instructions from a recipe.”

Dean leered at the angel strangely. The apron had little red flowers all over it, and a great deal of lacy trim. It was covered in flour. “Where did you find that?”

“It was in the kitchen.”

“Seriously?” Dean chortled. “It’s Bobby’s?”

“There is a great deal of sentiment attached to it. Does it make you happy?”

“It makes me happy alright,” Dean replied with a big grin. Then he got up and carried Sam to the kitchen, where he found a huge mess everywhere. Mixing bowls, flour, eggs, a rolling pin with flour caked all over it, and the list went on. Then Cas presented Dean with his usual coffee and a paper, which Dean took and sat at the table with. He put together a bottle for Sam and fed him, still chuckling at Cas’ appearance. “You should learn to make Irish coffee.”

“I should? Then I will,” Cas said. He walked to the oven and looked inside.

“Yeah. So what are you making?” Dean asked as his eyes began to scan the kitchen again. The trashcan sat in one corner, open, and was brimming to the top with apple skins and cores. Then Dean inhaled sharply. “Is it…!?”

Cas pulled something out of the oven and turned around, displaying a big, beautiful pie. Like a kid, Dean sprung up from the seat and ran to Cas’ side, leaned over the pie, careful not to let it touch Sam, and kissed the angel on the lips. Cas placed the pie on the counter, his cheeks flushing bright red. “You should just say it,” Cas muttered.

“Huh?” Dean asked. He rocked Sam excitedly. His face was ecstatic. “Say what?”

“When you kissed me, you wanted to say ‘I love you,’ didn’t you?”

If it weren’t for the pie, Dean would probably have thrown a fit just then. But instead he just mumbled and groaned his way out of the discussion. “Uhh yeaah well, when is that pie ready?”

“It has to cool for ten minutes but then it should be eatable.”

“Awesome,” Dean chortled.

Sam had finished off the bottle by now, so he tossed it into the sink then set the baby up in his chair. The seatbelt clacked around his waist and he looked up at Dean. “Pie?” he said.

“AAAAAAAAH HE SAID PIE!!!!!!!!!” Dean shouted happily. “HE SAID PIE!! CAS CAS CAS DID YOU HEAR THAT? HE SAID PIE! AHH that’s my boy! Yeah!”

“His vocabulary is expanding rapidly,” said Cas. He took a knife to the pie and sliced into the crust slowly, looking into it with a comical, pensive expression.

“Pie?” Sam said once more.

“That’s a _man’s_ word,” Dean said, smiling. He pulled a chair back and sat down to look directly at Sam. “You gotta learn more man’s words.”

“Pie?”

“I’m so proud of you, Sammy.”

“Isn’t that a bit extreme?” Cas asked.

“What? Why?”

“He is merely repeating what he hears. He knows not what the word means.”

“Don’t be such a buzzkill, jeez.” Dean leaned close to Sam and whispered, “the angel has a bug up his ass.”

“I heard that,” said Cas. “I hope you did not leave any bugs in there. That would not be very nice.”

“It’s an expression.”

“I see.”

Now the angel cut a slice of pie, plated it and slid it on the table before Dean. The man’s face lit up as bright as a neon sign to a strip club. “Thanks, Cas.”

“You are very welcome,” Cas replied and sat next to them. Dean took a bite and practically melted on the fork.

“Ohhhh fuuuuuck,” he moaned. “It’s sooo good.”

“Is the pie giving you sexual release?”

“What?” Dean asked, frowning. “No.”

“You emit the same strong fragrance.”

“That’s gross.”

“Pie!” Sam shouted, pointing.

“Yeah, that’s right. It’s pie and it’s awesome.”

Cas watched the brothers chatter at each other as the pie slowly disappeared. Once Dean had finished, Cas stuttered a bit and asked, “Dean?”

“What.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah o’ course.”

“When we visited with Marco,” Cas began quietly. “We had a discussion about you and I being ‘an item.’ But you never finished what you were going to say.”

“I don’t remember,” Dean quickly rebutted.

“You said ‘an item’ is ‘boyfriend, girlfriend stuff.’ And then I asked if that is what we are. You did not have the chance to answer as Marco returned just at that moment.”

“We have to talk about this?”

“Why is there any reason to avoid it?”

“I dunno,” Dean grumped and slouched in his chair.

“I thought we were past the point of withholding information?”

“We are.”

“You have clearly accepted your feelings for me. We are raising Sam. We are having the dirty sex.”

Dean looked away from Cas. He poked at the empty plate with his fork. Sam watched silently, wiggling his legs off the edge of his chair.

“I guess so,” Dean said quietly.

“You guess what?” asked Cas. He leaned into Dean more, staring expectantly.

“I guess that’s what we are. I guess we’re an item.”

Suddenly, Cas closed his eyes tightly and that high-pitched tone screamed throughout the room; just briefly, but enough to rattle everything and flicker the lights almost to bursting. It was the angel’s version of a fangirl squeal.

“You okay?!” Dean yelled with his ears covered.

Cas raised his eyebrows and stared at Dean seriously. “Yes,” he said. “I am very happy to hear this. I have wanted this since our first contact.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. This profound bond that I speak of, I promise you it is not nonsense.”

“I see,” Dean said. He sighed and made a little smile. “Well that’s good.”

“Are you unhappy?”

“No, why?”

“I see no signs of great pleasure.”

“You know I’m not a very emotional guy.”

Cas shook his head. “That is not true. Now I have felt your soul within me, and I know that you have a very colorful array of feelings within you.” Here, Cas sat back and sighed, possibly reminiscing over the sensation that is Dean inside him. The light above them flickered once more.

“Okay, well you got me there,” Dean admitted. He put his elbows on the table and watched the angel. “If we’re gonna be totally honest here, then I’ll just come out and tell you; I really like being together with you, but I’m still sorta uncomfortable with it.”

“Why?”

“I told you. I don’t consider myself gay. I’m just, well, I’ve made myself enjoy your meat suit because what’s inside really does mean a lot to me.”

“I mean a lot to you?”

“Yes, Cas, Yes.”

Dean fixed his eyes on Cas’ and they stared silently for a moment. A slight smile grew on the angel’s face, and immediately Dean leaned over the table and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss but a meaningful one. Their lips pressed together and held like that, and Dean took his hand and cupped Cas’ cheek in it. The angel applied a little pressure into Dean’s palm and closed his eyes. When the kiss was broken, Dean looked back at him and smiled, then Cas whispered, “Do you see?”

“See what?” Dean responded, just as quietly.

“Do you see how wonderful it can be when you are honest with yourself?”

“Yeah.” He kissed Cas again on the lips, but this time his tongue pressed inside slightly. Cas smacked his hands down on the table and pushed against Dean firmly. He moaned.

“Woah, woah,” Dean said, pulling away immediately. “Not in front of Sam, okay?”

“I apologize.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Dean laughed a little. He touched Cas’ cheek with one finger then moved his hand away. He returned to his chair and adjusted the seat of his pants awkwardly. “Sometimes when you’re honest with yourself you can get a little carried away,” Dean said with a chuckle. His face was pretty red. He looked at Sam and sighed. “Sorry, Sammy.”

The baby looked at him seriously. His little fists bunched up but then he started to smile and he clearly asked, “Dean?”

 


	11. Practice Makes Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam talks more and Cas tries to control his destructive orgasms.

 

“Sammy! You said it!” Dean cheered ecstatically. He grabbed his brother out of the chair and hoisted him high in his arms. “You finally said it!!”

The baby giggled and wiggled about with a big grin, matching the one on Dean’s face, all the while Cas sat back and observed. The radio kept playing in the background.

_I thought I heard you laughing_

_I thought I hear you sing_

_I think I thought I saw you try..._

“Say it again! Say ‘Dean’!”

“Ahh,” Sam replied. He closed his mouth tightly and stared back at Dean, slowly turning his face quite sour.

“Aww, Sam c’mon. You did it once, you can do it again.”

“He’s said your name before,” Cas interjected. “I don’t understand why this is so remarkable to you.”

Dean leered at Cas. “Because it’s his _third word_.”

“I see nothing phenomenal about this.”

“Ugh. Of course you don’t understand. You never will.” Then he looked back at his brother and smiled again. “Right, Sam? The silly angel just don’t get it.” Baby Sam giggled.

“I have noticed something,” Cas continued, despite Dean’s heavy sigh. “You were eager to put all the responsibility of Sam on me up until he started to speak. Now suddenly you are almost taking the role of his father. Why?”

“’Cause I’ve been terrible at watching over him,” Dean muttered. A sad frown befell upon his face. “I never should’ve made you take care of him. He’s my Sam, even if babies are a pain in the rear.”

Cas nodded pensively. “Could it be that you are overcompensating?”

“For _what?_ ”

“You know that he can survive without you.”

Dean glared. He scoffed. He snorted loudly and set Sam back into his chair, then stuck his finger in the middle of the empty plate on the table and slid it to Cas’ direction. “More pie,” he demanded stiffly.

“I’m not trying to be difficult, Dean,” Cas said. He took the plate over to the counter and sliced another piece of pie. As soon as he returned to the table, Dean grabbed it and started eating grumpily. “But my observations have proven thus far that you constantly try to prove that Sam needs you.”

“Mmm,” Dean groaned, looking at the pie and avoiding Cas altogether.

“There is no reason to prove anything to yourself. You watch out for him and you care. Isn’t that enough?”

“I guess.”

The angel’s hand moved across the table slowly and reached out to Dean’s arm, which sat like a lazy sausage as the other hand kept shoveling pie into his mouth. Cas’ fingers laid on Dean’s arm gently. His voice fell soft. “I watch out for you and I care. That is enough for you to appreciate me, isn’t it?”

The fork slid out of his lips and rested along the side of the empty plate. Dean bit his tongue briefly, thinking. His eyes glistened in his pensiveness and then they closed. “Yeah,” he said. “But I guess it takes time for me to come to terms.”

“That’s alright,” Cas said. He squeezed Dean’s flesh a bit. “But there’s really no reason for you to fill the void by over-parenting.”

“Over-parenting? You’re full of shit.”

Cas stared at Dean very seriously and they both fell silent for a moment. Sam made bubbles with his lips.

“There is no ill intent in my words,” Cas said.

“Okay,” Dean groaned. He rolled his head back on his shoulders with a sigh and loudly cracked his neck. “Enough with the Hallmark, okay?”

“I don’t underst-“

“Listen, if I have to be gay for you that’s fine; but I’m not gonna be a sissy.”

“You don’t _have_ to be anything for me. That is not my intention.”

“Sorry, came out wrong.” Dean smirked. His eyes sparkled. “I _want_ to be gay for you.”

Cas made a tiny sound of happiness as Dean smiled at his, getting up. He took Sam out from his chair once more and passed into the study, not before pointing at Cas and seriously reiterating; “But _not_ a sissy.”

“Fair enough,” was Cas’ response. He remained in the kitchen and took his _Cosmopolitan_ up for a read. Dean rolled his eyes and put Sam down on the floor. He lay down alongside him and played with his hands.

“Whatcha thinkin’, Sam? Oh yeah? Haha, okay. Sure. Look at you.”

The man continued to blather on and on as Cas read quietly. Occasionally the angel made a “hmmm” when he saw something of particular interested, but in general he kept to himself.

“You have any idea when Bobby’s gonna be back?” Dean asked.

“No.”

“And you still can’t tell me what he’s doing, right?”

“Correct.”

He turned onto his back and looked over into the kitchen, where Cas was sitting calmly. He turned a page and raised his eyebrows. Then he looked over the top of the magazine and stared at Dean. “Yes?” he asked. Dean chuckled.

“You’re gonna rot your brain with that garbage.”

“I find that highly unlikely.”

“Right, right,” Dean scoffed. He pulled Sam onto his chest and patted his back rhythmically with the radio. He jerked his head around and sang along, “Taaaaaake ooooooon meeeeeeeeeeeee; taaaaaake meeeeee oooooooooon! I’lllll beee goooooooone; in a day or twoooooo!”

Sam whined painfully and flapped his wrists in the air.

“I don’t think he enjoys your singing,” Cas quipped plainly from behind the _Cosmo_.

“Shut up,” Dean laughed. “How can anybody not enjoy my singing?”

The angel’s cheeks flushed bright red but Dean didn’t notice. “I agree with Sam,” he said softly.

Dean wiggled about with his brother for some time he began to grow sleepy (Sam, that is).

“Alright, think I’m gonna put him down for a nap,” Dean announced. He hoisted the baby up and set him into his crib. “Guess he’ll start growing like crazy soon.”

Cas set down his magazine finally and stepped over to where Dean stood. He looked down into the crib as well. “Yes,” he said. “He will. They grow up real fast, don’t they?”

“I guess?” Dean said with a confused tone. He glanced over at Cas and started to laugh. “Where did you hear that?”

“Several places. It appears to be a common, ‘relatable’ human sentiment. I’m starting to understand the basis of it.”

“This more crap you’ve been reading in your crap mag?”

“If you insist on calling it that then yes, it is.”

“Learn anything else?”

“I have been looking for techniques to lessen the intensity of my, what did you call it? Orgasm?”

“HA!” Dean chortled real loud. “Good luck with that!”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“No, no,” the oldest Winchester smiled ear to ear, shaking his head. “I mean you’re never gonna find anything about that.”

“Why?”

“Because everyone wants bigger, better, _longer_ orgasms. Nobody tries to make ‘em smaller!”

“But they are dangerous,” Cas sighed.

“Only yours, man. Only yours.”

The angel sulked over to the sofa and sat down gently. He looked upon the floor with a disappointed expression. Dean followed and did the same.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Cas said. “But it feels impossible to restrain the violent outburst that follows my orgasm.”

“It’s not impossible,” Dean said quietly. He put his arm around Cas’ shoulders and smiled slightly. “I bet if you focus on it, you can make ‘em a little more gentle. Maybe we can go slower? I mean I’m not really a gentle love maker but if you’re trying hard, I can try hard, too.”

“I don’t understand what you mean by slower.”

Dean leaned against Cas’ cheek and kissed him delicately. “I’ll show you,” he whispered. Sam was fast asleep already and the room quieted down, save for a soft piano that twanged in the kitchen. Cas stared at Dean, eyes wiggling with anticipation and fondness. A voice sang out over the radio.

_Highway run_

_Into the midnight sun_

_Wheels go ‘round and ‘round_

_You’re on my mind…_

Cas closed his eyes and steadied his breath as Dean kissed him tenderly. The man’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, taking the lead and pushing him back onto the arm of the sofa more. Then Dean’s tongue slowly ran down to Cas’ neck, where he planted another row of gentle kisses.

“Dean,” Cas whispered. He helplessly reached out and touched his chest, fumbling his fingers just a little with a delicate nervousness.

“Shh,” Dean replied. Slowly he maneuvered Cas underneath him so that the angel sat up on his knees, facing away from him. Dean kept his lips pressed to Cas’ neck even though he came in from behind now. His hands left Dean’s body and went to the armrest of the sofa. Dean reached around the front of Cas’ chest and unbuttoned the shirt slowly. The entire time he kept his own chest pinned to Cas’ back, arching over the angel and the slope of his back. Cas had his ass pushing backwards against Dean’s waist.He quietly gasped several times when Dean slipped his shirt off. He had to sit up a bit to do so and while Cas’ back was clear, Dean ran his hands along it. He worked his thumbs up and down the angel’s spine, applying _just_ enough pressure. Cas gripped the armrest and moaned out, chokingly.

“De-ean,” he cried.

Dean’s eyes remained closed and his mouth open just a tad, moving his head in rhythm with the slow song on the radio. He continued to work his hands along Cas’ body, teasing and rubbing each space of skin as he went. When he cupped around the angel’s shoulders, he pulled his body backward with a tiny jerk. Cas breathed out loudly. Dean released the shoulders and slowly brought his fingers down to the rim of Cas’ pants. He reached around the front and undid the fly, then slipped to the back once more and pulled them down.

“This is how you do it slowly,” Dean said. He put his palms on each of Cas’ cheeks and spread them just slightly, stared at the hole and swallowed tight. If you had asked Dean just a few weeks ago if he liked looking at men’s assholes he probably would have punched you. And that punch would probably have been a cover up for something he knew, deep down, was always true.

“I enjoy this,” Cas sighed. He looked over his shoulder at Dean and gazed with big, sparkling eyes. “It’s a very special experience.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean agreed in a gruff whisper. In a quick flourish, he pulled off his own shirt then shifted out of his pants. He returned to his knees, propped up behind Cas and ran his hard shaft along his crack.

“Are you going to penetrate me now?” Cas asked.

“Not yet.”

Dean rubbed his cock in an upward motion between Cas’ ass cheeks for a bit, grunting and groaning at the tease he put on for himself. The little bit of soft hair tickled Cas, but in a good way.

Now they both started to breathe harder, longer, thicker and tighter as Dean hooked his arms around Cas’ waist and leaned down once more. He returned to the neck he clearly loved to kiss and nibbled on it lightly.

“Dean,” Cas moaned. He pressed his forehead to the armrest and closed his eyes tightly. “Dean…”

Dean took one hand and brought it to the back of Cas’ head. Tufts of lush, dark hair ran between his fingers like fresh spring grass and he squeezed lightly. He gripped the hair and pulled Cas’ head back, causing the angel to spurt out a loud, whimpering moan.

“You like it slow but I think you also like it rough,” Dean whispered directly into his ear with a naughty little smile.

“My threshold for pleasure, pain, anything; it is much greater than…ohh,” Cas stopped midsentence when Dean bit down hard into his neck. The angel’s body throbbed all over and he bucked his ass backwards. “D-Dean!” he moaned real loud. The man dug his teeth deeper in his neck, breaking the skin just enough to let it run pink. Cas’ fingers clawed at the sofa and scratched stitching out of the fabric. “I-I’m ready, Dean! Please!” Cas cried.

“Oh, you want this?” Dean whispered. He licked Cas’ earlobe a few times. “You want my dick in you?”

“Please,” the angel moaned. “Dean, please.”

“Alright. But you’re gonna watch it and not blow up this time, right?”

“I will do v-very best, please.”

“Alright.”

Dean sat up quickly, grabbed Cas by the waist and eased himself inside. The angel quivered and yelled sharply as he penetrated him, turning bright red in the face. Sweat started to build up in the dip of his back. Dean held him tight and began to grind a thick rhythm with his hips. He worked his core hard and pounded Cas’ cheeks, smacking their balls together with a delightful thump.

“Dean!” Cas moaned. “Oh, Dean! _Dean!_ ” His throaty pleads were almost intoxicating to Dean. He fucked him harder, much harder. He slammed Cas’ ass so violently that the sofa began to creak and crackle and squeal. Sweat dripped between the two of them, heating up and making the whole room thick with hormones.

“Ahh, C-Cas!” Dean choked. In an instant his arms came around the angel’s waist again, pulling Dean’s chest to Cas’ back and sticking them together by the sweat like glue. His ass rammed the angel so hard, working like a bunny, pinning him down and reaming him raw.

“It’s approaching!” Cas cried out desperately. “The orgasm! It’s—unngg! It’s close!”

“You gotta be good,” Dean whispered stiffly, working his body to the limit as sweat ran down his face. He nuzzled into Cas’ neck, grunting and groaning the entire time. “You gotta focus. J-just relax. Don’t lose control. I-it’s just an orgasm.”

“I’m doing my best,” Cas whimpered. His body suddenly grew even hotter. The piercing tone of angel radio started to swell. It rang out. It screamed for joy.

“CAS STOP!” Dean yelled. “HOLD IT BACK! CAAAAAS!”

It all ceased. Dean grunted to himself as a big load of cum filled the angel up. He sighed in relief and collapsed onto Cas’ back. The breathed loudly together. Then one of Cas’ hands let go of the sofa and groped around for Dean. It found a set of his fingers and held tightly. Dean opened his eyes and saw the side of Cas’ face, glistening in sweet sweat. They were nearly steaming.

“Cas?” Dean whispered.

“I’m fine,” the angel replied. Dean saw a smile creeping over the side of his mouth.

“Did you cum?”

“I believe so.”

“Good.” Dean groaned stiffly a few times and hugged Cas warmly. He kissed the his cheek a few times and Cas made a giggling sort of noise.

“It was very pleasurable,” he said.

“Good.”

“Thank you.”

“Please don’t thank me. That’s weird.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“I dunno,” Dean said with a smile.

“Well, what do you want to say?”

Dean reached up to the angel’s face and ran his fingers through his hair, getting a few luscious dark strands out of his face. Shyly, Dean moved even closer to Cas’ ear and whispered, “I love you.”

Cas briefly emitted a high tone but he quickly managed to shut it off.

“What was that?” Dean asked. Cas turned his head so that he could see Dean straight-on. His eyes narrowed, chest still heaving from short breaths.

“I returned the sentiment,” he said softly.

“What sentiment?” Dean asked, ever the asshole.

“I said that I love you. And I mean that.” The tone resonated quietly once more and disappeared just as fast. “I love you.”


	12. Open Up Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The antidote begins to work its way through Sam. Dean backtracks on his "coming out."

Dean cupped his palm around Cas’ cheek and stared at him, deeply, speechless. The icy sapphire eyes pierced through Dean with an unspoken tenderness.

“Then we are in agreement,” Cas said.

“Yeah.”

“Do you need anything?”

“I feel like I deserve a cigarette after that.”

“Why?”

“It’s just this thing,” Dean explained with a little smile growing on his lips. He stroked Cas’ hairline with the tips of his fingers. “Sort of a cliché, where people smoke after good sex. I dunno. It’s an old movie thing.”

“Interesting.”

“But I could go for some more pie,” Dean said. He started to get up but Cas immediately grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“Wait,” Cas said quietly. “Stay longer.”

“Uh, okay.”

Dean lay down again on his back and pulled Cas to his chest. They fell together like puzzle pieces. Cas rested his cheek upon Dean’s pecs and brought up a hand, which delicately touched the man’s skin. He traced lines in a fine powder that had stuck to his body.

“I believe you call this ‘cuddling,’” Cas said in a hushed voice.

“Yep.”

“I enjoy it.”

“Me, too.” Dean sighed and put his arms around Cas, holding him tight. Dust was in a band over his chest and it stuck to Cas’ face. He lifted Cas’ head up and looked at him curiously. “What’s that?”

“What’s what?” Cas asked.

Dean took his thumb and touched Cas’ cheek with it. It was powder from his wings. Dean had sworn he didn’t see that before but perhaps the heat of the moment made it difficult to see. There was very little of it.

“Why do you leave this crap around?” Dean asked.

“What _crap_?”

“The dusty wing stuff. What is it?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know. I have never experienced such a thing. In fact I was unaware that I could even do that. My wings must perform a certain action when I experience this orgasm phenomenon. My best assumption is that it is the residual effect of a strong wing flap.”

“Weird,” Dean said, wiping the powder off of Cas. It didn’t flutter so much since they were quite sweaty, but if Dean rubbed it around in his hands long enough it simply disappeared. He looked over to the back cushion of the sofa and saw that there was a greater band of it. “Shit, if Bobby knows what we’ve been doing, he’s going to kill us.”

“He won’t,” Cas hummed. He put his head down back down on Dean’s chest and closed his eyes. A long sigh blew from his nose and he nuzzled gently. Dean tipped his face down and ran his nose into the soft hair. Though Cas remained conscious, Dean closed his eyes and slipped into sleep to the rhythm of a Bonnie Tyler song.

_Loving you’s a dirty job_

_But somebody’s gotta do it_

He woke up a little while later to find Cas gone. Immediately he sat up and looked around. “Cas?” he called out, panicking slightly. But then his mind was eased when a “Yes?” replied from around the bend of the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“Preparing food,” Cas said plainly. Dean sat up a bit more and peered into the room. At least the angel managed to get dressed before walking around.

“And Sam?”

“Still sleeping.”

“Awesome.”

Dean sat up enough to pull his boxer briefs and t-shirt on, but when he got off the sofa and began to make a move for the kitchen, he slipped. “The hell!?” he shouted, catching his own fall. Looking down he saw that there was another streak of angel dust on the floor. He grumbled a little to himself and rubbed it off with his foot.

“Is everything alright?” Cas asked.

“Yeah. Just stepping in your jazz.”

“Jazz?”

Dean shook himself off and finally came into the kitchen, where Cas was stirring something on the stove. He watched the angel for a moment, moving his arm to stretch the fabric of his shirt across his shoulder blade.

“Dean? What jazz?”

“Just uh,” the man tried to focus through the fixation of Cas’ body. It seemed that every minute alone with him he started to like him more and more. “Just that powder you leave around.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

Cas looked over his shoulder at Dean, flashing his eyes brightly. “I believe it is unavoidable, if I’m going to achieve an orgasm.”

Dean walked up behind him and slipped his arms around his waist. He put his chin to the angel’s shoulder and smiled. This sort of tenderness was really growing on him. “Good thing is that you aren’t kicking the shit out of me,” he said. “I think I can deal with the dust.”

* * *

Once Cas was able to control his crazy orgasms, they started to branch out a bit more. The angel dust varied in intensity, ranging from a few little streaks to full, giant wing marks. They wiped up easily but sometimes they’d get sloppy about it. If the sex was especially intense (generating a buzzing, angelic “yippee!” that almost destroys the room) Cas would pass out afterwards and they’d both sleep for a while. Upon waking, Dean would grumpily get dressed and usually forget to wipe up the powder.

So angel dust was everywhere. Of course it disappeared in time, but before so it fluttered into the air like fine glitter and danced for a while. If Dean lay on his back and Cas rode on top, the wings would somehow fly up at the ceiling and leave their mark there. Dean liked that, but it wasn’t the only place where the dust could be found. It was on the sofa, on the floor, the kitchen counter, the kitchen table, the shower, the desk in the study, the wall in the study, the wall in the kitchen, even the wall outside, the hood, trunk, dashboard, backseat, and front seat of Baby, the bathroom at the grocery store, and even the bench at the park (but don’t tell Sam).

Boning became a daily and quite normal thing for them, though Dean couldn’t help but worry what would happen when Bobby returned. Also, what the heck was he doing and why did it take so long!? In a way it was a blessing, but it also really pissed Dean off. But all in all it wasn’t too bad. There was finally some normalcy (despite the situation being what it was) and Dean could pretend that everything was fine and life was normal.

“Deaaaaan…”

A little cry woke him up in the morning. He rolled off of the sofa and stumbled over to Sam’s crib, rubbing his eyes.

“Deaaaaaaaaaan..”

“What’s wrong, Sammy?” Dean asked groggily.

“Bad dweams, Dean.”

“That’s uh, that’s a lot of words,” Dean said. His eyes widened greatly. Looking into the crib, Sam seemed to be about the size of a three year old. “You feeling okay, Sammy?”

“Bad dweams,” the boy whimpered.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Dean shushed him as best as he could, reached in and pulled him out. He carried him on his chest and rocked slightly. “What were the dreams?”

“It was…” Sam mumbled, pulling his own fingers to his mouth. He started to cry. “It was Wooseefurr.”

“What?”

“Woooseeefuurrrrr,” Sam cried. He clutched his brother tight and sobbed harder and harder, whimpering and clinging so desperately. It broke Dean’s heart.

“Sammy, it’s just a dream. Everything’s okay now. It’s gonna be alright. Hey Cas? You here?”

A flutter and the angel appeared. “Sorry,” he said. “I was preparing something for you.”

“Okay,” said Dean. “But it looks like Sam’s starting his second month from Hell.”

“It appears to be true.”

Sniffling, Sam looked up at Cas with sad red eyes and whined, “Angel, make Wooseefurr go away!”

“He’s having bad dreams,” Dean explained.

“Dreams of Lucifer,” said Cas. “My best guess is that as an infant, he was undetectable. But now that he is growing, Lucifer can sense him again.”

“Great,” Dean huffed. “Was a great run while it lasted.”

“Wooseefurr is gonna hurt me!” Sam screamed. He reached out for Cas.

“Let me hold him,” Cas said. Dean nodded silently and passed the child over. Once he was in Cas’ arms, Sam held onto him desperately and continued to cry, though the sobbing slowly grew calmer. “Lucifer is not going to hurt you as long as you do not agree to anything he asks of you.”

“Agwee?”

“Do not agree to anything he asks of you,” Cas repeated sternly. “When he speaks, you must do all you can to ignore him.”

“Okay.”

Cas held Sam with one arm and went into the kitchen, where he grabbed a mug and handed it to Dean. “This is for you.”

“Thanks,” Dean said, snatching it. He took a sip. “What, just coffee? I thought it was special or something.”

“It’s Irish coffee,” Cas explained, rocking Sam in his arms.

“No man, it’s _not_ Irish coffee. This is just coffee-coffee.”

“But I went to Ireland for you.”

Dean chuckled and took another sip, all the time Sam watched and even he started to laugh. “Irish coffee is a way of making it, not where it comes from.”

“I’m sorry,” said Cas. “I was unaware.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Siwwy angel!” Sam laughed. He tugged at Cas’ tie and giggled a lot.

“I will look into this,” said Cas. Now he took a seat at the kitchen table and also handed a newspaper to Dean, who rolled his eyes, sat as well, and looked the paper over anyway (basically just to be polite). Cas set Sam in his chair, which could basically be a regular chair again and took up a magazine. They both read together in silence as Sam watched them.

“Wooseefurr thinks your funny,” the kid said.

“Who’s funny?” Dean snapped over the top of the paper. “He thinks who’s funny?!”

“Both of you,” said Sam. He continued to giggle.

“What’s funny?!”

“He told me it’s funny ‘cause you awe butt buddies.”

“Don’t say that word!” Dean barked. “Don’t listen to Lucifer and don’t repeat words like that!”

Sam quieted and grew scared looking. He looked at Cas. “Angel?”

“Yes?” Cas asked calmly, flipping a page in the magazine.

“Why is Dean so sca-wee?”

“Dean isn’t scary,” Cas replied. “He’s just defensive about his sexuality since he still has yet to truly accept it.”

“Huh?” Sam asked, staring.

“That is the truth.”

Dean glared at the both of them with his arms folded, Cas went back to his magazine and Sam just looked perplexed.

“Dean?” Sam asked.

“What.”

“What is butt buddies?”

“Stop asking questions, Sammy.”

“Okay…”

Cas leafed another page of the magazine and his eyes raised up high. “Dean?” Cas asked.

“What!” Dean was started to get annoyed. He drummed his fingers on the table and breathed out quite stiffly.

“Do you like to be deep-throated?”

“AAHHH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!” Dean suddenly yelled. He got up from the kitchen table with a flourish and walked right out the front door.

“Dean is angwy,” Sam sighed.

“Stay here for a moment, Sam,” Cas said calmly and followed Dean outside. He was standing in the yard with his hands in his pockets, looking down. “What is the issue?”

“This whole thing,” Dean sighed. “It’s really confusing.”

“What whole thing?”

“All of it. Sam being little, me being gay.”

“Why is it effecting you so strongly now? Up until this morning you were adjusting well.”

Dean groaned, kicking at some loose dust on the ground. He looked up and gazed across the pasture of old cars. “Maybe it’s how you said that I haven’t been able to accept it yet.”

“Dean,” Cas said. He walked around in front of him and looked in his eyes. At first Dean avoided the contact, but the ever-persistent-Cas stayed focused and eventually Dean looked back at him. “You have been running from your sexuality your entire life. I would not expect you to learn to love it within a month.”

Dean stared. He frowned. “What do you mean _running_? I thought you had no idea?”

“I’ve been learning,” Cas stepped closer to Dean. “Every time you penetrate me, I learn more about your soul.”

“No secrets, huh?”

“I was under the impression that your lifestyle of womanizing was rooted in a lack of control, but I have recently learned it is merely a compensative effort to hide your desire for men.”

“Okay,” Dean said angrily. He wet his lips and looked away.

“Stop avoiding the truth,” Cas insisted. He took Dean’s face in his hand and made him look at him. “You have sex with me. You say you love me. You enjoy our time together more than you have ever enjoyed anything. Why do you insist on avoiding the truth?” Dean didn’t answer. “It is related to your father, isn’t it?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean mumbled. His eyes darted away from Cas continuously, but kept going back because well, he liked to look at him.

“I have some notions of this,” Cas said. “Your father wasn’t gay so if you are then you cannot be like him.”

Dean’s upper lip twitched. His breathing grew heavy but suddenly his eyes started to turn red and well up with tears. “He would never love me if I was gay!” he cried. Cas put his arms around him and gave him an awkward hug, which Dean immediately fell into and held him back. “Damn it, Cas! Damn it!”

“Why would you damn me?”

“I don’t know!” Dean choked.

“Just let go,” Cas said. He closed his eyes and pressed into the crook of Dean’s neck. “Just let go.”

"I feel like an idiot," Dean mumbled. He released himself from Cas' hold and looked at him, trying to smile. "Forget about this talk, right?"

"I've already forgotten." Cas winked.

"Ohh! What's that, huh?" Dean laughed now. He took the angel by the arm and led him back inside. "You're learning how to get saucy?"

"The magazines are not entirely crap," Cas said with a teeny, tiny smile.


	13. Exercise Daily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tries to help Dean become more comfortable with his sexuality, and Dean helps Cas have less violent orgasms.

 

“Dean, can we get one of these pwease?” A four-year old Sam tugged on his brother’s arm, holding a toy tractor in his opposite hand. Dean looked down and nodded coolly.

“Sure Sammy, sure.”

Sam smiled and held the tractor close as they continued to meander down the aisle. “Dean?”

“Yeah.”

“After we shop can we have icecweam?”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Dean said.

“Awww, why not?”

“It’s late, little man. We got work to do.”

“We?!” Sam’s eyes widened.

“Well, I do. It’s uh, complicated stuff. Just trust me, okay?”

“Okay.”

They got to the end of the aisle and Dean peered around the registers. “Where’s Cas?”

“Siwwy angel,” Sam muttered. He copied Dean’s looking around movements.

“Damn it,” the older Winchester cursed to himself and started to walk around the grocery store briskly. Sam followed behind, holding his tractor-to-be against his chest. Then they stopped at one aisle and Dean looked down it. “Cas!” he called out.

The angel was standing up against a magazine rack, holding an issue of something open in his hands. Dean walked up behind him. “Hey Cas,” he nagged. “We gonna go or not?”

“Very interesting,” Cas murmured, staring at the open page before him. “Did you know that the average male orgasm lasts 6 to 10 seconds, whereas the average female orgasm lasts 10 to 20?”

“Cas!” Dean hissed. “Don’t say that crap around Sammy.”

“Forgive me,” Cas said. “But Dean, how long do your orgasms last?”

“I dunno I never measured. Are you ready?”

“Yes.” The angel dropped a couple magazines into the cart in front of him and he pushed it over to the registers. Dean took the tractor from Sam and set it in the cart as well.

“You know those magazines are written for _women_ , right?” Dean asked.

“Women who are in relationships with men,” Cas said rather plainly. “And as I am in a relationship with a man, I can use this information.”

Dean shifted on his heels and started to put their groceries up on the conveyer belt, leering at Cas. A woman behind them in line was looking suspiciously away from them, obviously listening to them talk.

“Dean?” Cas asked.

“What.”

“Is something bothering you? You appear to be standoffish.”

“It’s nothing,” Dean tossed an econo-sized pack of ground beef onto the belt and looked up at Cas with a big, annoyed smiled.

“You’re lying,” Cas said.

“Nooo, lying? Me? Why?”

Sam whimpered from his low level but Dean ignored it.

“Dean?” Cas asked, getting a little bit sassy. He raised his eyebrows high on his forehead. “What did we talk about?”

Dean grumbled. He threw a bag of chips to the belt and made a pouty face. Sam mimicked him. “Don’t deny what’s inside,” Dean groaned.

“Good job,” said Cas. He made a tiny smile, pushed the cart out of the way and walked up to Dean, putting his cheek forward. “Do you remember the exercise?

“Damn it, Cas. Do we have to do these fucking exercises?”

Cas looked up and continued to push his cheek forward. Dean sighed. He couldn’t win so he puckered up and kissed Cas right on the stubble. “Love you,” Dean said sourly. The woman behind them stole a quick glance then looked away again.

“You love me what?” Cas asked. It was pretty funny how monotonous his voice remained.

“Love you, _babe_.” Sam giggled. “You shut up,” Dean snarked at his brother, who immediately froze.

“There is still more work to be done,” said Cas. “But you will come to terms with this soon.”

* * *

A very happy Sam burst through the front door of Bobby’s house and ran to the study, where he immediately began to run his new tractor on the floor. He made engine revving noises with his mouth as it drove all around. Dean and Cas followed shortly thereafter, arms full of groceries. They set them all on the table and Dean began to put them away while Cas started up their laptop and sat down.

“What are you doing now?” Dean asked, stowing the chips in a cabinet.

“I am going to review the exercises.”

“Ughhh, come on! We don’t need ‘em and they’re just torture.”

“Hardly, Dean.”

The eldest Winchester grumpily packed the food away and once he was finished he joined Cas at the table. “Fine. What do I have to do?”

“You don’t have to do anything,” the angel said. “However I believe these are very helpful aids in your journey to accept yourself.”

“We’ve been through this. I accept myself fine.”

“Then why did you give me ‘lip’ when I mentioned our relationship in the store?”

“’Cause,” Dean huffed. He slouched his shoulders and looked away. “’Cause it was weird.”

“How?”

“I don’t like talking about it in public like that.”

“That is where you need improvement,” Cas insisted. He turned the laptop to face Dean. “Please read this.”

Dean sighed, rolled his eyes then looked at the screen.

**FRESHLY OUT OF THE CLOSET: _Resisting PDA_**

_It’s always a tightrope to walk when it comes to gay relationships and public displays of affection (PDA), but if your boyfriend has recently come to terms with his sexuality, he will be dealing with more than just social pressure._

“Cas, I’m not gonna read this. It’s stupid.”

“Dean? Please.”

“Ugh.”

_Your partner needs to recognize a few things; first, what made him hide for so long? Then, why is he scared to show his affection for you?_

“CAS! THIS IS STUPID!”

“Your reaction to the article is exactly why you should keep reading.” Cas folded his arms and glared.

“Fine, fine, fine.”

_You might find yourself conflicted because your boyfriend is very loving and close when you are home, yet he refuses to acknowledge your relationship in public. It’s wise to take small steps to slowly ease whatever anxiety he’s feeling about it inside._

  1. _Make a point of calling each other pet names. You do it at home, you can do it in public._
  2. _He has to touch you, he simply must. If he begins to feel nervous, gently tell him to kiss your cheek and say that he loves you. Once he sees that it’s not painful and nothing scary happens, he’ll feel better._
  3. _Hold hands. Hold hands as much as possible. It’s a bold statement that clearly says you’re in a relationship and it’s the only way for him to get over this._



“So now we gotta hold hands?” Dean moaned.

“It’s the only way for you to get over this,” said Cas. “Or so it says.”

Dean sighed, folded his arms on the table and put his face down on his palms. “Damn it,” he grudgingly moaned. “Okay.”

“I am not forcing you,” Cas said. “But highly suggesting actions to improve your life. Our relationship is good, Dean. It is pure and it is beautiful. If you can get over your hostility, it will be perfect.”

“Okay,” Dean repeated. He put his chin on his arm and looked over at Cas, sighing still. “I guess you’re right.”

“Yes.”

“DEEEEEEEEAN!” Sammy suddenly yelled.

“WHAAAAT?”

“DEAN I’M TIIYURRRRD!”

“Then go to bed, Sammy.”

“DEAN TUCK ME IN!”

“Okay, okay. Hold that thought, Cas.” Dean said (“How can I hold a thought?” Cas said out of Dean’s earshot). He got up and went into the study, where Sam was plopped on the floor holding his tractor sadly.

“I wanna go to bed,” Sam said.

“Sure, come here Sammy,” Dean leaned down and picked his brother up. He carried him upstairs, since they started to put Sam in Bobby’s bed now. He put him down and tucked him in. “You gonna be good?”

“Yeah,” Sam said groggily, rubbing his eyes. Dean handed him the little stuffed dinosaur that he had grown fond of and Sam held it real close. “Tell me a stowy, Dean.”

“Uhh,” Dean cleared his throat. “Well, once upon a time, there was a uh, there was really beautiful princess. She lived really far away and was sort of a social idiot. Like, she didn’t understand people and stuff. But then she showed up and fell in love with this really _damn_ good looking guy. She saved his life and they fell in love…Sam?”

The little Winchester was already asleep with his dinosaur plush hugged to his chest. Dean looked down at him and smiled. “Good night, Sam,” he whispered.

Then he went back downstairs, grabbed a beer from the fridge and went to the sofa. Cas appeared next to him and turned on the TV, looked at Dean and smiled. “Is he asleep?”

“Yeah.” Dean cracked open his beer and sat back. He took a big sip. Cas leaned over and laid his head on Dean’s chest.

“I have a fleeting feeling,” the angel said quietly. “I sometimes wish this was our life.”

“What d’you mean? It is our life.” Dean kept his eyes fixed on the TV and took another swig of beer.

“If we were not bound to our fates and Sam was simply a child that we were raising together.”

Dean didn’t answer. He breathed out slowly and guzzled the rest of his alcohol. “Well,” he finally said. “What are we gonna do?”

“Make do with what we have,” Cas said very solemnly. One of his hands wandered across Dean’s lap and slowly touched his crotch. Dean raised his eyebrows and looked down.

“Whatcha doin’ there, Cas?”

“Trying something,” the angel said. “Something I have wanted to try for a considerable time.”

“Mmm?”

Cas kept his face nuzzled into Dean’s chest as his fingers made small circles on the man’s fly. He deftly took the zipper and pulled it down, slipping his hand between the flaps and then rubbed the outside of Dean’s boxers. His dick was growing quite hard beneath the angel’s hand.

“Wh-what are you gonna do?” Dean asked in a gruff, low whisper. His head rolled back against the sofa and a broad smile grew on his face. Cas pulled the boxers down and brought Dean’s strong dick into the open air, then he moved his head down to it and touched the head lightly with his tongue. Dean let out a groan as his dick throbbed. “Cas,” he grunted.

“Is this alright?”

“ _Oh fuck yes_.”

“Good. Please tell me if I am performing badly.”

Cas opened his mouth and slid it over the head of Dean’s cock. He sucked it hard inside and slowly lowered his mouth over it. Dean groaned real loud and brought both of his hands to the back of Cas’ head, pulling tufts of soft, dark hair between his fingers so he could really get a good grip. The angel pushed deeper and deeper with little effort, sucking back and forth in a piston-like motion that was driving Dean wild. He pulled hard on Cas’ hair, tugging and pushing to keep him pleasuring well. Spit dribbled out from the angel’s mouth consistently to keep it well lubricated and feeling fantastic.

“Oh fuck, Cas. Oh fucking shit,” Dean bellowed, rolling his head on his shoulders with his eyes closed. He started to thrust his waist up into Cas’ mouth. His abs tightened and he pounded the angel’s slobbery, slippery mouth fast. “Caaaaaas!”

Cas flickered his tongue around the shaft then made big, wide, warm and wet circles around the base. Dean groaned real loud and kept thrusting, pulling at Cas’ hair and starting to sweat. Cas got the entire length of Dean’s dick inside his mouth and sucked it hard. Dean’s short and bristly pubic hairs tickled Cas’ nose as he pleasured him intensely.

Then the whole shaft throbbed deep. Dean’s body tightened up and he pushed Cas’ head down hard. His face scrunched up and tured bright red as his orgasm built up inevitably.

“K-keep at it, Cas,” Dean moaned. Big beads of sweat ran down his face, then a great loud moan screamed out and he filled Cas’ moist, warm mouth with a thick load. The angel swallowed immediately and let Dean’s cock fall flaccid inside his mouth. “Ohhh, man,” Dean sighed. He let go of Cas’ hair and dropped his hands to his lap.

Cas sat up and stared at Dean. A bubbly line of cum dribbled out from between his lips and ran down his chin. Dean wasn’t sure if it was prettier to look at the line of jizz or the piercing blue eyes. “Did you enjoy that?” Cas asked.

“Oh yeah,” Dean said, gasping. “That was…huff…amazing for your first dick sucking.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

Dean took Cas’ face into his palm and brought him in for a kiss. He pressed their lips together then ran his tongue down his chin, sucking up his trail of seed. He swallowed it then kissed Cas once more. Cas stretched his leg over Dean’s thighs and sat up in his lap, facing him. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist. “What’s up?” the man asked. Cas stared at him very seriously.

“I need you to penetrate me.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “You should’ve done that before my nut,” he said.

“Your nut?”

“Yeah, cum.”

“Forgive me.”

“It’s alright. Just give me a minute and I’ll be good to go again.”

“That is good.”

Cas put both of his hands on Dean’s shoulders and leaned into his neck. He stuck out his tongue and licked up to Dean’s earlobe.

“Oooh, Cas, what’s this? That’s new.”

“I have been telling you that the magazines are not _crap_.”

“Heh heh alright, you win; read as many of ‘em as you want.”

“Thank you.”

Dean hugged Cas tight and nuzzled his nose into his hair. He inhaled the light, pine-like and musky scent of Cas and smiled.

“Damn I love you,” Dean whispered.

“And I return that sentiment.”

Dean turned Cas’ face up to his and they kissed on the lips. They held it for a moment, smacking together enough so that Dean could taste himself inside the angel. He squeezed Cas tight and started to grow another erection.

“Are you nearly prepared for intercourse now?” Cas asked.

“Yeah,” Dean whispered. He kissed him once more and smiled against his mouth. Moaning, he let his hands wander down Cas’ back and to his pants, where he ran around to the front and undid the fly. “Sit up for a sec.”

“Yes.”

Cas stood up so that Dean could pull his pants down. The angel stepped out of them, underwear included, then sat back on Dean’s lap. He ran his hands underneath Dean’s shirt and touched over his pecs, staring deeply into the man’s eyes.

“Do you…want me?” Cas asked in a quiet voice.

“Yeah,” Dean answered in a gruff whisper. He sat back and stared at Cas. “Just sit down on it. Like I showed you before.”

“Of course,” said Cas. He spread his legs a bit more and slowly pressed Dean’s hard-on through his tight hole. Dean rocked his hips and thrust slowly, moaning.

“Oh, Cas,” he sighed, holding him by the waist tightly. “Take it in your little angel ass.”

“I am taking it,” Cas groaned. His eyes narrowed and he kept them fixed on Dean. Blue stared through green as he started to grind himself over his dick. The whole shaft slid inside tightly. “D-Dean,” Cas grunted.

“Ride it,” Dean said. He huffed heavy breaths and ground his hips upward to meet Cas’ slowly. They humped at each with a gentle rhythm at first, but it picked up quickly. Cas gripped into Dean’s shoulders tightly, leaned back and started to ride him hard. The angel’s cock flopped a little with the humping. Dean’s eyes looked down to the dick and watched it bobbing.

“You are-ungg-you are so uninhibited when we are alone,” Cas moaned. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back on his shoulders, giving Dean the perfect excuse to lean in and kiss his creamy neck. Dean’s hands climbed up Cas’ back and held onto his shoulder blades as his sucked the angel’s skin purple. “Wh-why hide in public?”

“I’ll get better,” Dean mumbled against Cas’ neck. He nibbled. “Promise.”

Now Cas started to really bounce up and down on Dean’s cock. He put a lot of pressure onto the man’s shoulders as he thrust hard. “Oh, Dean, Dean!” he screamed hotly.

“Cum, Cas,” Dean whispered, squeezing the angel more. “Just cum.”

“Ahh! Dean!”

The angel’s voice cried out loud then split into the high-pitched scream, only briefly. His whole body flashed white hot and he ripped ribbons into the collar of Dean’s shirt.

“DEEEAAAN!”

A loud shatter and the TV exploded. Dust settled in the room, Cas collapsed into Dean’s arms and everything settled.

“Damn it!” Dean yelled. He groaned rather annoyed and jabbed Cas in the side. “You slipped up, dude. Why couldn’t…ah, shit.”

Big powdery wings were splayed upon the ceiling and Cas was out cold. Despite the television destruction, Dean smiled tiredly, laid back on the sofa and kept Cas against his chest as he fell asleep.


	14. People are the Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the playground takes a sour turn, leaving all three of the boys with some new perspectives on things.

 “Mmmmmmnnn…”

A tight groan grew within Dean’s chest and slowly eased out as he woke up in the morning. A whole _morning_. Taking care of Sam and putting the rest of their lives on hold really made some big changes in Dean’s life, primarily such in the food and sleep departments.

He blinked his eyes open through the bit of morning light beaming from the windows, but startled when he immediately saw Cas staring back. The angel was still lying on his chest, with his head held up enough to be just an inch or two away from his face.

“Good morning, Dean,” he said.

“Uhh,” Dean groaned awkwardly. “Morning, Cas. How long did you sleep?”

“Five hours and thirty-seven minutes.”

“How long have you been watching me?”

“Three hours and five minutes.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Really,” he muttered.

“Yes.”

“You’re something else,” Dean said. He stretched his back and crawled his hands down to Cas’ rear, where we held the bare cheeks and squeezed just a bit. Cas bucked back into the palms but continued to stare straight at the man, and Dean smiled. “You’re horny again, huh?”

“I suppose so,” said Cas.

“I just can’t turn you off can I?”

“I don’t have an off switch.”

Dean gripped into the angel’s butt more, spreading the cheeks apart with his palms. This caused Cas to flinch and gasp, and he promptly held onto Dean’s shoulders tight.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you,” Dean swooned, pushing his growing erection up again Cas’ body. He groaned and thrust up, running the thick of his shaft between the angel’s cheeks.

“You know what to do,” Cas said in a soft voice. His lips pursed and he leaned close to kiss his lover, which was happily done. Dean opened his mouth and sucked the angel’s lower lip inside, biting it gingerly. Cas moaned into the kiss.

Keeping their chests together, Dean prodded at the back door with his cock head, begging for entry that was already granted. Their kiss broke off and Cas nuzzled into Dean’s cheek, touching the base of his earlobe with his tongue. “Dean, please,” he whispered very softly.

Taking his cue, Dean pushed himself inside with a rigorous thrust, sending waves of ecstasy rippling throughout their bodies. Cas cried out and bit down onto Dean’s ear with his eyes closed now. They ground against each other, slowly melding and turning like a tangled dance of lusty snakes. Dean kept one hand gripping Cas’ ass firm, so as to hold him ground down on the dick, but the other hand slid up, underneath his shirt and clutched at his shoulder. Dean grunted loud as he pulled Cas against him with each thrust.

“Dean,” Cas moaned desperately. His cheek rubbed into the perspiration that began to moisten Dean’s face. “ _Dean...”_ His voice was, though the usual flat, gruff tone remained a constant, very wanton and needy. His small whimpers and moans were like music to Dean’s ears and it was the sweetest, most intoxicating 80’s love ballad that filled his heart with happy thoughts.

“Ohh, damn it, Cas,” was a low murmur that Dean groaned, fucking the angel at a steady rate that bounced their bodies together, causing the sofa the creak and squeal with humorous rhythm.

Then Dean shouted very loud, threw his head back and slammed his pelvis upwards. Cas cried at the violent movement and held onto Dean harder, only to be thrown back as Dean tightened his abs and curled upwards so that he was sitting. He carried the weight of Cas on him and sat them both upright. Cas’ legs naturally stuck around Dean’s waist, poking his feet out to the armrest. Presently Dean continued to grind at him, though the mood made a definite shift from hot and heavy to tender and romantic.

Between heavy breaths, Cas cupped both of his hands around Dean’s cheeks and stared at him. Their noses touched. Dean closed his eyes and smiled just slightly, keeping his hands on Cas’ waist now and supporting their slow grinds. Several quick, sloppy kisses came and went; the last one put Cas’ bottom lip between Dean’s teeth and he pulled it to the side. The angel’s hands slid, shakily, to the back of Dean’s head and wound across the short hair.

Dean’s nails dug into Cas’ waist hard now. He scrunched his face up and his thrusts grew strong, then Cas locked his lips onto Dean’s again. They kissed, moaning and grunting, all the while Dean’s climax approached at a rapid rate. His body locked and he hugged Cas tightly. A hot load filled inside the angel’s ass all at once, and Cas, too, came. He fluttered and jittered against Dean’s body, keeping his hands on the man’s shoulder as he suppressed the need to “explode.”

But he remained pretty calm. A flash of angel dust flicked out of his back sort of like a party popper, but luckily he remained conscious. The room was still, though thick with sweat and desire, and everything was fine. Dean kept his arms around the angel real tight, with his head buried into the nape of Cas’ neck. His nose touched the hot, moist skin and tickled into his hair, which was also somewhat damp.

“Damn,” Dean cursed softly. He choked on tears.

“What has happened?” asked Cas.

“It’s nothing. Just, don’t look.” The green eyes opened just slightly to allow large, wiggly tears run out of them. His lips separated and he hugged Cas more.

“Dean?”

“I said it’s nothing,” Dean repeated. His flaccid cock squelched out of Cas’ ass and his lap began to grow warm and wet. Cas didn’t move. He just held Dean like that, still in his lap, and leaned against his head.

“Whatever the issue,” Cas said. “I’m sure it’s alright.”

“I gotta get Sam up,” said Dean, suddenly changing the subject. He promptly let go of Cas and got off the sofa. As he put his clothes back on, he told Cas to get dressed as well. “I promised him ice cream today. Not sure if that’s something you wanna do, so you can come with or stay.”

“I would prefer to join you.”

“That’s cool.”

Dean left Cas downstairs and headed to the bedroom for Sam, where was already awake. He had kicked all of his covers off and was staring up at the ceiling, holding the stuffed dinosaur by its tail. He appeared to be about a year older today.

“You alright, Sammy?”

“Yeah,” the kid sighed.

“Did you have trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah.”

Dean groaned. “Why didn’t you get me? I told you to let me know whenever you’re having trouble. You can always stay up with me.”

“’Cause you kept me up, Dean,” Sam whined. He sat up on the bed and pouted at his brother.

“What?”

“You and angel pwaying you widdle games and stuff. They awe so woud.”

Dean’s face turned bright red and he stood at the bedside awkwardly. “I-I’m sorry, Sammy. Didn’t realize you could hear us.”

“Yeah,” Sam said with a frown.

“We’ll be better from now on, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Let’s just forget about it and get dressed. I thought we could go to the park and then get that ice cream you wanted.”

Suddenly Sam’s face lit up. He jumped off of the bed and ran to Dean’s legs, hugging him. “Yay!” he shouted.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough,” Dean said between chuckles, patting Sam’s little head. “Let’s get going.”

* * *

“Jeez, do we _have_ to?”

Slouching and grumbling, Dean walked along with his brother and lover; the latter of which was insisting on holding hands.

“You agreed we would continue the exercises,” said Cas. He held his hand out to the side, open and expectant. “It is the will of the article.”

“Fine,” Dean sighed. He took Cas’ hand in his and squeezed just a bit. Sam, looking up at his surrogate parents, smiled sweetly and held Dean’s other hand.

“What is difficult about this?” asked Cas. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Nothing,” he mumbled.

“Nothing,” Sam mimicked. Dean looked down at him and smiled.

“I admit that this act gives me a slight sensation of arousal,” said Cas, which got immediately shushed by Dean.

“Don’t say that!” he hissed.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t walk around talking about being horny,” Dean grumped. His hand continued to hold Cas’. “It’s just weird.”

“I am sorry.”

“Stop doing it and we’ll be fine, okay?”

“Okay.”

The three of them stepped onto a blacktop path that wound into a playground and immediately Sam darted off. He ran to a jungle gym and tried to climb up it. There were a couple other kids on it with their moms hanging out on the benches around the park. Dean called out, “We’ll be right here, Sam!” then sat down with Cas. Finally he let go of his hand and slouched back.

“When I took this vessel,” said Cas. “I did not imagine I would be raising children.”

“Yeah you and me both,” Dean said as he rolled his eyes. “How d’you feel about it?”

“Well,” Cas exhaled loudly and raised his eyebrows up. He looked over at Dean. “I feel sympathy for every human that endures it. There is no reasonable answer for why child rearing must be so difficult.”

Dean shrugged. “Just how it is. Why do you think so many dudes bail when they knock their ladies up?”

“Knock?”

“Knocked up means pregnant.”

“I see. That is unfortunate but not unjustified.”

“That’s life, I guess.” Dean tipped his chin towards Sam, who had a couple kids talking to him now. “Hey, look at him, being a social butterfly.”

Sam stared at the kids that surrounded him. A dark-haired girl, considerably older than Sam, put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Where’s your mom?” she asked.

“I don’t have a mom,” said Sam.

“Then who did you come with?”

“My bwothuh and his angel fwuend.”

“ _Angel_?” the girl sneered. “Where’s the angel?”

Sam turned around and pointed to Cas and Dean on the bench. “Thewe,” he said. Dean stared back, smiling at first but then his face fell suspicious as he saw the girl looking mean.

“That’s just a guy, he isn’t an angel.”

“No, he is,” Sam insisted in his tiny voice. “He has wings. I can see them.”

Now the other kids there started to laugh. “He doesn’t have wings!” the girl said.

“But he does!” Sam whimpered, stamping his feet. “He has wings and he is an angel! My bwother said so, too.

“He isn’t an angel, he’s just gay,” said the girl. She smiled evilly at Sam, who was now very, very confused. “He’s gay and so is your brother!”

“What is that?” Sam asked.

Then a fat blond boy walked real close to Sam and got right into his face. “Do they have sex?” he asked.

“What is that?”

“It’s when mommies and daddies hug real tight and stuff to make kids,” the girl interjected.

“I dunno,” said Sam.

Now the fat kid leered real sharp through his narrow eyes and whispered, “You hear them making weird noises?”

“Yeah, they pway woud games at night.” All the kids laughed, but Sam began to cry. “Why is that bad!?” he yelled.

“You think he’s an angel but he’s just a faggot!” the girl sneered.

“HEY!” Suddenly the group was broken up by Dean and Cas, who had zapped right into the middle of it all. The kids all gasped, one of them screamed and ran away but the bratty girl stood her ground. Sam clung to Dean’s leg. “Who are you calling a faggot?!”

“You,” said the girl, looking up at Dean with a mousy, shitty little face. She stuck her tongue out and added, “Faggot.”

“Yeah and the angel!” the fat boy yelled.

Dean looked down at Sam. “What did you tell them?”

“But he is an angel,” Sam said in a tiny voice, avoiding eye contact with his brother. Dean sighed but then he looked back at the girl.

“Your little brother is making up funny lies,” she said. “He thinks your faggot boyfriend is an angel.”

Dean suddenly bent down to the girl’s eye level and glared at her. “You listen here and you listen good,” he said. “Don’t you _dare_ give my brother a hard time about _anything_. If he says my faggot boyfriend is an angel, then my faggot boyfriend is an angel.”

“It’s true,” said Cas, who had been standing there watching without doing much else the whole time. “I am an angel.”

“Damn it, Cas.”

“No you aren’t!” The girl yelled. “Angels aren’t real and you’re full of poopy. You’re just a stupid faggot. You’re _all_ stupid faggots and you’re gonna burn in Hell!”

Cas glared down at the girl now. His eyes flickered white just briefly and he started to get right to her level. He reached out his hand and touched her lightly on the head.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t wanna catch your gay!”

“Anabelle,” Cas said. Suddenly the girl froze. “Do not condemn my faggot boyfriend to burn in the fires of Hell. He knows it well. His decision to penetrate me will not affect his journey in the afterlife. I suggest you return home before you cause your mother to run late and she is beaten by your father again.”

“….MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” The girl suddenly ran off towards the direction of her mother, crying. Every other kid dispersed as well, all wearing looks of horror on their faces. But Dean turn to Sam and smiled.

“Sorry about that, Sammy,” he said. “I shouldn’t have let you wander around by yourself too much. Don’t worry about those punks.”

“I’m sowwy,” said Sam, hugging Dean. His brother lifted him into the air with a strain. “Why wuh they so mean?”

“I dunno. People are jerks.” They began to walk away and Cas followed with his hands in his pockets. Dean looked back at him briefly. “You okay, Cas?”

“I am wondering the same thing as Sam,” he said.

“What, why people are so mean?”

“Yes.”

“’Cause that’s people I guess. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I don’t understand,” Cas said rather sternly. He forehead wrinkled up. “Why would a _child_ wish us a lifetime in Hell? Why would my decision to romance you determine that?”

Dean sighed. “Don’t worry about it, okay? People are just like that.”

“I understand why you have been resistant to embrace your love for me.”

“…what?”

Cas stopped walking and repeated what he had just said.

“Why?” Dean asked. He set Sam down on the ground and let him go ahead and get inside Baby. “What makes you say that?”

“If a child is capable of such strong judgment, then an adult could deliver far greater pain. I am sorry, Dean. I am sorry for pressuring you.”

“You didn’t pressure me, it’s fine. I couldn’t run from the truth forever.”

“I understand, but I have tried to bring your acceptance about too quickly.”

“No, it’s fine,” Dean said. He hugged Cas. “You were doing your best and I’ve managed fine. Look how happy we are now.”

“Then why did you cry?”

“What?”

“Why did you cry earlier? After we made sex?”

“Because,” Dean said in a timid voice. He shifted on his heels and moved his lips closer to Cas’ ear. “Because it was just emotional for me I guess.”

“What was?”

“Being with you. Being in love with you. Knowing that we can’t stay like this.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean let go of the angel and looked at him sadly. “Cas,” he began. “You know we can’t keep going like this. Once Bobby comes home (if he ever does) and Sam grows up, we gotta switch gears and get back into apocalypse mode. Our relationship will be over.”

“Why would you say that? You wish for it to end?”

“No, no! I don’t mean it like that. I don’t want it, _us_ , to ever end. But it’s going to.”

Cas looked down. His forehead tightened and scrunched up in worry.

“Ah fuck, Cas. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, I understand,” Cas mumbled. “I know that you want it to last and that is what matters, but for a person who insists on finding ‘another way’, you should not condemn our relationship to one single outcome.”

“That’s true…”

“When the angels insist that you be the vessel for Michael, you claim there will be ‘another way’. As foolish at it may sound, there might be another option for our fate. Why would…”

Suddenly Cas stopped talking. His eyes wiggled.

“Cas? What? Why would what?”

The angel fell into Dean’s arms and hugged him desperately. His hands groped around on Dean’s back like a child who lost his way.

“Cas? What’s wrong?!”

“Too many human emotions,” he sighed into Dean’s neck. “Too many…”

His weight grew heavy against Dean and almost knocked him over.

“Hey! Cas!” he gasped, trying to prop the angel up. He rocked him a little but it appeared he was out cold. “God damn it!”


	15. In the Great Scheme of Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's growing up faster now, which means he'll grow hungry in his quest for knowledge. He presents Dean with some difficult questions.

“Hope you’re alright with drive-thru ice cream.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay good, ‘cause we really need to get Cas home before he flips out or something.”

Sam sat shotgun in Baby with a blank expression on his face. He pawed at the seat loosely, looking so out of place in his tiny body and the giant leather interior surrounding. “Is angel gonna be okay?”

“I wouldn’t worry about him,” said Dean, swallowing any fear he really felt on the inside.

They pulled up at a fast food chain’s drive-thru window and Dean ordered a cone for each of them. “Here ya go,” he said to Sam, giving him the ice cream.

“Thank you, Dean.” The little Winchester took it happily and eat, looking out the window as best as he could. “Angel doesn’t want any?”

“Do you ever see him eat?” Sam shook his head. “And you can just call him Cas. Don’t tell people he’s an angel.”

“Why?”

“’Cause it seems weird.”

“People don’t see his wings?”

“No.”

“Ohh…”

“Mmm,” Dean nodded a little and licked on the cone, driving back to Bobby’s house.

Speaking of Bobby, once they got home and Dean had to carry the crazily-heavy angel in to the sofa, he thought of calling the grumpy old man. He stood in the middle of the living room and dialed out, pacing across the creaky boards with his heavy boots. The phone rang and rang, then finally Bobby picked up.

“ _Yeah, Dean?_ ”

“Well hey Bobby. Just wanted to let you know that Sam’s gonna be back to normal in about a month.”

“ _Great. The guy I sent ya two do the trick?_ ”

“Sure did. When are you coming back?”

“ _I can’t tell f’sure,”_ Bobby said stiffly. “ _But I reckon by the time Sam’s all good t’go I’ll make it._ ”

“You need any help?” With the phone in his hand, Dean walked over to the sofa and looked down at Cas. He was still sleeping, or whatever altered state of consciousness had befallen upon him.

“ _Nah, I’m good. What about you, boy? You handlin’ yer little brother alright?_ ”

“Yeah. Kinda hard at first but we’re dealing with it okay. Cas is uh,…Cas is helping.”

_“Figured he’d be happy ta.”_

“What do you mean?”

“ _Nothin’. Hang in there, ya hear me?_ ”

“Um. Sure, Bobby. Thanks.”

“ _I’ll talk to ya later.”_

The phone call ended and Dean flipped it off. He put it back in his pocket then stood with his hands on his hips for a moment, staring seriously at nothing. Now Bobby had to go all cryptic on him?

“Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah.”

The younger brother was sitting at the kitchen table, scribbling crap onto a pad of paper with a pencil. He curled around his work, staring intently. Dean went over there and looked over his shoulder.

“Whatcha workin’ on, huh?”

“Nothing,” said Sam.

“Nothing? Really? Seems pretty important to be nothing.”

Sam glanced up at Dean, sneering. “Just dwawing.”

“Can I see?”

The young boy covered the paper even more. “No!” he yelled.

“Okay, okay. No need to get testy about it. But hey, listen.” Dean took a seat opposite of Sam and put his elbows down on the table. “You alright after today?”

“Yeah.”

“Those kids were really mean to you. It didn’t like, bug you or anything, did it?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Sure?”

Sam hummed. “What’s ‘gay’?”

“It’s uh, well…” Dean raised his eyebrows. Sensing a potentially difficult discussion, he got up and poured himself a big glass of whiskey. When he sat back at the table and took a healthy sip, he first announced “that’s better”, then continued thusly; “Being gay is what some people are. Now it uh, it doesn’t matter what it means, but there’s nothing wrong with it, okay? Me and Cas are gay and it’s fine. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and uh, and if anybody makes fun of _us_ or _you_ for it, then they’re wrong. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sam said quietly.

“Those kids were just stupid.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry about anything, and if you get upset or bothered, just tell me, right? Tell me or Cas.”

“Is angel okay?”

“Yeah.” Dean took another sip of alcohol and looked beyond Sam, to where Cas was still lying motionless on the sofa. “Hey Sammy? What’re his wings doing?”

Sam turned around and looked. “Thew fowded up, wike he’s sweeping.”

“Oh, alright.”

Dean tried to sneak of peek of the drawing, but Sam turned around and covered it up right before he could. Dean grunted and finished the whiskey.

“I guess he’s just a little overloaded.”

“Ovewoaded with what?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said sadly. He set the glass down gently then got up and went back to the living room, staring at Cas. Sam returned to drawing like nothing was wrong, but Dean squat down beside the angel and touched his cheek with the back of his palm, just lightly. He was cold but he was breathing. “Cas…”

It really sucked because Dean had to make food for Sam. It ended up being canned pasta heated in the microwave, just like old times. The two of them sat up pretty late, watching bad TV and doing a little extra bonding. It was weird, though endearing, to talk to Sam with a different kind of mindset. Meanwhile Cas remained in the background, snoozing on the sofa.

“Okay Sammy, time for bed.”

“Aweady?”

“Man we’ve been up forever. Cas is gonna kill me if he knows how late you’re going to bed. Come on, come on.”

“Okay.”

Dean herded Sam upstairs so he could brush his teeth, then they went to Bobby’s room and the boy went right to bed. Tiredness fell over him quite quickly.

“Here ya go,” Dean said, handing Sam his stuffed dinosaur. “Ready for bed?

“Yeah…” Sam mumbled tiredly. He rubbed his eyes, hugged the toy tight and curled into the covers. “I’m wowwied about angel.”

“Don’t. He’ll be fine. When you wake up tomorrow he’ll be back to normal, I promise. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good night, Sammy.”

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean touched the top of his brother’s head lightly then got up and headed back downstairs. He pulled off all of his clothes, save for his boxer briefs, and squeezed on the sofa alongside Cas. The angel just sort of flopped around. Dean swaddled beneath him and brought Cas onto his chest, hugging. “Don’t make me break my promise to Sammy.”

* * *

Morning came suddenly when a loud, agonizing scream rang out from upstairs. Dean startled awake, still covered in Cas’ limp body, pushed him aside and ran to Bobby’s bedroom.

“Sammy!? You okay?!”

“DEAAAAAAN!” Sam cried out. He was splayed on the bed, twisting and writhing in apparent pain. It seemed he was having one of those violent growth-spurts they had been warned about. “IT HUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS!”

“You’re gonna be alright, Sam. It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Dean ran to his brother’s side and held him. He could feel his bones twist and pop as his skin contorted with weird magic. Sam clung to Dean firmly and continued to cry, sweating even, and desperately begging for answers.

“It’s what has to happen,” Dean said, holding Sam close. “I’m sorry.”

It lasted for a few grueling minutes but then it all came to a sudden halt. Sam collapsed onto the mattress, red in the face and sweating profusely. He looked up at Dean exhaustedly.

“It’s horrible…” Sam moaned.

“I’m _so_ sorry, Sammy. I’m really, really sorry.”

“Thank you for being here,” Sam said. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Sure. I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”

Sam tossed in the sheets a bit then settled down. “I’m so tired,” he sighed.

“Go back to sleep. Whenever you’re up, we’ll make breakfast, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean did his best to smile and left Sam alone in the room again. His heart was racing and breaking, torn by the pain in Sam’s eyes and the mystery of Cas’ passing out. But right when he walked into the kitchen, he was startled to see the angel up and active.

“Good morning, Dean,” he said rather pleasantly. He was wearing the frilly apron again.

“Oh uh, hey Cas. You doin’ okay?”

“I feel fine, thank you for asking.” Cas turned to Dean and held out a mug for him. “This is for you.”

“Thanks, babe.” Dean smiled weakly and took the drink to the table, where he sat down with a thump and sighed.

“And you, Dean? Are you doing okay?”

“Yeaaah, I guess. What happened to you?”

“I had what I believe you call a ‘mental breakdown.’”

“Are you kidding?” Dean gasped.

“Why would I kid about something that serious?”

Dean shrugged. He took a sip of the coffee and suddenly grinned ear to ear. “Okay, now _that_ is Irish coffee!”

“I did the necessary research,” Cas said, beaming slightly. He turned back to the counter and started to mix something in a big bowl.

“Thanks, Cas. I’m glad you’re doing better.”

“I’m fine.”

“Good.”

Dean smiled and took another sip of the drink. He was about to set the mug onto the table but stopped when he noticed that Sam left his drawings there. Silently, Dean paged through them. The first was a bunch of squiggles, then was a boxy, black thing which was probably Baby, and finally three stick figures; the little one in the middle was obviously Sam, then next to him was one with a little bit of hair sticking up and a big dark jacket, and finally on the other side was one with messy hair and big wings. Dean stared at the drawing for a moment, silently, smiling on the inside.

“Is Sam growing more?” Cas asked.

Dean looked up from the paper and nodded. “Uh, yeah. It’s pretty bad.”

“Marco said the second month would be brutal.”

“He wasn’t kidding.”

Trying to cut any awkwardness in the atmosphere, Dean clicked on the radio. _Desperado_ was halfway through. He folded up Sam’s drawing and stuck it into his pocket, then looked over at Cas, who was now using a rolling pin.

“What are you making?” Dean asked.

“Pie,” Cas answered. He looked over his shoulder at Dean, just briefly, and smiled.

“Ah, what was that!?” Dean hollered.

“What was what?” Cas asked. He was back to rolling dough. He packed it into the bottom of a pie pan and clipped back the edges.

“Heh heh. Nothin’.”

“Very well.”

The crust baked for a little bit first then Cas took it out, laid the filling inside, covered it with a lattice and put it inside again to finish baking. He came to the table and sat down across from Dean as he waited.

“I have enjoyed being close to you,” Cas said.

“Me, too.”

“In my entire existence, I have never been involved in something this _fulfilling_.”

Dean blinked a few times and looked into his drink. It was almost empty. “What makes me so special?”

“I cannot harness the reason. It is related to destiny, which is all I know.”

“I see,” Dean said. He swallowed a few times and tried to resist the redness that he sensed coming into his eyes. “So you’re trying to say that through all eternity or however long you’re gonna live, I’m the only other soul you’ll love like this?”

Cas nodded.

Then Dean drummed his fingers on the table and looked away. “And what are you gonna do when I die?” He spat out. Can winced.

“This is,” the angel said stiffly. “This is precisely what caused my distressed yesterday.”

Dean instantly looked up and stared at Cas with dire urgency. “I’m sorry!” he said. “Are you okay?!”

“Yes, I am fine. I have come to terms with this as I was unconscious.”

“Oh, okay.” A sigh of relief and Dean settled down once more. “So?”

“ _So_ I will make the most of my time with you. And once you pass, I will carry on knowing that I succeeded in at least one thing that was written for me to accomplish.”

“Think you’ll find another?”

“No,” Cas answered immediately. “There is but one Dean Winchester for Castiel. One soul for this angel to love.”

Dean inhaled sharply. His heart was splitting in two as he listened to Cas speak so casually about very, _very_ non-casual things. He wanted to resist the urge to cry, but he was unsuccessful. It wasn’t balling or anything close, but a few tears streamed down his cheeks as he set his elbow on the table and touched his own face.

“What?” Cas asked, seeming just a tad confused.

“That’s fucking brutal,” Dean said between choking breaths of air.

“How? I am stating facts.”

“I guess,” Dean snorted and wiped his eyes with his palm. “I guess maybe it’s stupid, ‘cause if this apocalypse shit goes down, we’ll both die. Then, well…ugh, I can’t even keep thinking about it.”

“Then don’t. There’s no reason to dwell on it, especially if you are emotionally pained.”

Cas suddenly perked up and went straight to the oven. He pulled the door down and brought out the finished pie. Talk about a good distraction! Dean wiped his eyes again then moved his hands away from the table.

“Smells like my favorite kind,” said Dean.

“I did not realize strawberry was your favorite.”

“It’s not,” Dean smirked. Cas made a confused face as he cut a big, hot slice for his man and dropped it onto a plate.

“I thought you said this is your favorite kind. This is a strawberry pie.”

The angel brought Dean the pie with a fork and a napkin. He took off his apron and hung it on the oven’s handle before sitting down once more. Dean started to eat happily, with his eyes closed and a big smile.

“Dean? I am _very_ confused.”

“My favorite kind of pie is one made by my sexy little angel boyfriend.”

“That is me, right?”

Dean laughed. “Yeah. Duh. What other boyfriend or angel do I have?”

“I never expected you would label me as ‘sexy.’”

“Well,” Dean took another bite and chewed it in one cheek. “I thought you were kinda weird looking at first, but now when I see you, all I can think about is how awesome and hot you are.”

“Well thank you, Dean,” Cas said, blushing. “I’ve done my best to be appealing.”

“You’re doing a great job.”

Dean leaned over the table and kissed Cas very quickly on the lips. He left a crumb of pie crust there. Then Dean retracted to his chair, but Cas did the same thing; he leaned over the table and kissed _Dean_ on the lips. Then he smiled, eyes sparkling like a wild, icy fire and said, “My favorite kind of kiss is one from my sexy little human boyfriend.”


	16. Times They Are A'Changin'!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam grows at an increasingly fast rate, Dean eats more pie, Bobby touches base and Cas contemplates body hair.

 

“I could get used to hearing that,” said Dean. He sat back in his chair and kept working on the pie.

“Then that is ideal.”

“Yep.”

“Mmm…” Cas hummed softly while he watched Dean. His eyes were fixed right on him and slowly the angel tilted his head to the side.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I’m watching you.”

“I know. You’re always watching me.”

“Yes. Why question it?”

“’Cause you seem a little different this time.” As Dean took another bite, he pulled the fork from his lips and it scraped his teeth a little. “But I can’t figure out why.”

“I’m happy,” said Cas. His mouth was still a straight line but his eyes definitely resonated with something pleasant. “I’m very happy.”

Dean causally looked down at the remaining bite of pie on his plate. He poked at it with his fork and said, quietly “You’re cute when you’re happy.”

“Thank you.”

He finished his breakfast and pushed the plate out a few inches. “Awesome,” he said under his breath.

“It’s good to know that you enjoyed it,” said Cas. His blank face stayed steadily staring at Dean, but he slowly reached over the table and touched Dean’s hand. The angel’s fingers delicately entwined with Dean’s, moving with a bit of clumsiness that was somehow endearing. He blinked slowly.

“What are you thinking?” Dean asked in a soft, gruff whisper.

“I am thinking about what I am always thinking.”

“And? What’s that?”

“You.”

“Really? Always?”

“Perhaps that was an overstatement, forgive me. There are times where I am forced to ponder other ideas. However in general I am thinking about you.”

“How much is there to think about? I mean, I’m just one guy. Can’t be _that_ interesting.”

“There is enough,” said Cas. He squeezed the man’s fingers gingerly now. “Mostly the thoughts recirculate, but I enjoy that.”

“Alright, that’s cool. So what about me are you thinking?”

“I am pondering the usefulness of making sex right now.”

Dean’s eyebrows rose. “You need to tell yourself when it’s useful?”

“Yes.”

“Shit, it’s _always_ useful.”

“Then we should.”

“You make it sound so damn mechanical.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Just come here.”

Cas blinked away in an instant and reappeared just as quickly now sitting, facing Dean in his lap. He wrapped his arms around the man’s waist and hugged him. “Dean,” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

“I like to say your name. That is all.”

“Oh, okay. Well I like saying your name, too.”

Dean pushed Cas forward against the edge of the table, then slowly stood up, moving the chair out from behind him. He slid Cas’ back along the tabletop so he was laying down. The angel didn’t resist or hesitate a moment as Dean pulled his legs up and slid off his pants, he simply stared up at him with wide eyes.

“This what you want?” Dean asked. He unzipped his own fly and released the growing erection within.

Cas nodded and wet his lips. “Yes,” he whispered.

The man grasped at the bottom of his own dick and pressed it between Cas’ cheeks, keeping the angel’s legs hoisted up with his knees pointing towards his chest. The apron got bunched up with his shirt, creased a hundred times across his chest and to his chin, but Cas just stared up at Dean and ignored it. He even ignored how counterproductive it was since flour from the apron was getting everywhere, his shirt included.

Dean didn’t even think twice, of course, and he prodded himself inside. As his length was swallowed up, he narrowed his eyes tight and watched its progress. Soon his dick disappeared within the tight angel ass and he could build up a rhythm.

“Does that feel good?” Dean asked in a breathy whisper.

“Yes,” Cas replied. He bit down on his lower lip, closed his eyes and rolled his head back on the table. His hands grabbed at the back of his own thighs to keep his body pinned down.

“Fuck,” Dean moaned. “Fuck it feels good.”

“It does,” Cas agreed with a whimper.

Dean’s hands reached down to Cas’ arms, where he pinned him by the bicep. Sweat that already started to build up was making the fabric of Cas’ shirt quite sticky beneath his hands.

As the angel wiggled intensively beneath him, Dean delivered hard, merciless thrusts from his hips, slamming into the tight hole viciously. He grunted and gruffly strained as his cock throbbed from the sensations. The legs of the table squealed with each thrust. It grew increasingly rapid, from a steady rhythmic aching to a quick, nonstop cry. Cas buckled himself and opened his mouth wide, moaning loudly as his ass was pummeled hard by his boyfriend.

“Shh!” Dean hissed. “Don’t--unf--wanna wake up—unf--Sammy.”

“Right, sorry,” Cas huffed quickly. His fingers tried to grab at the table but they just kept slipping on the surface. “It’s increasingly—aahhh!—it’s increasingly difficult to withhold these noises.”

Dean watched the angel’s face sigh in desperation. He slowed down just briefly and made long thrusts, pulling his cock out almost entirely and then sliding it all the way back in. Cas groaned out wantonly, shivering all over. Then Dean just worked the tip of his dick, in and out very fast.

“Dean!” Cas cried. “Deaann!”

A small load shot out from Cas’ dick, quite unnoticed as usual. Sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t, but for the most part when it did Dean would look the other way. Not this time. Now it seemed rather appealing and he even took one of his hands to it and smeared a bit of the jizz around on Cas’ thigh. Still humping quite rigorously, Dean lightly touched the sweaty, sticky ball sack that bounced around just above his own bit of pubic hair.

“Dean?” Cas asked, sounding breathy and desperate.

“Mmmm,” was all Dean could answer. He kept thrusting at him but his face was very curious.

“Please increase your speed, Dean, please.”

“Right,” said Dean. He smiled big and looked back up at Cas. Using both hands, he spread Cas’ legs apart and pushed his palms down on his chest. He pulled at the necktie, now fucking him with an intensity that was quickly knocking the air out of them both. Cas stared back at Dean with his mouth open and even a bit of drool running out over his lips. Dean stared back. He stared back and he slammed that angel so hard that right when they climaxed at the same time—

CRACK!

“The fuck was that?!” Dean yelled, shouting from his hard orgasm. Cas moaned long, low tones as his body shook all over. A fine layer of angel dust extended in a slightly wing-shaped formation on the table, and even a bit on the floor.

Dean pulled out in an instant and looked around. “Ah, hell,” he cursed. “One of the legs broke.”

Even though he was noticeably wiped out, Cas sat up on the table suddenly with a look of deep concern. “One of your legs broke?” he asked.

“No, no. One of the _table_ legs broke.”

Cas slid off of the table and put his pants back on.

“Uh, Cas?” Dean asked.

“Yes?” The angel looked beneath the table and touched the leg that had split. Instantly the wood bound together again. “Yes, Dean? What?”

“You probably shouldn’t put your pants on when all that cum is gooping out of your ass.”

“I have a space for it.”

“A _space_? What d’you mean?”

“I remove it on my own and keep it.”

Dean stared. “You _keep_ it?!” He gasped, growing in disgust.

“It is a part of you. I can’t get rid of it.”

“Where the heck are you keeping it?”

“Not on Earth, don’t worry.”

“Man, that’s sick. That’s like serial killer stalker sick.”

“I take offense at that statement,” said Cas. He pressed the apron flat across his thighs and leered at Dean. “I am sentimental over parts of you. It is nothing _sick_.”

“Sorry,” Dean apologized. “I guess it’s not weird for an angel? But it’s kinda creepy for people.”

“Then I am sorry for being ‘kinda creepy.’”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Save all the jizz you want to. Just don’t save my shit.” Dean leaned in close to Cas and kissed him on the cheek, then he smoothed back the top of the angel’s hair and smiled. “I guess it is cute, in a way. A weird way but still cute.”

Cas leaned back against Dean. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose into the crook of Dean’s neck. “It’s another way to remember you. And I enjoy the smell.”

“The smell?” Dean said. He hugged Cas lightly and closed his eyes as well.

“Anything that has been inside or around you long enough develops your smell.”

“And what do I smell like?”

“Heavenly things that I cannot describe in human terms,” said Cas. “But also earthbound tones similar to a light, sweaty musk, old leather and stale alcohol.”

“Interesting,” hummed Dean. He took a hand and turned Cas by the cheek so that he looked right at him. The angel’s blue eyes quivered happily, gazing back. Then Dean kissed him. He kissed him long and slow, smacking their lips loudly as they opened and closed. When they broke it off just momentarily, Dean whispered, “I love you so much, Cas.”

“And I return that sentiment,” was Cas’ quite reply.

They continued to kiss romantically until suddenly Cas broke it off. He pulled away and began to laugh.

“Are you _laughing?!”_ Dean asked, not sure if he should be surprised or angry. Either way he laughed, too.

“Yes!” Cas chortled. He giggled and raised his fingers to his lips. “Oh, Dean!”

“What?”

The laughter subsided now and Cas blushed. He clapped his palm over his lips and spoke in a muffled voice. “You were thinking…hm, hm,…you were thinking about me wearing _only_ this apron and you thought it was silly.”

Dean chuckled as well. “Y-yeah, I was,” he admitted (no point avoiding it, Cas knew what he heard. Or saw. Whatever). “And it _is_ silly.”

“I don’t understand what induces humor about the image, but when it made you laugh I couldn’t contain myself.”

“Okay, okay. Enough a’ that.” Dean smiled lightly and shook his head. “I’m gonna go check on Sam.”

“Of course,” said Cas. When Dean went upstairs, Cas took off the apron and laughed again as he hung it up.

“Hey Sammy? You doing okay?”

“Yeah.”

Dean peered into the bedroom and saw Sam sitting up.

“Sure?” Dean asked.

“Yep.”

“You hungry? Cas made pie.”

“Okay.”

“Well come on and get downstairs,” Dean said. He stepped into the room and motioned for Sam to get up. “Sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Sam groggily rolled off the bed and followed his brother downstairs. Together they stomped into the kitchen and Sam took a seat at the kitchen table (eww…). Dean walked on by to the study and told Cas to get his brother some pie.

“Of course,” Cas agreed. He sliced of a piece of strawberry and plopped it onto a plate, then set it in front of Sam.

“Thanks, angel,” said Sam. He seemed to be about 7 now, and he was still very small and thin for his age, as expected. He began to eat but looked at the table, frowning. “What is this?” he asked, running his finger through some of the residual angel powder.

“Nothing,” said Cas. He instantly went to the table and cleared the dust away. Sam looked at him strangely.

“Why did you do that?” the boy asked.

“Because it is not important,” said Cas. “Think nothing of it and eat your pie.”

“O-okay,” said Sam. He went back to the pastry but kept eying Cas oddly.

“You guys alright in there?” Dean called out.

“We are fine,” Cas replied. “But Sam is acting unusually reserved.”

“Nu uh,” Sam protested.

“What happened, Sam?” Cas asked.

“Nothing.”

“I am an angel of The Lord, Sam. You can tell me.”

The young boy slowly turned his head and stared at Cas sadly. “It’s Lucifer.”

Cas’ face turned very serious. “What is he doing?”

“Talking to me. And telling me to ‘give in’ or something?”

Dean, who had been listening, came into the kitchen suddenly and jumped in between them. “Woah!” he shouted. “Sammy, you gotta ignore that guy.”

“Yes,” added Cas. “You must resist his bargains.”

Sam looked concerned. “Why does he bother me?” he asked timidly.

“Just forget about that guy, okay?” Dean said. “Take your pie in here and we can watch TV. Oh, and thanks for fixing it, Cas.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sam grabbed up his fork and plate and followed his brother over to the study, where they sat together on the sofa and resumed mindlessness for a while. Eventually Cas joined them. He sat down next to Dean and held his arm. Dean looked over at the angel and smiled with utter contentedness, then he glanced to the other side and tousled Sam’s hair. It felt strange; basically for the first time in his life, Dean was experiencing what it felt like to have a whole family.

* * *

A couple days and growing pains later, Sam was starting to shoot up in height. Puberty was dangerously around the corner, and basically Dean had to explain the changes to Sam _and_ Cas.

“It’s when you start—getting—older—and—stuff,” Dean said, stiffly. He paced around the room as Sam and Cas sat silently. Dean made wild, tense gesticulations as he spoke. “You get—attracted—to—girls, and you start—growing—body—hair. Don’t you know this?!”

Sam shook his head and Cas said, “Is body hair a bad thing?”

Dean slouched his shoulders with a big, uneasy sigh. “I’m not a sex ed teacher and I’m not gonna answer a bunch of questions. I just want to get everyone up to par on the changes Sammy’s about to go through.”

“I don’t wanna change,” Sam grumped. “I don’t wanna get attracted to girls and I don’t want body hair.”

“It’s what happens. Happens to everyone.”

“Body hair is bad?” Cas prodded. “Is it, Dean? Is body hair bad?”

Dean groaned. “Cas, we’ll talk about it later.”

“Then it’s bad?”

“Cas!”

“Deaaan!” Sam whined. “I don’t wanna grow up!”

“Sammy, you’re going to, I’m sorry. I didn’t really want to either. Nobody does.”

“Really? Nobody?”

Dean shrugged. “Sure, I guess?”

“And then I’m gonna have big stupid responsibilities?”

“Yeah. But not like most people.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well uh, we aren’t exactly a normal family, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh,” said Sam. “Ohhh. O-okay. I get it.” He looked down and wrinkled his nose. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I go read in my room?”

“It’s not your room. But yeah go ahead.”

“Thanks bro!” Sam’s smile sparkled and he ran instantly ran upstairs to Bobby’s room, jumped right onto the bed and buried himself in a book on Greek folklore.

Downstairs, Dean flopped on the sofa with a tired sigh. “I didn’t sign up for this,” he groaned, looking at Cas. The angel was staring forward with a very stern expression. “Yo, Cas. What’s the problem?”

“Is my body hair unappealing to you?” he asked.

“I don’t really care.”

“Are you positive? It doesn’t make me unattractive to you?”

“Not really.”

“Alright.” Now Cas leaned back against the cushion and grew a little more calm in the face. He took Dean’s hand in his and squeezed it. “Sam will be fine, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know. But I still worry.”

“You _always_ worry about Sam. It seems to be your cosmic fate.”

“Comic fate? I guess. Hey, think you could get me a drink?”

Cas immediately flashed to the kitchen, fixed Dean a cocktail then reappeared in the same spot on the sofa. “Thanks, babe,” said Dean as he took the drink. He sipped it then smacked his lips. “Not bad. You want a taste?”

“I’m indifferent.”

Dean smirked and leaned over to Cas’ face, where he kissed him gently on the lips. One little “pop!” of their mouths together and he moved back.

“Still indifferent?” asked the Winchester.

“No.”

“Haha okay, then what?”

“That kiss has given me a predilection towards tasting your drinks.”

“That’s good, I guess?”

“If you enjoy kissing me then yes, it’s good.”

Dean smirked at his boyfriend and kept drinking. The room was very quiet, save for a slight tinkling of ice in the glass.

“You know,” Dean began, just in a gravely whisper. Cas looked at him as he spoke. “I’ve been doing some thinking lately. Maybe if—“

He was interrupted by a cellphone ringing.

“Sorry,” Cas apologized. “I have no control over this.” He fumbled for his phone then glanced at it once before answering. “Yes,” he said. Dean looked down into his drink and frowned, unable to hear who he was talking to. The amber alcohol glinted through and beyond the ice like an autumn sunset. “I can do that. I will be there.” Cas ended the call and stood up.

“Who was that?” Dean asked, still staring into the glass.

“It was Bobby. He’s ready to come home.”

 


	17. Bobby's Back in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby returns, so Dean and Cas have to work hard to keep their love hidden. Also, Sam is starting to become a sassy teen.

 

“Woah, wait! Cas!” Dean shouted but it was too late; the angel was gone. “God damn it. Uhh…”

Quickly he ran around the house and brushed up any angel dust that was left behind from previous sexy-times. He moved around pretty flustered, expecting them back at any time.

“Dean?”

The guy jumped and yelled, but for no reason.

“I thought you were reading, Sammy?” Dean asked, trying to remain cool. He cleared his throat.

“I was. But I heard you making a lotta noise and I got curious. What’s going on?”

“Bobby’s coming back.”

“Uncle Bobby? Uncle Bobby’s coming back?” A smile grew on Sam’s face.

“Yep,” said Dean. He tried to look happy but it was pretty difficult. Any minute, Cas and Bobby would pop back into the house and then Dean would have to put up some crazy charade, stepping back on all the progress he had made.

“Feels like I haven’t seen Bobby in years,” said Sam.

“Yeaaaah I wish,” Dean groaned. He looked around the house for anything else potentially suspicious, all the while Sam stood around awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

“You don’t wanna see Uncle Bobby?”

“It’s complicated, Sam. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ugh, that’s all you ever say, Dean. ‘Don’t worry,’ ‘forget about it.’ What, I’m not old enough for that stuff? I’ll understand.”

“Yeah I’m sure you will, I just don’t want to tell you, okay?”

Sam sighed. “Okay, fine.”

“I’m _sorry_ ,” Dean said. “Really, I am. But you just aren’t old enough to know. Is that fair?”

“Ugggghh no, it’s _so_ not fair.” Sam folded his arms and stomped over to the couch. “You’re my brother. What’s so hard about telling me stuff?”

“You’ll understand one day,” Dean grunted. “It’ll be sooner than you realize.”

“Meehh,” Sam sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Stupid.”

“Hey! You do not call me stupid!” Dean snapped. He pointed one finger at Sam. “I might be your brother and I might…”

The dreaded sound flapped into the room and Cas returned with Bobby of course. Dean turned around and stared at them in horror.

“Uncle Bobby!” Sam cheered.

“Well hey there, Sam. Yer lookin’, uh, young.”

“How was your trip?”

Cas and Dean exchanged looks.

“It was alright,” said Bobby. “Guess you’ve had an in’rresting couple weeks, huh?”

“Weeks? Yeah, I guess.”

“Been keepin’ yer brother in line, have ya?” Bobby continued, wheeling over to his desk.

“Are you asking me or Sam?” Dean interjected.

“Both, I guess,” was Bobby’s answer. He took a book from his lap and set it on the desk.

“Dean’s been cool,” Sam said in between, clicking his tongue. In the meantime, Dean walked over to where Bobby was and looked over at the book.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Can I git some work done without tellin’ ya what I’m doin’?” Bobby grumped as usual.

“Nice to see you again, too,” Dean said. He widened then rolled his eyes and went over to the sofa next to Sam.

“When was the last time any of ya left the house?” Bobby asked. He leafed through several pages of the book, squinting at each.

“We have been busy,” said Cas. “Right, Dean?”

“Yeah. Really busy.”

“Make any progress on this vessel crap?” asked Bobby.

“Well, kinda,” said Dean, but Cas interrupted with a solid “No.”

Bobby grunted. “That’s just great. So what’s been keepin’ ya so busy?”

“God, what do you think?” Dean huffed. “Sam!”

“It’s my fault?” the younger Winchester asked.

“No it ain’t your fault,” Bobby interjected angrily. “It’s that idjit sittin’ next t’ya.”

“My brother?” Sam asked and Bobby nodded.

“Hey, it’s been hard!” Dean yelped. “You know what it’s like to change a diaper?! And watch Sam scrape his knees?! And have to put a Band-Aid on it and hold him as he cries?”

“Where’n the hell do ya think I’ve been for the last _whole life_ a’ yers?!” Bobby shouted. “I’ve done all that before ya even knew who Sam was.”

Dean glared hard at Bobby. “Seriously?” he said. “We’re seriously gonna have an argument like this?”

“Yer the one bein’ so dang arrogant about it,” said Bobby. He looked at the book again, shaking his head. “Actin’ like yer the only one who ever did anythin’ good fer Sam.”

Sam reached out and tugged at Dean’s arm. “Um, Dean?” he asked in a timid voice, but his brother just shook him off and walked away towards Cas.

“I need some time alone,” Dean grumbled under his breath. As he passed by Cas, the angel touched his shoulder and suddenly they both disappeared.

“What happened?” Sam asked. Bobby just rolled his eyes.

“That’s yer brother for ya,” the older man replied. “Why don’cha come ‘ere and help me out with somethin’.”

Sam got up and walked over to Bobby’s desk, leaning over to see what he had laid out in front of him.

“What d’ya make a this?” Bobby asked.

“It’s hieroglyphics, right?”

“Still smart, I see.”

“Still? Did I get stupid?”

“No, nothin’ like that.”

“Hey Bobby, can I ask you something?” Sam sat his thin, tweeny body down on a corner of the desk and frowned.

“Sure, boy.”

“The last couple years have felt really, really weird.”

“Years?”

“Yeah, I dunno. Like are Cas and Dean raising me right? It feels _odd_.”

Bobby looked up at the boy and narrowed his eyes pensively. “Years?”

* * *

Dean looked around. Bobby’s house was gone and he was in the middle of a forest now. Cas stood behind him.

“When I said I need some time alone,” said Dean. “I meant just walking out of the house for a little while.”

“I’m sorry. Do you wish to return?”

“Well, maybe a little time out won’t hurt.” Dean put his hands in his pockets and walked around slowly. Cas followed. “Where are we, anyway?”

“Siberia.”

Dean looked back at Cas. “Siberia? You took me to fucking Siberia?”

“I found the least populated location that did not have uninhabitable temperature extremes.”

Cas walked alongside his partner and took his hand. “What will become of us now?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“If Bobby is home, will we grow apart?”

Dean swallowed stiffly. “I-I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t want it to, but we should lay low for a while.”

“Very well,” Cas said and looked away sadly.

“Hey,” Dean said. “What’s wrong?”

“Your love for me is fading.”

“What?! Why would you say that?”

“We made such remarkable progress recently, yet now we are regressing. I had hoped that you would be more open about our relationship.”

“I am open,” Dean retorted. He squeezed Cas’ hand a bit and looked at him sadly. “And I love you, still. That’s not gonna change. Like you said; destiny. If I’m the only soul for this angel to love, then that’s what it is and I won’t stop it. But Bobby is…well, Bobby is Bobby. I can’t really walk around telling him I’m gay. So let’s just keep it quiet until I can figure out what to do, okay?”

“I understand.”

Dean let go of Cas’ hand and instead grabbed both of his shoulders. He made them face together and kissed him on the lips, just softly.

“I won’t stop loving you, okay?” Dean whispered.

“Okay.”

* * *

The façade was up. Dean and Cas had to take a little distance while Bobby was around, and all they could do was hope that Sam didn’t mention any of that stuff to him in their absence. They went back to hitting the books and working hard on finding an apocalypse-sized solution. But some habits were difficult to break.

“Ain’t that nice a’ ya?” Bobby said to Cas as he rolled up to the kitchen table. Sam and Dean were already sitting, and Cas put down a big stack of pancakes in front of them.

“These are favorable, yes?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, sure are,” said Dean. “Thanks…Cas.”

The angel smiled just a bit at Dean, as Sam put a whole bunch of pancakes onto his plate.

“Jeez, Sammy. You feeding an army or something?” Dean chortled.

“He’s a growin’ boy,” said Bobby. “Gonna need all th’ carbs he can get.”

“I was reading about carbs today,” Sam said as he shoveled food into his mouth. “There are monosaccharides and disaccharides. That’s simple and co-“

“Okay enough nerd talk,” blabbed Dean. “We’re trying to save the world and Bill Nye over here’s learning the difference between a soda and a bowl of oatmeal.” He chuckled to himself and took a sip of coffee.

Cas forced a toothy grin. “He’s funny,” he said to Bobby, who looked up at the angel and frowned.

“It’s just reading, Dean,” said Sam. “And it wouldn’t kill you to pick up a book one day, too.”

“Oh! What? Are you kidding?” Dean gruffed. He tossed his fork onto the table with a _clang!_ “You think I’ve never read a book?!”

“You’re always just watching TV or drinking beer or touching Ca—“

“Stop!” Dean yelled. “Just stop it Sam, okay? Adults are trying to have breakfast here.”

“Smooth,” Bobby added. “Smooth parentin’, Dean.”

“Yeah only I’m not his parent.”

“Doin’ a pretty good job actin’ like yer dad, I think.”

Dean guzzled his coffee and glared at Bobby over the top of the mug.

“Dean?” Cas asked softly.

“Don’t talk shit about dad,” Dean said, totally ignoring Cas.

“I ain’t talkin’ shit about ‘im. Just sayin’ yer doin’ a good job actin’ like ‘im is all.”

“Dean?” Cas asked once more, urgency growing in his voice.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Dean smirked just a bit and finished his coffee.

“Dean?” Again, the angel asked, this time much louder.

“Yeah what?” Dean finally answered.

“I need to speak with you.”

“Okay.”

“Alone.”

“Alright. Hold on.”

Dean got up from the table and followed Cas out of the kitchen, all the while Sam just stared in shock, wondering what the bit deal was. “ _Bobby, what’s the big deal about dad?”_ he could be heard asking as they left the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked Cas in a gravely whisper. The angel grasped at Dean’s shoulders and pulled him close.

“I need you,” he said. “I cannot function in this manner.”

“I know, I know. It’s really rough, but if you can just—“

“I _need_ you, Dean.” His voice turned into a desperate plea now, digging into the fabric of Dean’s shirt. He stared up at him with his blue eyes sparkling with desire.

“Right now!?” Dean inhaled. He glanced around.

“I. Need. You.”

Without any additional words spoken, Dean turned Cas around to face the wall, where he pinned him there and started to undo his fly. The black pants dropped just to his knees, exposing his firm butt to Dean’s crotch. Working quickly and under pressure, Dean whipped out his rapidly hardening dick and pressed it between Cas’ cheeks. He slid his way inside, biting his lower lip to keep quiet. Cas bucked his ass back and arched his spine, keeping both palms smacked against the wall. His fingers lightly curled as the sensation overtook him. A bit out sound started to escape his lips, and immediately Dean leaned forward and clapped his hand over Cas’ mouth. His other hand grabbed the angel’s waist and pulled him back as he began to fuck him hard.

Working his core at a rapid velocity, Dean made a series of short, quick thrusts in Cas’ tight hole, causing his cock to throb hard and deep. They both tried to keep their heavy, huffy breathing at a minimum. Bobby and Sam could still be heard talking just on the other side of the wall.

“ _It’s just sorta Dean’s problem,_ ” said Bobby.

“ _Gosh. I dunno what to say_ ,” Sam answered with a sigh.

Dean’s fingers clawed at Cas’ hip deeper, bouncing his booty to his hips with a strong force. Cas closed his eyes and focused very, very hard to keep his ecstatic cries hushed behind Dean’s sweaty hand.

Their bodies pumped together and increased their speed quickly. Dean rolled his head back on his neck and frowned, trying _so_ hard to be quiet. He wanted nothing more than to shout, scream, cry out for the pleasure he was experiencing, but alas. He pressed his lips together tight and slowed down. Cas’s body shook intensely and he wiggled with what almost looked like pain.

Dean leaned forward a little and pushed his chest to Cas’ back, fucking him even harder for a moment. The air thickened. Dean’s face turned bright red as his orgasm was achieved and he pumped Cas full of cum.

Relief. Sweet, sweaty, sticky relief.

The angel’s grip on the wall loosened and his hands slid down slowly, then Dean released his hand from Cas’ mouth and brought both of his arms around the angel’s waist, where he hugged him just momentarily. He snuck his mouth right up to Cas’ ear and whispered, “did you cum?”

“Yes,” Cas responded, a little too loud.

“Shhh.”

They kissed sloppily for a few seconds. Cas’ cheeks were red and his eyes were sparkling. Sweat was running down his forehead.

“We’re a mess,” Dean whispered.

Cas touched Dean’s cheek and the sweat instantly dried, and then he did it to himself with the same result. Dean exhaled real loud and tucked his dick away, not after pulling Cas’ pants up and straightening out his shirt.

“Alright,” said the man. “Let’s pretend that never happened.”

“Why would we want to forget?”

“No, no. Not actually. I mean, act like Bobby and Sam don’t know.”

“Bobby and Sam _don’t_ know,” Cas said, looking confused.

“Exactly.” Dean winked and walked back to the kitchen, taking his seat once more.

“Took ya long enough,” said Bobby.

“Dean, are you okay?” Sam asked.

“Y-yeah, why?”

“About dad, I mean.”

“Yes I’m fine. Don’t talk about dad.”

“O-Okay,” Sam stuttered. He lifted his empty plate to Cas and said “I’m done, thanks!”

Cas nodded and took it to the sink.

“So what’s the good word?” Dean asked, trying to act casual. He sat back in his chair and adjusted his pants just a bit. “Hey Cas could I get some more coffee?”

“Of course,” the angel said and came by for the mug.

“What good word?” Bobby asked, looking around Cas.

“What’s the next step?”

“Beats me,” said the older man with a shrug. His eyes suddenly narrowed and he looked at Dean’s shirt. “Hey, what is _that?”_

“What is what? I don’t, what? What is what?” Dean looked at where Bobby was staring and saw he had streaks of angel dust on him. Suddenly his face turned bright right. “It’s just some dust. You know. Your place is really dusty, so I—“

“Huh,” Bobby hummed to himself. He reached out and picked a little off of Dean with his finger. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say this was celestial in nature.”

“Hah! What? What are you talking about?” Dean asked, laughing so damn nervously. “It’s nothing! Just some crap from your furniture!”

Cas observed Bobby’s actions from over his shoulder. He looked at Dean, who grimaced back. Cas nodded and lifted his hand, making a little twisting motion and suddenly the powder was gone from Bobby’s hand. It was gone from Dean’s shirt.

“Ahem, what were you talking about, Bobby?” Dean asked.

Bobby looked at his hand and made a face of puzzlement. “I thought…”

Dean shrugged and smirked boastfully. Cas brought him more coffee and he took it cheerfully. “Thanks,” he said (greatly suppressing the urge to say “babe”).

Bobby grunted and wheeled his chair away, huffing to himself, “ _balls_.”


	18. We're an Unusual Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have to keep their love a secret from Bobby, but it's going to be hard with Sam around.

“Hey, Sammy? You doing okay?”

Dean knocked on the bathroom door gently. His brother had been in there for a while.

“Why are you always asking if I’m okay?” Sam replied. Dean didn’t know it, but he was hiding behind a book.

“That’s just what I do.”

“Okay, well I’m fi-ine.”

“Jeez. Alright, alright.” Dean rolled his eyes and walked away, shrugging. Under his breath he muttered, “Just trying to help.”

He went downstairs and flopped on the couch, folding one leg over the other and relaxing against the cushions. He could hear Cas moving around in the kitchen with a delicate swiftness, no doubt working on something good for dinner.

Before Dean could really settle down and relax, Bobby tossed a book right onto his stomach. “The hell?!” Dean shouted.

“I ain’t gonna watch you sit on yer ass all day, boy!” Bobby bitched. “You even care about th’ apocalypse anymore?”

“Yeah, duh,” said Dean, rolling his eyes. He pushed the book off of himself and gazed at Cas.

“So git off yer ass and help me with this research!”

“Mmm,” Dean agreed absentmindedly. Cas’ trench coat and suit jacket were draped one of the chairs, so he was just walking around in his button-up and pants. Dean’s eyes remained fixed on Cas’ butt, casually sauntering around slowly with the rhythm of his cooking.

“Dean!”

“Yeah,” Dean said dreamily. He adjusted the seat of his pants.

“Dang it, Dean!”

“Huh?” He looked over at Bobby again, who was making a frumpy face. “What’s the problem?”

“This is serious business!”

“Yeah I know. And?”

Bobby grunted. “You been doin’ drugs or somethin’?”

“Nah, not recently.” Dean sighed and smiled. He really wanted Cas to walk up to him, undressing slowly, then get down on his knees and start toying with Dean’s fly. He liked to watch those sparkly eyes gazing upon him as the angel did naughty things.

“Ya know the clock is only tickin’!”

“Mmm.”

“Dean?”

“ _Mmm_.”

“Dang it, Dean! What’s gotten into ya?!”

Dean jumped out of his fantasy. “Huh?”

“I’m startin’ ta feel like you don’t even care about all a’ this anymore!”

“Oh, yeah I care, I care. Angels inside me or whatever,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Inside angels or whatever.”

“Now that don’t make a lick a’ sense,” Bobby grunted. “Git yer ass over here and pick up a damned book, for God’s sake.”

“Right, right.” Dean, shaking his head, grudgingly got off of the sofa and slopped over to Bobby’s desk, where he was handed yet another big, boring book about whatever. He took up a chair and started leafing through it.

“Sure yer alright there, boy?” Bobby asked.

“I’m fine,” said Dean. His eyes glazed over as he stared at the book. Then Cas stepped into the study and Dean immediately perked up.

“I calculate that dinner will be ready in twelve minutes,” the angel told them.

“Great. Thanks, Cas,” said Bobby.

Dean flashed a big smile and nodded. “Tell Sam to come down, okay?”

“I will,” Cas answered and walked out of sight.

Bobby watched Dean as his eyes stayed glue on Cas leaving the room. “Somethin’ different about ya,” he mumbled. “That’s fer sure.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked and turned his head real quick to face Bobby, who was looking at him through narrow eyelids. Dean cleared his throat twice.

“Nothin’,” Bobby insisted. “Now git outta my way. Yer in my flight path an’ the dinner that angel a’ yers is cookin’ smells fantastic.”

“Wha-wha-what-- I don’t own him, Bobby!” Dean protested, turning red in the face. He scooted his chair out of the way so that Bobby could wheel by, and he did.

“Well ya ain’t got shares in him but he sure wait on ya hand an’ foot, don’t he?”

“He’s like that with all of us! HE’S LIKE THAT WITH ALL OF US!” Dean slammed the book shut and pounded his fist on it, glaring at Bobby but all he got in return with a sly chuckle. “Balls!” Dean snorted.

“Don’t be stealin’ m’lines now, boy!” Bobby hollered, now from the kitchen, but a more intense laugh. Dean got up and followed him, only to see Cas pretending to laugh, too.

“Yeah shut up, all of you,” Dean grumbled and plopped himself down at the table. He grabbed a glass that he had used earlier and slid it in Cas’ direction. “And whiskey. Double.” The angel nodded and poured it full of alcohol, then Dean quickly took it back and drank a considerable amount in one sip.

“What’s next, yer pipe an’ slippers?” Bobby laughed, but Dean just shot an angry glare.

“Dean has a pipe and slippers?” Cas asked. He made this innocent face while he brought a platter of steaks over to the table.

“Uggh, Cas, ohh,” Dean groaned when he saw the sizzling meat set down in front of him.

“This is acceptable?”

“Fuck, it’s more than acceptable.” He stabbed a big fat one and dropped it onto his plate, all the while Bobby sat back and watched the two of them interacting.

“This food is for all of you,” said Cas. “Help yourself, Bobby.”

“Right, naw I know. Thanks a bunch, Cas.” The older man took some of the meat and began to cut it up on his plate. “Where’s Sam at?”

“I dunno,” said Dean. “SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”

Suddenly a series of _thump thump thumps_ and Sam came dashing down the stairs. “Sorry, sorry!” he said, jogging to the table. He sat down quickly and caught his breath in an instant. “I keep getting distracted.”

“It’s forgivable,” said Cas. He put a bowl of mashed potatoes down next to the meat and Dean stared at them, salivating only a _little_.

“Hey thanks, Cas,” said Sam. He grabbed a whole steak and started to cut pieces.

“So you’re eating steak now, huh?” Dean asked, grinning while he chewed food in the side of his mouth.

“Uh, yeah.”

“What brought that on?”

“I dunno,” Sam shrugged. “I seriously need food so I don’t really care what it is. Oh, no offense to you, Cas. You’re a great cook.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“How’re ya feelin’ anyway, Sam?” Bobby asked.

“My back,” Sam said with a groan. “It doesn’t stop aching. Feels like it’s getting longer or something.”

“Mm,” Dean hummed, looking down at his food again.

“Try takin’ a pain reliever or somethin’,” Bobby suggested. Then he grinned. “Or maybe yer brother can ask his angel to give you a massage.”

“Hey!” Dean shouted.

“Is that what you would like, Sam?” Cas asked.

“Nah, I’m fine,” Sam answered quietly. All the while, Bobby was laughing. Dean glared at him.

“Ah, lighten up, ya idjit,” Bobby said to the older Winchester. “This’s probly one of the last chances any of us will ever have at feelin’ like a real family.”

And that’s when it dawn on him. That’s when it dawned on _all_ of them. Bobby was right; in that very moment, the four of them were gathered around a table and talking like normal people. Sure, there was a gay angel making dinner for them, but as far as a Winchester is concerned that _is_ normal. Even though they were bickering and fussy about stupid shit, they were experiencing being a family.

“You’re right,” said Dean. His voice got a little softer now. He looked at Bobby, who ate slowly behind a smirk, then Sam was chewing and glancing upwards, obviously very far away in some sort of geeky train of thought. Finally, Cas; he stood behind everyone and just stared at them. “Hey Cas.”

“Yes?”

“Why don’t you sit with us?” Dean suggested as he pointed to the last empty chair.

“I can,” Cas answered. He vanished and reappeared in that chair, looking at Dean. “Is this better?”

“Yeah. I know you’re still used to just observing us and shit, but this feels like family and we are family, so you should really hang out with us here.”

“Thank you, Dean. I feel like family.”

Sam rolled his eyes then made a kissy face at Dean, but the older brother glared back quite angrily and Sam stopped immediately. Bobby didn’t even notice. He was too busy eating.

“Hey,” Sam said. “It’s too bad you can’t eat any of this with us.”

“I would prefer to avoid those complications,” said Cas. He looked at Sam and smiled just a tiny bit. Underneath the shield of the table, Dean placed his hand on Cas’ thigh and stroked lightly. Suddenly, both Sam and Bobby covered their ears and yelled out.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT IS THAT!” Sam screamed.

“Dang it, Cas!” Bobby shouted. “Dang it!”

Dean moved his hand away and looked at the other men in surprised. “What? What?” he asked, desperate for answers. “What just happened?”

“The hell if I should know!” Bobby groaned. He winced and moved his hands away from his ears, glaring at Cas. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.” The angel looked embarrassed.

“Why the heck didja _do_ that?!”

“I was, I’m not sure,” Cas stuttered. He looked at Dean with his eyes wide open. “It was a mistake.”

“Try ta make a few less mistakes, alright?” Bobby grumped and finished his food. He shook his head and slowly rolled back to his desk, muttering “idjits.”

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Cas said to the younger Winchester.

“It’s okay,” he answered. “I dunno what that was but I’ve heard it before. I guess it was just startling.”

Now Dean had been staring at Cas and drumming his fingers on the table that whole time. “Uh, Cas?” he said, sounding annoyed. “A moment?”

“A moment?” Cas asked.

“A moment alone? You and me, talking? Without anybody else?”

“Oh. Yes. Of course.”

Dean pushed his plate away, finished his whiskey then stomped away and upstairs. Sam shrugged at Cas. “Dean being Dean, I guess?” he said.

“Well, Dean _is_ Dean,” Cas agreed halfheartedly. He followed Dean upstairs and they stopped in the hallway.

“What the hell was that?!” Dean huffed in a sharp, low tone.

“I’m sorry. I said I was sorry.”

“Why did you do that?”

“I was overcome with emotions. I did not know what else to do. You’re angry.”

Dean sighed. “I’m not angry,” he said. “It just freaked me out a little. I don’t want Bobby to catch onto any of this, you know that.”

“I am backed up.”

“I thought you prefer to avoid those complications.”

“I mean with emotions. I am backed up. When we began to express our true feelings I was very overwhelmed with these small sensations. Making sex with you released them. Kissing you released them. Now that I have unlocked these feelings within me, I cannot go back to the way I had been previously. Our reoccurring abstinence is causing great chaos inside me.”

“Damn, Cas. I’m sorry. That must suck.”

“Yes, I guess it does suck.”

“Everything is so fucking difficult now,” Dean groaned. He put his arms around Cas’ waist and pulled him close. The angel immediately nuzzled in his chest happily. “This shit with Sam, then Bobby, and of course Lucifer and Michael and blah blah blah; I’ve been neglecting to think about how you feel.”

“I forgive you, Dean,” Cas said softly. He reached up and laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I understand.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

Dean backed up and pushed open the bathroom door behind them, and once they were inside he flipped on the light and closed the door. Immediately he set to work, undoing Cas’ pants so that they dropped to the ground and then zipping his fly down and whipping out his lonely dick. He scooped Cas up and propped him onto the bathroom sink. Cas lifted his legs and put them high up on Dean’s shoulders, staring up at him with his mouth open.

“You need this?” Dean whispered. Cas nodded, nothing more.

So Dean spread the angel’s cheeks just a bit a pressed his dick against the tight hole. Cas gripped the edge of the sink and closed his eyes, moaning very softly. Dean’s hands rolled up both of Cas’ legs, stroking just a little, and he began to thrust.

“D-Dean,” Cas moaned in a low whisper. Dean bit down on his lower lip and focused intently on the angel, bobbing his ass back and forth against Dean’s crotch. His dick throbbed hard as he began to fuck him rigorously. The angel’s fingers dug into the countertop more, shaking, already sweating. The back of his head pressed against the mirror, but that made it rattle in time with their thrusts, so Dean grabbed Cas’ by his necktie and hoisted him off of it. He held the tie hard and pulled Cas closer. All the angel could do was breath out strongly and gaze deeply into his lover’s eyes. They needed this more. They absolutely needed it. The desire was not so much for physical release but for their bodies to touch and whatever sort of soul Cas had to comingle with Dean’s, like a metaphysical reminder of their love; their profound bond.

Dean pulled Cas close enough so that he could bend down and kiss him. The thrusting continued at a rapid rate and now their wet, sloppy lips met and popped together, twisting and turning with a heavy, thick, lusty desire. Sex with Cas was the best sex of Dean’s entire life, and he still wasn’t sure if it was due to the whole soul mate thing, or maybe he had just been picking the wrong gender to fuck. Either way it was amazing. It was almost magical, as stupid as that sounded (and to Dean it sounded mega stupid).

“Dean!” Cas moaned. He shivered all over and tightened his asshole around the dick, then gasped several times and began to gyrate his ass against Dean’s waist.

“Oh, fuck!” Dean cried out. “Oh fucking, oh, oh, Cas!”

“Orgasm is imminent,” was Cas’ breathy whisper, staring at Dean so deeply that he appeared to be reading far inside him.

Dean nodded and fucked him harder, but just before they reached their mutual climax, the bathroom door opened up and Sam tried to come in.

“OH MY GOD!” Sam shrieked. His face turned bright red and he slammed the door. Cas stared at Dean blankly, but the older brother almost died.

Sam could be heard running downstairs where he cried out, “Bobby! Tell Dean and Cas to stop having sex when I’m home!”


	19. The Show Must Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret is out, but Bobby's reaction isn't quite what Dean expects. As they head back out on the road, Dean has a lot to consider, especially with Sam's age-curse almost completely reversed.

“Put your pants back on! Put your pants back on!” Dean commanded Cas as he scurried about the bathroom, stuffing his dick back in his fly and grimacing. “Shit shit shit!”

“You need to calm down, Dean.”

“How can I calm down?! My brother just saw me plowing you and now Bobby knows and ugh! Ugh!”

“There is no avoiding it now.”

Dean groaned real loud and carefully left the bathroom, Cas following behind. They could hear Bobby and Sam talking down in the study.

“I don’t know why they have to do it so much,” Sam sighed.

“You seen ‘em doin’ it before?” Bobby asked, aghast.

“Not on purpose.”

“Dang it, boy!”

Dean looked back at Cas and winced painfully. “This isn’t good,” he said.

“Go downstairs, Dean.”

“Ugghh.” He sighed and descended the stairs like he was walking to his death. When they both came into the study, Sam froze and stared at them. Bobby shook his head.

“Why’d you do it, Dean?” the older man asked.

“Uhh. Do…what?” Dean retorted sheepishly.

“You know damn well what,” Bobby huffed.

Now Cas popped into the conversation. “We have been attempting to keep it a secret,” he said. Dean chagrinned with a weak shudder.

“Cas,” he moaned. “Just don’t talk.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas said very quietly.

“ _Dean!_ ” Bobby yelled. “Ya mind explainin’ what’s goin’ on here? You really just slipped upstairs to whack one out with th’angel?”

“Uh,” Dean’s face turned even redder and he looked down at the ground. “I uh…well…” he glanced at Sam, who folded his thin arms and made a sad face. No way was he going to make Sam look like a liar. “Yeah. Yeah, I was. But Bobby, you gotta understand—“

“I understand plenty,” Bobby grumped. He rolled his eyes with a tired sighed as Dean braced for a verbal ass whooping. “How long didja think ya’d be able ta keep that a secret?”

Confused, Dean shrugged. Cas copied his partner’s motions. Bobby couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?! What’s funny?!” Dean huffed.

“Idjit,” Bobby said.

“Damn it Bobby, what’s funny?!”

The older man wheeled up close to Dean narrowed his eyes, still smiling somewhat. “Ya think it wasn’t obvious?” he sneered. “Ya think we didn’t know?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean said.

“Dang it, Dean! Dang it! Dang it, dang it!”

“What!?”

Looking uncomfortable, Sam got off the sofa and slinked away to find a quiet corner and pick up on his reading. Nobody else much noticed him leave.

“Every time Cas ain’t around, all Dean talks about is Cas,” Bobby continued. “And when Dean ain’t around, all Cas does is talk about Dean! Ya can’t stop eyeballin’ each other and ya argue like a married couple! Every danged hunter’s been sayin’ yer gay since ya came back!”

“Oh,” Dean said. His eyes widened and he bit his lower lip. “I uh, I didn’t realize it was that obvious.”

Bobby nodded. “So now that’s off yer chest can ya just shut up an’ be gay?”

“Yes,” Cas agreed happily. He snatched Dean’s hand up like an eagle and zoomed in to his cheek for a kiss. Bobby shook his head and wheeled over to his desk.

“’Course ya can’t find a normal entity to fall in love with,” the older man grumbled.

Dean shrugged. Suddenly his embarrassment had lifted and he felt really, really good about himself. For once. He smiled at Cas and squeezed his hand. “It’s not really my fault,” Dean explained. “See, Cas and I have this uhhh, _profound bond.”_

“I don’t care,” Bobby said. “Not unless that profound bond a’ yers can stop th’danged apocalypse!”

“Highly unlikely,” Cas interjected.

“Thanks,” said Dean. He grinned with his sarcasm. “Can always count on you.”

“That is my goal.”

“Right, right. Mr. Sarcasm over here.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m being sarcastic. You of all people should understand what that means. It has your name in it for fuck’s sake.”

“The subtleties are difficult to understand. I’m sorry.”

Bobby groaned real loud behind a book. “Like a married couple!” he shouted. “An’ ya really thought we didn’t know y’all were queer for each other?”

“Bobby!” Dean shouted. “ _I_ didn’t even know!”

“Dunno how ya missed that.”

“It’s been seriously difficult trying to work this out, believe me.”

“So hard that ya can’t stop fuckin’ the angel even when your brother’s around? Come on, boy. Ya know that ain’t right.”

“Sorry,” Dean sighed. “Guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah no shit,” Bobby said. “Listen, I don’t give a hoot that yer gay. Do whatever, or whoever ya want. But I just can’t have ya doing it in my own house, alright? Now I really need ta have some alone time, so I think it’s about time the three of ya find a case to work on.”

“Are you kicking us out, Bobby?” Dean asked.

“In not so many words, I guess so.”

Feeling offended but not rightfully so, Dean slumped over and glared at Bobby. “Okay,” he said defeated. “You got anything for us?”

Bobby put down his book and picked up a newspaper. Holding it in his hand, he shook it at Dean. “Buncha missing persons an’ electrical storms over in Idaho. Sounds like it might be our kinda thing.”

“Okay,” Dean agreed. He took the paper and gave it a once over. “Hey Cas, go tell Sam to get ready.”

“Yes.”

Cas vanished, obviously to get the younger Winchester, leaving Bobby and Dean alone. “Sure you aren’t mad or weirded out or anything?” Dean asked.

“I told ya, I ain’t surprised. Can’t say it don’t gross me out a li’l bit but what am I s’posed to do? Good thing yer dad ain’t around ta’ know.”

Dean frowned. He sighed. Knowing John would be disappointed in his sexuality made him feel rotten on the inside, but his relationship with Cas was actually (heheh) profound enough that it acted as a crutch to get over himself a little.

“Don’t look so glum, boy,” Bobby added. “I ain’t gonna judge ya none. Just as long as ya don’t do whatever you do to him in here.”

“Sorry, Bobby. It’s been a crazy two months.”

“It’s alright, Dean. Hell, if ya can’t count on me to accept ya, who can? But I gotta ask…think Sam’s just gonna be hunky dory with all a’ this once he finishes growing back ta normal?”

“What do you mean?”

“Sure he’s okay now, I _guess,_ but obviously he ain’t got all his memories back yet. I reckon they’ll come back once he gets to his ‘should be’ age. I just wonder if he’ll be acceptin’ of his big brother bein’ queer.”

“I don’t know,” Dean said softly. “Pretty good question though. I’m not sure how I’ll handle it.”

“Cross that bridge when we get there, right?”

“Right.”

At that moment, Sam and Cas came down the stairs together. “We’re leaving like now, right?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean told him. “Pretty much. You ready?”

“Yep.”

“Alright. Okay, so we’ll let you know how it goes. See you later, Bobby.”

“Watch out fer Sam, will ya? I fergit how good’a shot he is at that age.” Bobby flashed a toothy grin behind his beard and waved the man/boy/celestial being goodbye. The three of them stepped out into the salvage yard and packed into Baby.

“Uh-uh!” Dean barked at Sam, who immediately went from the passenger’s seat.

“What? I always sit shotgun.”

“Kids sit in the back. Sorry, Sammy. That’s the rules. Passenger’s seat is for adults only. Cas? After you.”

“Thank you, Dean.” The angel humbly got in the front while Sam shoved into the back. Dean took his usual seat and revved up the engine.

“I guess it’s all going back to normal again,” Dean said with a sigh. He could already see his apron-clad, pie baking trophy angel disappearing.

“That is not entirely true,” Cas retorted. “The steps we have made cannot be erased so easily.”

“I _guess_ you’re right,” Dean sighed heavily some more, staring at the empty road ahead. Sam grouched silently behind a book in the backseat.

“You heard what Bobby said,” Cas continued. “Other hunters have already known the extent of our bond. That means there is no reason to hide our relationship, correct?”

“Yep,” Dean said with a hard swallow. He looked at Cas briefly. “Shit, it feels weird but it also feels _right_.”

“I agree.”

They stopped at a light and Dean leaned over to kiss Cas on the kiss. Sam peered over his book at them and made a frowny face. “Euggh,” he groaned. “When did you become lame?”

“Oh,” Dean laughed. “OH! Are you serious? Little brother nerd face Sammy is gonna tell Dean he’s lame? Right. Riiiight.” Sam stuck his tongue out and the light changed.

* * *

“This is about halfway,” Dean announced as he pulled Baby into a motel parking lot. “Let’s regroup here for a few.”

“I’m _so_ tired,” Sam moaned.

“It’s alright Sammy. We have enough time to give you a little extra to grow on.”

“Thanks.”

They all got out of the car and Dean ran into the office to get a room. He returned triumphantly with a key and sauntered down the sidewalk, followed closely by Sam and Cas. They got to their room and everyone piled inside.

Dean tossed his duffle bag down on the bed and flopped down. “Man, sitting in a car all day sure makes you wanna sit on a bed all night,” he remarked. Sam sat on the other bed and smiled, nodding.

“Yeah, it kinda does,” he agreed. “Where’d Cas go?”

Dean looked around and groaned. “Ugh,” he said. “Who knows. He’ll be back. Just wish he’d tell me before he leaves.”

“Hey, Dean?” Sam asked.

“What.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about freaking out and telling Bobby what I saw.”

“It’s okay, Sammy. If it were you I’d probly do that same thing.”

“I’ve been feeling so weird lately. Like, I know you two are married and stuff but—“

“Woah woah, Sam, we aren’t _married_.”

“Didn’t Bobby say you have married couple arguments?”

“He said we argue _like_ a married couple, but we are _not_ married.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Sam apologized quickly. He cracked his spine and yawned. “So why not?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why aren’t you married?”

“Dude, Sam. Don’t you know me better than this?” Sam shrugged. “Marriage just isn’t my thing.”

“Why? ‘Cause you’re a hunter? Hunters can get married.”

“No, it’s not that…”

“’Cause he’s an angel? His body is human and humans can get married.”

“No, Sam, stop.” Dean lay back on the bed and raised his hand to his face tensely.

“’Cause he’s a guy? Just find the right state.”

“Sam! Come on! I don’t want to marry him because I’m scared!” Dean yelled quickly. The room fell silent.

“What?” Sam asked. His awkward becoming-an-adult face scrunched up funnily. “Dean? Scared? Of what?”

Dean sighed real heavy. He turned on his side to face Sam’s bed and looked over at him. “Promise not to tell Cas, okay?”

“I promise.”

“Alright, well I don’t want to marry him because I’m scared I’ll be a crappy husband.”

“How come?”

“I’m a crappy everything, Sammy. I’m a crappy brother, crappy hunter, crappy _everything_. What would make me as a husband any different?”

“You aren’t crappy,” Sam said with a weak smile.

“Thanks, but you’re my little brother. You’ll always look up to me.”

“That’s not true,” said Sam. “If you were crappy I would tell you. But I think you’re a great brother.”

“Really mean that?”

“Yeah!”

“Thanks, Sammy. Don’t know what I’d do without ya.”

Just then, Cas swooshed back in the room. Dean glared up at him. “Where were you?” he asked.

“Just some things,” Cas answered. “I’m sorry.”

Sam giggled a little to himself as Cas showed Dean the pack of beer he acquired on his journey, immediately turning Dean’s frown into a smile. The angel brought him a can and cracked it open.

“Thanks,” Dean said smoothly, taking the beer and immediately drinking it. He smacked his lips and smiled.

“I’m hungry,” Sam groaned. “Why couldn’t you bring food, too?”

“I didn’t know you were hungry,” Cas said. “I can go if you would like.”

“Nah, nah. Hey Sam, here.” Dean took some cash out of his pocket and tossed it at him. It fluttered to the ground anticlimactically. “Go buy yourself something to eat.”

“Really?” Sam asked. He slowly slid off the bed and picked up the money like it might bite him.

“Yeah sure. We’ll be here. Take your time.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Dean!” With a big grin, Sam scooped up the rest of the bills, stuffed them into his oversized pocket and went for the door. “I’ll see you guys laters. Bye.”

“Just bring me a burger!” Dean yelled.

“Okay!”

“AND SOME PIE!”

“Okay!”

The door slammed shut and Dean looked up at Cas. “We need to talk,” he said. All humor left his voice and he became quite solemn.

“Yes?” Cas asked. He sat down by Dean and touched his head lightly. “What is the issue?”

“Something Bobby said before we left.”

“What was it?”

Dean sighed stiffly. “Said that Sam might get weird about us when he finally grows up all the way. Bobby’s noticed that all his memories aren’t totally intact, so he could change when it’s all said and done.”

“I see,” Cas said thoughtfully. “That could pose a potential problem. Is it possible that Sam would be unaccepting of your lifestyle?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know.”

“Well,” Cas began, raising his eyebrows. “I see two ways of approaching this situation; we could, quite sadly I think, turn our backs on this relationship and pretend it never happened, in which case Sam would never know. Or it is possible that I erase his memory of us as a couple and we keep act on it in private.”

“Ugh,” Dean groaned. “I hate both of those. Maybe Sam will be cool about it.”

“Are you saying that you would prefer to keep our relationship active currently?”

“Yeah of course,” the man said with a new smile. He reached out and grabbed Cas’ hand. “I know it’s making me kinda soft on the inside, but being with you has given me a lot to look forward to.”

“Is that true?” Cas gasped, blushing.

“I wouldn’t lie about that. You’d figured it out anyway.”

“That is very flattering,” Cas said. “And I have learned much about myself as I have interacted with you in a more intimate way. I am experiencing new emotions and learning to express myself clearer. It’s all because of you. And, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“You aren’t going soft.”

“No?”

“You’ve always been soft.”

“Oh.”

Dean sorta frowned and felt sick at that thought. This whole time he thought he was the biggest, baddest motherfucker in town, but a damned angel could see right through it?

“You are still the biggest, baddest motherfucker in town,” Cas said.

“Stop reading my thoughts,” Dean grumped.

“I’m sorry. But it is true.”

“Creepy, but thanks, babe. You mean a lot to me, Cas.”

“You mean everything to me, Dean.”

Dean grabbed both of Cas’ arms and pulled him down for a kiss. The angel naturally fell into his embrace and even straddled him with his leg, touching their chests together. They kissed hotly, moving their heads in unison as their mouths smacked and squelched.

“Oh, _Dean_ ,” Cas moaned.

“I love you so damn much, Cas,” slipped out of Dean’s mouth as he kept kissing the angel. His arms wrapped around the trench-clad torso tightly and groped up to the back of his head. Still kissing with great passion, both of Dean’s hands ran through lush tufts of Cas’ soft, dark hair. He gripped into the roots and pulled the angel’s head to the side so he had access to his neck, whereupon Dean buried his face into the nape and sucked hard. Cas’ hands reached out to the pillows and clawed them furiously.

“Dean!” Cas cried. Their twin erections slowly ground into each other, causing deep moans and groans to build up in both of their throats. “ _De-ean!”_

“Shh,” Dean hushed. “I don’t think we have enough to time fuck.”

“You’re right,” Cas agreed. He moved back and stared Dean in the eyes. “That’s alright. Perhaps we will get Sam to leave a little longer tomorrow morning, before we leave?”

“Or you and I could go somewhere.”

“These are both possibilities. We will figure it out.” Cas kissed Dean a few more times on the lips then rolled off of it. He sat up and took his trench coat and suit jacket off.

Right on cue, Sam came in. He tossed a paper bag at Dean, which he caught midair. “Thanks, man,” he said, pawing through it. Then he glared. “You little shit!”

“What?!” Sam scoffed.

“You forgot my damn pie!”

“Sorry!”

“Ugghh.”

The older of them disappointedly wolfed down his burger and fries and Sam got ready for bed. Cas sat just a few inches away from Dean the whole time, then after the lights went off for the night, the Winchesters got into their respective covers but Cas laid down and cuddled up to his partner.

“Dean?” He asked softly. Poor little Sammy was already asleep and groaning furiously as he dreamed, hopefully of nothing too terrible.

“Yeah?” Dean answered. He turned over and saw Cas’ face outlined by a streak of moonlight that beamed in through the blinds. The angel touched Dean’s chest softly.

“It might sound silly,” Cas murmured. His voice was little more than a graveled hum. “But I would like to lay here with you tonight.”

“Why is that silly? You sleep on me all the time.”

“I won’t be sleeping.”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t see why this is such a big deal. How many times have you laid on me, wide awake and watching me sleep?”

“Many,” Cas admitted.

“So what’s different?”

“It’s not.”

“Uhh, so why did you say it might sound silly?”

“Because I asked for permission.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I really don’t get you sometimes. Come here.” He pulled back the covers and let the angel slide in. Immediately Cas cuddled up to Deans chest and closed his eyes. He pressed his ear to his heart and listened to it beating. “You don’t need to ask permission for this sorta thing…

“Cas?

“Hey.

“Cas?”

Dean rattled the angel slightly but suddenly stopped. Instead he hugged him, held him and nuzzled his nose into the soft hair. He inhaled his scent and closed his eyes, smiling and almost crying at the fact that _somehow_ the angel had managed to simply fall asleep.


	20. And the Silver Spoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse is lifting. Dean and Cas have to make a decision based on how Sam turns out. The clock is ticking and the apocalypse is still right around the corner, but the facade of being a family is fading fast.

“… _Dean_ …”

“Mmmh…Fhhh…Uhhhh…”

Woken up out of a pretty deep slumber, Dean groaned real loud and turned over with a sigh. Then the back of his head was poked lightly.

“Dean.”

“ _Whaat_.”

“Face me again, please.”

He yawned and rolled over. Once he was finally able to open to his, Dean saw Cas still lying there, staring right back at him.

“What’s wrong,” Dean said in a scruffy voice.

“I’m concerned for Sam.”

“Why.”

“He has been moving strenuously all night.”

“Probably another growth spurt, Cas,” Dean suppressed a yawn. “Go back to sleep.”

“I believe it may be the final one.”

“Oh, okay, that’s nice.” Another yawn and Dean’s eyes closed once more, only to shoot open when he realized what Cas had said. “Wait, the last one?”

“Yes.”

“So that means he’ll be going back to normal and junk?”

“I would assume.”

“Awesome,” Dean sighed.

“Not exactly.”

“Ugh, you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Cas c’mon, this isn’t the time to split hairs. What are we gonna do?”

“First we will have to assess how he is feeling, how his memories are and if he has made a full recovery. Once we understand everything he has gone through, we can further decide our plans based on his reactions.”

“Okay.”

Dean lifted his head up and glanced over Cas to Sam’s bed, where his brother was shaking and writhing from time to time. He made little groans and other sounds of discomfort which was _terribly_ painful to Dean, knowing that he just had to leave him alone and let the juice do it’s this.

“I don’t wanna wake him up. Let’s step out front and talk this through, okay?”

“Sure.”

They both got out of bed and carefully stepped through the motel room, taking any preventative measures to keep quiet. Once they left and the door closed behind them, Cas said, “Why did we use our feet?”

“I dunno. I’m only half awake.”

“Very well.”

Dean put his back against the outside wall and stared across the parking lot. Just a few cars dotted every couple space, covered in the thick veil of night. Cas stood there motionless and looked in the same direction that Dean did.

“So,” Dean began. “Worst case scenario; Sam realizes what’s happened, he flips out. Then you’ll just wipe his memory of it, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“All of it?”

“As much as I find suitable.”

“Okay,” Dean bitterly agreed. “Then we’ll just have to lay low for a while.”

“Lay low?”

“Yeah like, not kiss in front of him and stuff.”

“But we can still kiss in his absence?”

“Yeah. All of that. Sam isn’t gonna stop us from being a couple, even if we’re only a secret couple. Obviously fate or destiny or whatever says we’re supposed to be together, so we should stay together.”

“I agree.”

With a little grunt, Dean let off of the wall and gently stood behind Cas. He slipped both arms around his neck and pulled him back so that Dean could easily bring his face to the side of Cas’ face. His nose touched the angel’s ear and slowly, softly, lovingly ran through his hair. Cas closed his eyes and rocked his head back slightly. “When you touch me,” he said in a quiet tone. “An element inside of me shifts.”

“Like what?” Dean whispered in response.

“It is difficult to explain. I feel somehow _relaxed_. The sensation is similar to a mellowing of the heart.”

“That makes no sense to me, man,” Dean admitted, smiling with his eyes closed. He put a few tender kisses against Cas’ neck and breathed him in deeply. Awkwardly, Cas reached his hands backwards and touched the sides of Dean’s thighs.

“If the situation goes awry,” said the angel. “Know that I am always willing to take us somewhere secluded to be alone together.”

“I know,” Dean hummed. “Thanks.”

“It could be considered funny…”

“What?”

Just lightly did Cas’ fingers start to move around against Dean’s pants, stroking the denim with a sweet shakiness.

“For epochs have I stood back and observed this planet, Dean.”

“What’s that?”

“Years in millions.”

“Oh. Woah. Y-yeah?”

“Centuries have gone by and I have become strangely fond of your kind, I must admit.” Cas couldn’t help but struggle to form a smile here. “There are many aspects of you all that confounds me; sarcasm, lies, adultery to name a few. But I was never capable of understanding love. Love in a heavenly sense, yes. That is bestowed in every angel from the beginning, but Earthly love is much different. It’s fickle, it’s dry, it’s very strange.

“Years passed and as humans developed, I learned that most of you do not find the deep love you seek. You settle for lesser kinds. It seems that most people are ultimately happy with their choices, but what they are unaware of is that there is one other human out there that has the potential to match them completely.”

“O-okay,” Dean said. He wasn’t sure how else to respond. That was a lot of words and a lot of heavy stuff and it kinda put him on the spot. “So are uh, what are you saying?”

Cas looked over his shoulder and stared right into Dean’s eyes. He was serious but also very kind looking. “What I am saying is that I have begun to understand what humans call love, and I have found that other being that completes me.”

“I complete you?”

“Yes.”

Dean nodded a couple times as he chewed through some words, nervous about what he could say. How do you respond an eternal, ethereal being when he pours his proverbial heart out to you?

“You complete me, too,” Dean said. It was perfect. He leaned into Cas and kissed him straight on the lips, delicately but also with a driving force of passion.

“Oh, Dean, how I wish I could give you eternal life.”

“Okay, _now_ you’re getting too deep,” Dean said with a shy chuckle. “Let’s stick to just one heavy conversation a day, how’s that?”

“Forgive me. I understand.”

“No worries, Cas. You don’t need to apologize. We’ll pick up on this some other time, I promise.”

A lamp inside their room flicked on and Dean looked right at it. “Guess he’s up.”

“That is was it appears to be.”

“Alright, let’s just go for it and see how it pans out. Right?”

“Right.”

Dean went to the door and opened it slowly, sticking his head in first.

“Hey, Sammy, you up?”

“What the hell, Dean,” was the first thing Sam said. Dean and Cas stepped into the room fully and saw the younger Winchester standing there with his arms folded. Yep, that was regular Sam alright.

“What do you mean what the hell?” Dean retorted.

“I saw you out there,” Sam snapped. “I know what’s going on.”

“Oh, so you’re back from magical baby land and now you’re a peeper? That’s great.”

“How long was I a kid?” Sam asked.

“Two months,” Cas interjected with some urgency. He walked up to Sam and stared right at him. “What do you recall?”

“I remember falling in the fountain,” said Sam. “Then I just have these sort of spotty recollections of growing up. But like, I can’t pick them out from my real childhood.”

“Damn, really?” Dean asked, trying to remain cool.

“Mostly, yeah. They’re similar except for the fact that in half of them MY BROTHER IS HAVING SEX WITH AN ANGEL!!” Sam suddenly erupted into anger and glared at Dean. Cas stepped out of the way.

“Oh, oh, so you can drink demon blood but I can’t have sex with an angel?” Dean argued back.

“Dean! This is different! How do you go from being such a macho man, to getting domestic with an angel? A _male_ angel? What the heck happened to you? Don’t you think this could pose a threat with our enemies? Didn’t you think about that? They have enough crap to hold against us, now this?!”

“It’s who I am, Sam!” Dean yelled. “Can you _try_ to be mature about it? Are you _sure_ you’re grown up all the way?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Sam said, nodding stiffly. “A-and how does Bobby feel? I guess he knows considering all the, the, the butt _things_ you’ve been doing in his house?!”

“Bobby is cool with it, if you gotta know,” Dean said, doing his best to diffuse the argument.

“Really?” Sam asked. His tone dropped.

“Yep. He said he knew all along and wasn’t surprised and it’s all cool and fine we just can’t have sex around him.”

“Okay,” Sam hummed. “But Dean, I’m really not okay with it.”

Dean put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Well,” he said. Cas nodded along with him. “Get over it.”

* * *

“Since you’re officially back to being an adult, you can claim your rightful place in the front seat.”

Sam glared at Dean and said nothing, just got in his seat and sat down grumpily. Cas went in the back and sat behind Dean.

“Sammy, you just gonna give me the silent treatment for the rest of our lives?” Dean asked.

“You aren’t gay, Dean.”

“And I always thought you were the open minded one.”

Sam rolled his eyes and looked out the window. The engine revved up and they drove off.

“Listen, it took me a while to adjust, too,” Dean explained. “I had a lot of internal battles to fight before I just accepted that Cas and I are meant to be.”

“You aren’t gay, Dean! You’re just, I dunno, confused!”

“Really?” Dean gasped. “Coming from you? Sammy, you are the last guy I’d ever think would act like this. You know if you were gay I’d support you.”

“I’m not gay.”

“Never said you were. Never said you were.”

Sam grunted real loud and drummed his fingers on his lap. Dean looked over at him a few times, frowning sadly.

“You really don’t remember your second childhood?” the eldest asked.

“Not exactly.”

“That sucks.”

“I dunno.”

The air remained fairly tight as they drove along. Sam and Cas stayed quiet and the only thing that came out of Dean was his usual obnoxious singing along with the radio. After the end of a painful _Black Dog_ session, Sam reached over and turned the volume down.

“Hey! Sammy! Handies offsies!” Dean barked, but his brother had his arms folded like a bitch wife and glared at him. “What now?”

“You’re just going to pretend that this is nothing, aren’t you?” Sam asked.

“What else can I do?”

From the backseat, Cas interjected “It’s not nothing, Sam. It’s the archaic destiny of our lives.”

Sam sighed stiffly. He basically ignored Cas and asked Dean, “Can you at least tell me that you aren’t…putting anything…in you?”

“Aww damn it, Sam! You know me better than that!” Dean’s face turned bright red as he yelled, somewhat teasingly.

“I’m just asking.”

“This asshole is exit only, thanks.”

Now Cas leaned over to Sam and said, “If it would dissolve the tension of this conversation, might I add that I enjoy putting Dean in me?”

“CAS!!” Both Winchesters yelled. Dean laughed a little and glanced at Sam, but the younger was still frowning bitterly. He turned to the window and stared out with a sullen face.

* * *

They rolled into the town in question pretty late at night. Still, there was nothing but arguments throughout the entire drive. It was awkward and tense, and the worst part was that Dean and Cas knew what was coming.

Once they got to the first motel in sight, Dean parked the car and everyone got out. Going into the room, Sam stopped before Cas could come inside.

“I don’t want him in here,” Sam said.

“What?!” Dean snapped.

“I don’t want him in here!”

“I need him with us.”

“I don’t want him here. It’s gross. It’s too much. I don’t want you guys, youknowwhat when I’m around.”

“We aren’t gonna!” Dean yelled. “What, you think we’re so hot for each other that we can’t control our needs, and we go around having sex everywhere? Yeah, yeah right.” Cas looked at Dean and raised his eyebrows. “Shush.”

“Well if you’re not going to keep Cas out, then I’ll just get another room myself.” Sam delivered the ultimatum with a flip of his hair and walked off.

“Wait! Sam, come on! You’re being such a child!” Dean sighed weakly but let his brother go. He slinked away into the room with Cas and flopped onto the bed. “Fucking shit, man.”

Cas softly sat down beside him and touched Dean’s back. “We have to erase his memory, Dean.”

“I know,” Dean moaned into a pillow. “I’ve known. You’re right.”

“I agree that his reaction was uncalled for and it even surprised me, but we must follow through with our plan.”

Dean turned his head to the side and looked up at Cas, sadly. “So we’re going underground now?”

“No, we will stay on this surface.”

“I mean we gotta keep this a secret again?”

“That was your idea but yes, that is how it will have to work out.”

“Alright. But hey, we’ll find time to be alone.”

“Yes.”

Dean rolled onto his back and pulled Cas down with one strong motion. The angel toppled lightly upon his chest and sat up on him.

“We got the room to ourselves, ya know,” Dean said, grinning.

“Sam is currently waiting on me to cure his angst, and you are thinking about sex?”

“Yep.”

“Very well.”

Cas leaned down to Dean’s level and kissed him on the lips. It had been too long. Dean heatedly grabbed the back of Cas’ pants and tugged on them, then came around to the front and undid the fly. Just briefly the angel sat up so they could come off, and in that time Dean also slipped off the tie and unbuttoned his shirt.

“Nobody’s gonna bother us,” Dean said. “So we’re in no rush or nothing like that.”

“Correct.”

Dean undressed himself completely and lay on his back again. Once Cas was naked as well, he climbed atop his lover once more and pressed their chests together. Dean’s hands climbed up Cas’ slender back and held his head, pushing him to further the kiss. They moaned together. Already was sweat starting to stick their bodies together.

“Damn it, Cas,” Dean moaned.

“Is there a problem?”

“Nah, just saying.”

Cas sat up and arched his ass out, grinding down on Dean’s cock. They both braced as the angel sat down on the shaft. Dean cried out loudly upon penetration, taking Cas’ waist in his hands to help him bounce. He hips rocked upwards to meet each grind that Cas made, thus twisting their bodies in unison like cogs. Dean rolled his head back and closed his eyes, moaning and panting loudly. Being inside of Cas was the best feeling _ever_.

“Oh, Dean,” Cas moaned. His body bobbed on Dean’s cock rhythmically, rocking his head back on forth on his neck.

“Fuck,” Dean answered. With one strong motion, he swept out from under Cas and toppled him over. Cas gasped when he was smacked down and pinned underneath Dean, and then he stared up at him with his eyes wide open. Dean towered over Cas like a mighty predator, spreading the angel’s legs just a bit and hooking them on his shoulders. Now the man could deliver strong pounding after pounding, slamming Cas back into the headboard. It was loud and wild, especially as Cas gripped into the sheets, nearly ripping them, and called out heavy moans.

“Cas! Fuck! Ahh!” Dean cried as his orgasm approached. He worked his core harder and slammed Cas with an intense velocity. The angel shook all over and stared at his partner with heavy, glassy eyes.

In one ultimate crescendo, the bodies clutched to each other, writhing, twisting and moaning with great intensity. Cas’ angel radio flared up just momentarily; not enough to break anything but it was noticeably audible. Dean arched his back and screamed into the room, filling Cas with a long awaited release of cum.

Then they settled. Dean sighed and fell off of his partner, onto the powder-laden sheets, drenched in sweat. “Oh, man,” Dean huffed. He took Cas’ hand in his and squeezed lightly. “You alright? You awake?”

“Yes,” Cas replied. He was catching his breath as well, but as soon as he settled he got up and put his clothes back on.

“Hey Cas, what’re you doing?”

“I need to fix Sam,” he said with a determined as usual face.

“Right now? Don’t you want to stay and cuddle?”

“There is always more time for cuddling. I need to fix Sam before he gets too deep in his memories.”

Dean frowned. He got up and dressed as well. Before Cas could leave, he grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Cas, wait.”

“Yes?”

Dean wet his lips and looked around oddly. “Listen, I gotta tell you something.”

“Of course.”

“I feel bad about this.”

“About what?”

“Having to make our relationship a secret. I feel really, really bad. ‘Cause I love you. And well, maybe, maybe one day we’ll be able to explain it to Sam and he’ll be cool with it.”

“I very much hope so.”

“I think it might work out like that. If we take it slow.”

“I agree.”

Cas started to head towards the door again but Dean wouldn’t let off his arm. “Wait, Cas.”

“Yes?”

“One more thing.”

“Of course.”

“I uh, see, just in case we make it out of this apocalypse thing alright…” He looked down and blushed.

“Yes? Dean, you can tell me.”

“If we do, which I don’t think we will, I’ll uh, I’ll marry you.”

“What?”

“I’ll marry you.”

Cas stared at Dean intensely. “You mean that.”

“Yeah, I do. I really do. I mean let’s be honest here, you and I both know we aren’t gonna fix this. It’s all gonna go to shit and we’ll be dead in probably less than a month. So it’s basically stupid to even say this. But I mean it. If somehow some crazy ass miracle is pulled and we live and the world is saved, I will marry you. Get you a pretty little ring, too. And then Sam and everyone will know. And you can be Cas Winchester for all I care.”

A loud buzz of angel talk filled the room suddenly. The glass wiggled just for a second and then it cut off. Cas stepped closer to Dean and hugged him. He nuzzled into Dean’s cheek and sighed contentedly. “I would like that very much,” Cas whispered. “Thank you, Dean. You have made eternity worth it.”

“Don’t mention it, Cas,” Dean said quickly. He looked away. “N-now go fix Sammy, okay?”

“I will return momentarily.” Cas nodded just a bit and left Dean alone in the room.

“Damn,” Dean whispered to himself. He walked over to the bed, sat down, pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his duffle bag and took a long swig. He set the bottle down on the nightstand and wiped tears from his cheeks with the back of his sleeves. “Damn,” he said once more.

Stuffed away in a little pocket on the inside of his jacket was that drawing Sam did the other day. Dean pulled it out and looked it over briefly. He thought something like “they grow up so fast” and then laughed to himself as he stared at it.

The door opened up and Sam and Cas returned. Dean stuffed the paper away and looked back at them. “Hey,” he said.

“Oh hey Dean. You doing okay?” Sam asked. He looked a little bewildered.

“Yep. What about you?”

“I’m fine,” said Sam. Cas nodded at Dean behind his brother’s back. “I was just at the front desk looking at the local papers. I think we’re onto something here.”

“Cool,” Dean sighed.

He turned away from his brother and wiped another tear from his face. It felt sissy, but basically proposing to an angel was sissy, too. And having a fake family. And giving it to a guy in the butt. And it was all okay. It was sissy but it was great, and no matter what happened Dean and Cas would at least remember those days. Hell, maybe one day they could do it all over again.

But now wasn’t the time to worry about these things. Dean had a world to save, and he was going to save that world as best as he could. He looked over at Cas and smiled sadly, but the angel’s eyes sparkled at him and Cas blushed with a genuine, beautiful laugh.

**~*~ The End ~*~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for Sam being a dick. When I originally wrote the story, I considered all the ways he could have reacted and the subsequent endings, but this was the only way to give it that emotional blow that it has. I love Sammy and realize he wouldn't really act like this canonically.  
> Thank you for reading!


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